Libby Lazewnik's latest children's story reminds us of what we really can count on

Elky gazed at the bulletin board with eyes as bright as two new pennies. The announcement she'd just read made her heart beat fast. She had been waiting for this for a long time.

The new school year -- high school! -- had begun several weeks before and was every bit as fabulous as Elky had expected. But it wasn't until this moment, reading the notice, that she knew just how fabulous it could really be.

CLUB TRYOUTS! The sign blared. CHOIR, DANCE, DRAMA, ART... Opposite each club was posted a day of the week. Elky's eyes were glued to one club in particular. DANCE... WEDNESDAY. Next Wednesday afternoon, right after the last class of the day, she would go to the auditorium along with dozens of other nervous girls from every grade, to try out for the school's super-elite dance group.

Elky knew she could dance. When her eighth-grade class had put on a musical play in school last year, she had helped with the choreography and performed flawlessly in the dance routines they'd worked out. Everyone said she was a shoo-in for the high school dance group. But as she turned away from the bulletin board, she was aware of a certain sinking feeling inside -- the kind of feeling you get when you ride up a too-fast elevator. She was not at all sure of herself.

She might have shone in the eighth grade, but high school was different. For one thing, only two or three freshmen were ever accepted into the dance group. She'd be competing against lots of other girls. Who could guarantee that Tova Bremer, the super- talented senior who headed the Dance Club this year, would even notice her?

"It's her job to notice," Elky's best friend, Bassie, told her later as a group of walked home through a golden late afternoon. "Don't be so nervous, Elky. You've got just as good a chance of getting in as anyone else. Now I," she sighed, "might as well not even bother trying out."

"For what?" asked Tzippy.

"For anything. I've got two left feet, a voice like a frog, and I can't act for beans."

"You can draw, though," Elky said mechanically, her mind still on Tova Bremer and her chances of making the dance group.

"That's right," Rochel said. "Why don't you try out for the Art Club?"

Bassie shrugged. "Maybe I will. Not that I expect them to pay much attention to a lowly freshie. Next year I'll have a better chance."

"What does the Art Club do, anyway?" Tzippy asked.

"They decorate the halls with pictures and posters. And when the school puts on a play, it's the Art Club that draws the scenery and helps get the props set up right. Things like that." Despite herself, Bassie's eagerness came through.

"Sounds interesting," Tzippy said doubtfully. "Well, I'm going to try out for choir. I figure if I'm really nervous, I'll just pretend I'm at home singing zemiros. So what do you think I should sing at the audition?"

The discussion that followed caught up the other girls, but Elky didn't take much part. She was absorbed in visions of the future, which right now consisted largely of one particular hour next Wednesday afternoon... She waved an absent-minded good-bye to the others at her corner and continued unseeingly up the block to her house.

As she turned into her front door, she nearly ran into her big sister, Dina.

"Oops -- sorry!" Elky gasped. "I didn't see you."

"That much is obvious," Dina grinned. There was another girl with her. "Come on, Nechama. We'd better crack those books."

Dina and Nechama were seniors. For three years now, Elky's big sister had regaled the family with tales of her high-school adventures. For three years, Elky had been longing to join that exciting world. Well, she'd done it. She'd arrived... or almost. Only when she saw her name posted up on the bulletin board as part of the glamorous dance group would she really feel she'd made it.

Nechama was invited to stay for supper. The girls' talk revolved around the club auditions next week. Dina, head of the Guitar Club this year, complained for a while about the difficulty of choosing only twelve out of a some fifty candidates for the Club.

"Nechama," Elky asked Dina's classmate shyly, "are you head of anything this year?"

"The Chesed Committee. But since that's on a purely volunteer basis, there are no tryouts." Nechama grinned. "Lucky me."

"Planning to try for anything, Elky?" Dina asked. She'd suddenly remembered that her little sister was in high school, too.

"Yes. The dance group." Elky felt her face flaming with one of her uncontrollable blushes. She reached for the salad bowl and began shoveling piles of salad she didn't really want onto her plate. "But I'm sure I don't have a chance."

"Why not? You dance pretty well."

"Because they only accept two freshies, that's why -- or three, tops. Tons of girls will be trying out along with me. Why should Tova Bremer notice me specially?"

"Want me to tell her to keep an eye on you?" Nechama asked casually. "Pass the salad, please, if you're done with it."

In a trance, Elky handed her the bowl. "D-do you know Tova well?"

"Well?" Nechama laughed. "She's only my best friend. Has been since the fifth grade. There's no one who has more pull with Tova than me, that's for sure."

Elky stared at her, speecless. Nechama picked a few tomatoes out of the salad bowl and placed them delicately on her plate. "Well? Want me to drop a word in her ear?"

"C-could you? That would be wonderful!"

"Sure thing." Nechama twinkled at her slyly. "You do dance well, don't you? I don't want Tova getting mad at me for wasting her time."

Elky cast an imploring look at her big sister, who laughed.

"Sure, she dances fine. Elky, would you stop looking as though you've swallowed a moose? It's no big deal. You have just as good a chance of making the group as anyone else."

"That's what Bassie said." Elky lasped into a blissful silence. For the remainder of the meal she was lost in a reverie from which all trace of her former worry was gone. She was still a little nervous -- after all, she did have to audition -- but she had lost her fear of being overlooked in the crowd. Tova Bremer would be watching her specially. Elky was as good as in already. Nechama had promised.

Sunday was the day when Elky and her friends got together -- to study, talk, do homework, talk, go window-shopping, talk, and talk some more. On this particular Sunday at Bassie's house, the conversation, naturally, was all of the upcoming club tryouts.

Bassie had decided to try out for the Art Club after all, and spent most of the afternoon frantically sketching on every scrap of paper she could lay hands on. Tzippy was a bundle of nerves about her choir audidion. Approximately every ten minutes throughout the day, she burst into song -- a different one each time. "What do you think of that one?" she demanded after each. "How'd I sound?"

Rochel had her heart set on joining the Drama Club. "Give me my cue," she begged the others from time to time. "Just give me my cue and let me read my audition part one more time, okay?" By the end of the day, Elky and her friends were heartily sick of hearing those lines.

"You'll be fine," Elky said when Rochel had finished reciting them for the fiftieth time. "You'll be fine," she told Tzippy after the twentieth song. "You'll be fine," she assured Bassie when presented with yet another sketch scrawled on the back of her homework.

"What's with you, Elky?" Bassie asked suddenly. "Why aren't you nervous? You are trying out for the dance club, aren't you?"

"Sure I'm trying out." Elky hesitated. Should she tell them?

In the end, she compromised by waiting till the others had left and then confiding in her best friend.

"Bassie, you'll never guess what happened! My sister brought a classmate home from school. Her name's Nechama, and she's Tova Bremer's best friend! Nechama said she'll tell Tova about me and ask her to specially watch me during the audition!"

Bassie looked up from a complicated scene she was attempting to draw on the back of a napkin and said, "That's great, Elky. Now all you have to concentrate on is dancing well -- and we both know you can do that."

Elky blushed and beamed. "Well, I'm going to try my best, anyway."

Bassie went back to her drawing, chewing her lip in concentration. Elky looked at her pityingly. In her heart of hearts, she knew she'd make the dance group, now that Tova would have her eye on her Wednesday. Elky felt a million miles high.

On her way home, on an impulse, she stopped off at a novelty store to buy a cute little "Thank-you" statuette for Nechama. She had it gift-wrapped and stored it carefully in the drawer of her desk at home.

She figured she'd give it to Nechama right after the club lists were posted, Thursday afternoon.

On Monday, Rochel auditioned for the drama club. On Tuesday, Tzippy finally made a wild, last-minute choice and tried out for choir. Bassie's Art Club trial was the same afternoon. And on Wednesday, Elky joined about forty other girls, dancing in a huge circle under the critical gaze of Tova Bremer.

The others waited for Elky and they all walked home together.

"How'd it go?" Bassie asked.

"Fine. No problem." Elky had sailed through the audition, secure in the knowledge that Nechama had paved the way for her. She was wreathed in rosy visions of her first dance rehearsal -- the casual banter with the older girls who made up that exclusive group -- the first major performance...

"I can't bear the suspense," Tzippy moaned. "I wish they would have told me right on the spot: 'Sorry, kid. You didn't make it.' At least that way, I'd be sleeping nights."

"That's exactly the way I feel," Rochel declared. "Don't you, Elky?"

"Oh? Ah," Elky said vaguely. "I guess."

"What's with you?" Rochel asked. "Don't you even care about whether or not you made the dance group?"

Elky smiled dreamily. "Oh, I care all right." Bassie looked at her sharply, an anxious look in her eye. Elky smiled again, and changed the subject.

At supper that night Dina forgot to ask her how the audition had gone. Elky didn't remind her. There'd be time enough for congratulations tomorrow, after the results were posted at school.

"I made it! I made it!" Bassie capered madly before the bulletin board, much to the amusement of the upperclassmen milling around nearby. "I made the Art Club. Whoopee!"

A couple of other freshmen wore equally jubilant faces as they drank in the glorious lists that contained their names. Tzippy and Rochel, by contrast, were matter-of-factly dejected.

"Oh, well," Tzippy sighed. "I didn't really expect to get in. There's always next year!"

Rochel's disappointment was keener, or else she wasn't as good at concealing it. "I really thought I read that part well. I would've loved to be in the play this year."

"Cheer up," Tzippy said sympathetically. "We're all in the same boat. Except for Bassie, of course."

Despite herself, Rochel brightened. "Good old Bassie! She was so sure she'd flop. But she really does draw very well."

"Hey," Tzippy said suddenly. "What about Elky?"

"Yeah," Bassie said, stopping her capering and coming close. "What about Elky? Did she make the dance group?"

"I think she ran down to the bulletin board before any of us," Rochel said slowly. "But she's nowhere around now."

The three looked at each other.

"Let's check," Bassie said.

They moved over to the bulletin board. The dance group list was posted right in the center.

And Elky's name was not on it.

Vaguely, through the fog of misery that enveloped her, Elky heard her mother calling. "Elky! E-e-el-ky! Phone for you!"

She didn't want to talk to anyone. But if she didn't get the phone her mother would want to know why, and then there would be uncomfortable explanations, and Elky would cry and her mother would try to comfort her, and undoubtedly Dina would find out and get in on the act, and everyone would pity Elky, and she couldn't bear that. So she heaved herself out of her bed, did her best to rub away the telltale tears from her cheeks, and shuffled down the hall to the phone.

"Hullo?"

"Elky, is that you? You sound funny."

"Oh, hi, Bassie. I'm fine," she sniffled.

"Elky... We saw the dance list. I'm really sorry."

"Yeah. Thanks." Elky bit her lip very hard to keep the tears from flooding back.

"If it's any consolation, you're in good company. Tzippy and Rochel didn't make the clubs they wanted, either."

Elky stood straighter. "Tzippy and Rochel? What about you?"

"I made it! I actually made the Art Club, Elky! Can you believe it?"

It was the moment when Elky, as Bassie's best friend, should have said in ringing tones, "Of course I believe it. You're a terrific artist and you deserve to be in the Art Club. I'm sure you'll do a great job this year."

Instead, she was silent for one shocked moment. Then she snarled into the phone, "Well, how nice for you."

"Elky! You sound weird. Are you mad at me or something?"

Elky said nothing.

"Look, I'm really sorry you didn't make it. Tova Bremer must have had a reason. Maybe she --"

"You don't have to feel sorry for me! I don't need your pity!" Elky slammed down the receiver. Then she whirled around and, with eyes blinded by the unstoppable tears, groped her way to her room and her bed.

The pillow, damp before, became really soaked now.

Nechama happened to be studying with Dina again that night. Elky was careful to avoid her most of the evening, but by an unlucky chance she happened to run into her in the kitchen, where Nechama had gone to get a drink.

"Oh, hi, Elky," Nechama greeted her airily. "How's life?"

"Great." Her blotchy skin and swollen eyes said otherwise, but Nechama wasn't looking very closely. The senior reached for the orange juice. "So how'd club auditions go? Try out for anything?"

Elky stared at her. "I... tried out for the dance club. You remember -- we talked about it last week."

"We did?" Nechama paused in the act of pouring herself a cup of juice. "Oh, that's right, I remember now."

"You said..." Elky swallowed. "You said you'd mention my name to Tova Bremer. You said you'd tell her to watch me, special."

Nechama's eyes widened in dismay. She clapped a hand to her forehead. "That's right -- I did! Oh, Elky, I'm really sorry. The whole thing slipped my mind!" She peered narrowly at the younger girl. "You... tried out?"

"I tried out," Elky said dully. "And I didn't make it."

"Oh, I'm really sorry," Nechama was contrite. "I really am."

Elky nodded stiffly and walked rapidly out of the room. For one thing, she was getting heartily sick of the words, "I'm sorry." And, for another, she was in a hurry to get back to her room. She felt another good cry coming on...

Elky wasn't speaking to Bassie the next day, but neither Tzippy nor Rochel noticed. When the two came over to Elky at recess she was cold to them, but they didn't notice that either -- at first.

"Too bad about the dance group, Elky," Tzippy murmured. She seemed to have gotten over her disappointment about the choir.

"Yeah. Join the masses of the unwanted," Rochel quipped. She, too, had regained her composure overnight and was philosophical about being turned down for the Drama Club. "Nobody wants our talents. We're the great horde at the bottom of the pile, gazing adoringly at the lucky ones at the top..."

"Speak for yourself," Elky snapped.

Rochel looked at her, startled. Tzippy said, "Elky, we were just trying to comfort you. We all know how much you wanted to make the dance group. So we just --"

"Oh, I wish you'd all leave me alone." Elky stalked off to a remote corner of the playground, where she sulked in grand isolation until the bell rang the end of recess.

Lunchtime was awkward, with Bassie's drooping face and Tzippy and Rochel's hurt, bewildered ones. Elky felt rotten. She had pushed away all her friends -- and why? Because she was envious of Bassie's good fortune, that's why. She didn't want to be part of the unwanted masses. She wanted to be one of the lucky ones -- the ones who danced glamorously through life, the object of other people's admiration. Not their pity...

She was miserable. She was humiliated. Most of all, she was angry. But it wasn't until the middle of math class that she suddenly realized just whom she was really angry at.

It wasn't Bassie. It wasn't Tzippy or Rochel. She was burningly, furiously, angry with Nechama. Nechama had promised her something and then forgotten all about it. How could she?

But most of all, she realized during History, she was mad at herself -- for counting on Nechama's help in the first place.

"Sure thing," Nechama had said lightly, when Elky had asked if she'd put in a good word for her with Tova. And Elky had counted on that. That had been her mistake.

If she'd really wanted to make the dance group, there were other things she should have done. She could have practiced her steps. She could have said tehillim. What she should not have done was rely on someone who'd made glib promises to pull special strings for her. That might help sometimes, but it wasn't what really counted. Pull or no pull, Elky had to face one bald, painful fact: If she'd been really good enough for the dance group, she would have made it.

Bassie left school quickly that afternoon, along with Tzippy and Rochel. Elky walked home alone, but she wasn't lonely. She felt strangely peaceful. She was still disappointed -- bitterly so -- but there was a new calm in her heart. She'd practice hard this year and try out again as a sophomore. Meanwhile, there was something she wanted to do right now.

The minute she got home, she ran upstairs and fetched the gift-wrapped statuette from its drawer. It took her only a few minutes more to run over and deliver it in person.

"For me?" Bassie looked disbelieving. Slowly she unwrapped the statuette. "Thank you," she read. She looked up. "For what?"

"For being my friend," Elky said simply. "And for forgiving me for acting like such a creep last night and today."

Bassie grinned.

Elky asked anxiously, "You do forgive me, don't you? We're still best friends?"

The grin broadened. "Sure thing," Bassie said.

And that was one promise Elky knew she could rely on.