Things To Ignore, by Your Friend Lenore

At this point, your "TO DO in '22!" list has probably become your "TO DO in '23!" list. Mine, too. To salvage our self-respect, here is a far more achievable goal list for 2022: "Things to ignore, by your friend Lenore!"

In the coming year, we resolve to do our very best to ignore:

• Bad haircut (own)

• Bad haircut (friend's)

• Cookie on counter

• Tingle in wrist

• Pinching sandal

• Fleetingness of life

• Slurping sounds

• Car alarm

• Tightening chinos

• Pen in toilet

• Fly in sconce

• Slightly insulting birthday card

• Bowl un-returned

• Mis-laced sneaker

• Quiet yelp of despair

• Inconvenient itch

• "File Space Almost Full"

• Bathroom scale

• Snide tweet

• Gnawing sound behind fridge

• Gnawing ache in soul

• Friends' perfect lives

• Liquefying tomato

• Fruit flies

• Facebook ping

• Waterpik

• Cream cheese fuzz

• Crumbs in cracks

• Burger bag (back seat)

• Burger bag (front seat)

• Burger bag (pocket)

• Fry in cup-holder

• Nagging regret

• Dunkin' Donuts

• Timeshare pitch

• Reminder from Dr. Tooth

• Ding in hood

• Snooze alarm

• Free yoga class

• "Volume too high"

• Bitcoin opportunities, 2013

• Sock under bed

• Bad dream

• Brown banana

• Bitcoin opportunities, 2018

• Freezer burn

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• Lost glove

• Lint on mint

• Single cube in tray

• Yeast smell in shower

• Unmailed rebate

• Hole in pajamas

• Bed Bath & Beyond coupon

• "Did I lock the door?"

• Desire to nap, noon

• Desire to nap, 7 p.m.

• Walgreens survey

• Memory fog

• Stifled sob (spouse's)

• Stifled sob (own)

• Night terrors

• Nameless dread

• Fading slogan on mug

• It's Nice Out! Stay Inside, Kids!