Jewish World Review Jan. 16, 2003 / 22 Teves, 5764
important news ....
Burger King unveiled a bunless Whopper Wednesday as a nod to
the Atkins Diet sweeping the nation. It's good news for the cattle
industry. Californians aren't scared by Mad Cow because if they
get a brain-wasting illness, who's going to notice?
The U.S. government ordered Los Angeles to spend $80 million
on new buses. Bus overcrowding was ruled a civil rights violation.
Californians are so fed up with illegal aliens that President Bush
couldn't carry this state if he legalized cocaine.
Bill Clinton arranged a deal with five medical testing
companies Wednesday to lower the costs of AIDS tests in poor
nations. What a humanitarian. He wants to assure people who are
frightened that if he can pass this test, anybody can pass it.
Carol Moseley Braun withdraw from the presidential race
Thursday. In Sunday's Iowa debate she chastised Al Sharpton for
being divisive. Carol Moseley Braun was becoming the voice of
reason and unity in the Democratic Party, so she had to go.
Democratic candidates face off Monday in the Iowa Caucus. It's a race between consultants trying to produce bigger and better idiot-proof strategies and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.
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