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Jewish World Review Dec. 21, 2001 / 6 Teves, 5762

Julia Gorin

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COPYCATS!

http://www.jewishworldreview.com -- IS it possible that there is no distinct historical suffering that Muslims as a people, and Palestinians specifically, can lay claim to-aside from that done them by other Muslims? Or else why would they insist on borrowing others' brands of adversity, calling a clover a spade and using terminology that doesn't apply to their circumstances?

They call their plight a "holocaust;" they refer to Muslims in the "Diaspora;" Jerusalem is their holy city; they demand "the right of return;" and some time only in the last 30 years they discovered a national identity and began a struggle for a Palestinian "homeland."

Imitation may be the highest form of flattery, but when the audience buys it as the real thing, it's a con.

Really-what a bunch of copycats! They can't figure out their own identity, and so resort to knocking off the history of others. They don't stop at stealing their Jewish rivals' material. They've gone on to borrow from people of African heritage, claiming that the U.S. carries out "discriminatory" and "racist" policies toward the Muslim world and treats Arabs the way it once treated slaves on its shores, as one Egyptian writer put it.

Then, when someone tries to bestow a description that is distinctly appropriate to them, they decline it and attribute it back to him, now rejecting terminology rather than usurping it. For example: terrorists

"No-you're terrorists!"
You have no respect for human life.
"No, the U.S. has no respect for human life."
But you're the ones who started all the-
"No-you started!"

Talk about having a monopoly on suffering-you can't win with these guys. Or is it 'lose'?

There's more. America is apparently a "rogue state," with "no regard for international law or basic human rights." The U.S., whose business it is to "impose hegemony," "violates and terrorizes" much of the world. It is a den of "bias" and "blind fanaticism" while its Israeli ally is an "occupier" that "kills children" and the Palestinian people in general, who are "oppressed." Depending on whom you ask, Israel is either the most racist, aggressive and oppressive "regime" in the world, or the second most.

Taliban leader Mulla Omar tells us that our government is "perpetrating" all sorts of "atrocities" in Muslim countries-that we should reconsider its "wrong and cruel" policies, the recent "sad event" in the U.S. having been meant to "avenge this cruelty."

Speaking to us in our own humanitarian jargon, they use it to extort sympathy from the Western world that originated it. Imagine us responding to the Japanese attack in 1941 and the Japanese calling us racists for it. Or us going after Hitler and him calling us hegemonic. Who would have fallen for this back then?

But today the world is actually buying it. Remember how we watched Kosovo go from 10 percent Serb to 0 percent Serb and believed that the Albanians were being "cleansed" and "exterminated" in that "genocide?"

While the United States, whom "history won't even recall," is "the murderer of humanity" and "creator of the barbaric culture," according to some Palestinian literati, Iraq is the "cradle of civilization."

This sentiment was echoed in Greece, where protesters marched against our "imperialist" war and called Americans "murderers of peoples." Their Muslim counterparts in Indonesia implored that the world save itself from "Global Terrorism" and drag Bush to an international tribunal for "war crimes."

Picking up the ball, the easily fooled Left all over the Western world takes to lecturing us on "tolerance" and protesting "George bin Bush" (since in this "slaughter in Afghanistan," even as we take every precaution to avoid injuring a hair on a single Muslim civilian's head, the fact that we could conceivably, by accident hurt one, makes us just as bad).

They refer to our "fascist foreign policy;" a playwright named Pinter says it is "President Bush who is fanning the flames of intolerance;" Gore Vidal writes a book citing our "new totalitarianism" and warning that retaliation is "suicidal" and bin Laden is "brilliant." University professors accuse the U.S. of committing "atrocities," "terrorism" and "crimes against humanity." Some Arabic intelligentsia couldn't agree more, since the U.S. is "the most dangerous and powerful global force unleashing horrific levels of violence," its foreign policy "soaked in blood" because it is "bloodthirsty, vengeful and calling for blood." College students, "scared" of the American flag that is a symbol of "hate," want us to apologize to all "victims" of the American imperialism that is responsible for much of the "pain and suffering in the world," because the United States has helped continue "a spree of genocide" that dates back to 1492. They want our "autocratic government" to stop this "racist war" and call off our "murderous military apparatus" so we can concentrate instead on battling the "institutionalized violence within this country." Finally, the Socialist Party-USA insists the world can be made safe for democracy by not fighting those trying to destroy it.

According to many on the Arab street, the Jews were behind the September attacks, while other lofty circles maintain it was America itself-because, as one Egyptian student informs, "[Americans] are capable of killing their own people to prove they're right." And that's because, according to a cab driver in Cairo, America, who "has us by the throat, has forgotten that G-d exists." The Muslim people, on the other hand, are "defending their way of life."

Throwing his two cents in, the good Minister Farrakhan defended the September 11th Palestinian street celebrations because the Palestinians have "sustained injustice since 1948." Meanwhile, ubiquitous "scholar" Edward Said championed them as "an unarmed defenseless population" whose attacks on Israeli soldiers and civilians constitute "resistance."

Joining these ranks, honorary Arab Colin Powell in February demanded that Israel lift its "siege" on the Palestinians, and later thanked Yasser Arafat for a commitment to do everything possible to end the violence.

Then, with every successive attack on Israel, Israel is accused of "killing the peace process" and increasing "tension and instability in the Middle East." For which, warned Syrian Foreign Minister Farouk al-Sharaa, Israel "will pay a heavy price." Which is another favorite device: Vowing consequences for the consequences. It's a clever technique to help create confusion about who started. Of course, we know that they did.

"No--you did!"

The foreign minister also said he would be happy to help combat terrorism as long as such an operation doesn't "overlook" rooting out the expansionist Israeli usurpation of that disputed part of the one-tenth of one percent of Middle East land, which is "the highest level of terrorism." Israel, of course, being a society "more racist than Nazism," according to Syrian "President" Bashar Assad. Indeed it is so, found an Egyptian "newspaper," which reported that the "crimes" of the Jews are "worse" than the crimes of Nazi Germany, because the Nazi Regime lasted only six years as compared to Israel's 50 years of existence, which in itself is a "crime."

The recent suicide bombings in Israel were a "retaliation" for the "terrorist Zionists attacks," said one Gaza Strip Hamas leader, referring to Israel's targeted assassinations, which are "cowardly." Not like the suicide bombers, who are "brave" and "heroic." The blood of their people, by the way, "is not cheap."

"Brigadier General" Amin al-Hindi, chief of Palestinian security intelligence, has told the CIA that Hamas and Islamic Jihad are not "terrorist groups" but organizations "resisting military occupation" and fighting for "liberation." In fact, the PA has advised the U.S. that Israel is leading a "propaganda campaign" to "incite" Americans against Palestinians.

Then, every time Israeli settlers are killed in their cars by Palestinian snipers, Arafat claims his people are suffering from the "crimes" of the dead settlers. And he calls on the United Nations to "defend Palestinians" and exert pressure on Israel to halt its "continuing violence."

So Israel offers up more land than even Oslo imagined, only to discover that "peace offering" apparently translates as "war cry" in Arabic, thereby setting off more violence and once again dashing the world's hopes for peace. For which it pays a price: Israeli soldiers thrown from windows and dragged through the Arab streets so the world can witness the pain of the Palestinian "struggle."

All this is evidence that Prime Minister Ariel Sharon "doesn't know anything except war, killing and slaughter," according to Egyptian "President" Hosni Mubarek, who concludes that Israel is the "true dictatorship," where "the verdicts of the judiciary are not implemented" and "human rights do not exist." So he doesn't appreciate Western "attacks" projecting such dictatorial tactics onto him of all people.

Furthermore, he assures that neither Libya nor Syria harbors "terrorists," just like, according to Hamas, bin Laden does not practice "terrorism." Instead, it's the Zionist enemy who is "the terrorist," and the Palestinian people are the ones "who are burned by the fire of this terror."

Speaking of bin Laden, he does what he does for the "protection" of Muslims, and he will not rest until every Muslim is "safe," insisting that the U.S. is fighting a war not against terrorism but against Islam. The Great Satan against the meek martyr.

It's time to fight fire with fire. As we continue seeking out Chief Infidel Osama bin Laden, Chief Mufti George W. Bush should announce that a religious war is being waged against our Judeo-Christian society, which is under siege by Islamic imperialists. It is not merely the perpetrators of liberty, democracy and charity whom we may be harboring that are under attack. It is all of Western religion. And we will not allow all Jews and Christians to be tarred with the brush of freedom and justice. Our respective gods command us to defend our way of life, and so we have declared a jihad. Let all American peoples understand that not Hindus, not atheists, not Buddhists nor pagans are safe from the fire of the Islamic terror, which seeks to uproot the whole of the non-Muslim world.

As Imam Rumsfeld continues to update us on the state of our jihad, let our fatwah be clear: We have been strong and more successful than you because the lands of Arabia have had the cunning and deliberate intention of making us so. Our superior situation is your fault, and it will be rectified by war. That is, a peace offering that you can understand.

In the midst of all the oppression and suffering imposed upon populations by your governments, we have been made to feel marginalized from the rest of the world. We feel left out of this trend toward poverty, starvation and violence. Your people are content while ours are malcontent. It's a humiliation. We will put an end to the embarrassing exodus of our best minds, like John Walker, who seek refuge in repression and opportunity for martyrdom. Further, we resent the pitas, hummus, halvah and saffron rice-all your junk food-encroaching on our shores. And we are tired of Muslims controlling the media and cultural images throughout the world; we will end this embargo on our culture and the imposing of your non-Western ideals on everyone.

In our effort to feel that we are in control of our lives and our destiny, and not just part of some exported, homogenized culture of oppression, we are engaging in this justifiable jihad. We are fighting for pride.

If we have been weakened recently, it is because the people have abandoned their faith. So let our churches and synagogues ring out with cries that Mecca is the not-so-Great Satan, and let a Christmas tree and menorah be mounted atop the White House, hereafter to be known as the White Temple. And let it be known that it is the duty of every American 'round the globe to rise up and defend our honor against arrogant Islam. For we are a proud people, disciples of the Founding Prophets, and our moon is rising. The myth of the indestructible United States of Islam is exposed; the destruction of the Islamic era of domination approaches.

If there is no room for us, then there is no room for anyone! If there is to be tyranny in this world, it shall be the tyranny of liberty. You've been left to your own devices long enough. It's time now for your people to feel the wrath of democracy. Heaven has cleared the path for our militant liberators and democratic extremists to humble the arrogant world of sinners and unbelievers, whose bullying and manipulation of us has seen its last day.

One day you will submit, as Islam by definition commands, but to the dictates of freedom. Keep in mind, however, that the Koran allows for believers to renege on contracts and agreements with non-believers, so it's possible that any official surrender or treaty will have little meaning in the long run.

Western fundamentalism is destined to triumph everywhere. Accept no imitations.



JWR contributor Julia Gorin is a journalist and stand-up comic residing in Manhattan. Send your comments by clicking here.

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© 2001, Julia Gorin