(Not So) Bright Ideas

• Kevin Michael Cook, 24, of New Castle, Pennsylvania, was too drunk to drive on Sept. 3, so he enlisted the help of an 8-year-old girl. WPXI News reports the girl told Darlington Township police that Cook, a family friend, ordered her into a car at her grandmother's house and forced her to drive him toward East Palestine, Ohio. The car stopped after nearly wrecking twice, as bystanders called 911. Police tried to give Cook a sobriety test, but he was too impaired to finish it. He was charged with endangering the welfare of a child, driving under the influence and driving without a license. [WPXI News, 9/21/2017]

• Prosecutors in Geneva, Switzerland, are looking for the culprits who flushed about $100,000 in 500-euro notes down four toilets in the city in May -- one in the vault area of the UBS Bank, and the other three in nearby bistros. While neither throwing money away nor blocking a toilet is a crime, Vincent Derouand of the Geneva Prosecutor's Office told the Tribune de Geneve, "we want to be sure of the origin of the money." The cash was confiscated during the investigation, but Derouand said there was no immediate reason to think it was dirty money. [Tribune de Geneve via Reuters, 9/18/2017]