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Jewish World Review Nov. 13, 2000 / 15 Mar-Cheshvan, 5761
http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
WORRY DAMAGES a person’s
spirituality by preoccupying
his or her mind with
depressing thoughts. And it
destroys happiness by obscuring
the good in one’s life.
When you worry, you make
yourself a prisoner of your
own imagination. You turn a
problem that’s two months or
even two years down the road
into a problem that eats at
you all day, every day. Worry
is a habit of thought, and like
any other habit, it can be
broken. It all depends on how
you choose to think about it...
COPING WITH THE
PRESENT PROVES
To break free of worry, it
is key to recognize and be
aware of your own ability to
cope. If you have managed
thus far to tolerate other set-backs
and troubles in your
life, you have already proven
that you can cope with what
comes your way.
Two simple mental exercises
will help: First, think of
a time when you faced a
difficult situation. Replay in
your mind how you adapted
and how you survived the
problem. Second, think of
someone you know who --
faced with exactly what you
are now facing -- got past the
initial trauma and went on to
live a normal, successful life.
Just as replaying your
fears of the future can weaken
and frighten you, replaying
past instances in which
you’ve coped successfully can
strengthen you and give you
confidence. The more you do
these mental exercises, the
stronger your power to cope
will become.
ACCEPTING THE POTENTIAL
OUTCOMES OF A But
nobody worries
about
something they
don't fear. So,
one way to rid
yourself of worry
is to bring yourself
to the
point where
you don't fear
the potential outcomes of
your problem, because
you've considered the worst
case, and accepted it. Once
you imagine the worst and
visualize how you'll be able
to accept it, then there's
nothing left to worry about.
You're free.
For example, many worries
revolve around incurring
others' disapproval.
Imagine that everyone you
know is disappointed in
you. Visualize their expressions,
imagine their words,
and accept it. It's unpleasant,
but you can now think
past it. Chazal, our Sages, say that when
you accept your situation,
no matter how dire, it will
lose its power to break you;
it will elevate you instead.
Adapted from "Gateway to Happiness,"
with permission from
the author, Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
Personal Growth
REALLY HAPPY
The
Torah tells us that we should
-- in fact we must -- strive
always to be b'simchah, happy. Yet,
illness, grief and disappointment
touch each and
every life. So how is this
continual state of simchah
supposed to be maintained?
The answer is, by understanding
what joy really
is. Contrary to popular
belief, it doesn't mean you
always feel like dancing.
The Talmud tells us that a
person is supposed to praise
the Creator, b'simchah, in
adversity just as in good
times. Rashi, the foremost biblical and Talmudic commentator, explains that
in this instance, simchah
means "with a complete
heart." A person, who
accepts the Creator's judgment,
even when it is
painful to him, shows faith
in the ultimate goodness
and justice of G-d's plan.
From the human perspective,
suffering conflicts with
our belief that G-d is
good. Adversity doesn't
look, sound or feel good.
But with a sense of simchah,
we trust that the good is
there, at a level we can't
understand. Scientific breakthroughs
have proven that
our idea of reality is limited
by what we know. For
instance, there were two
chemicals that,
when combined,
would
simply not
blend
together.
But when
scientists
brought those
same chemicals
into outer space, outside the
range of gravity, they blended
completely. Of course,
there was no way of knowing
this until man achieved
the ability to travel in space.
In the same way, events
that seem to conflict with
the concept of His
kindness, when seen from
another level, are perfectly
harmonious with it. We
only see conflict because
our human intellect doesn't
comprehend the higher
reality. But by having a firm
trust in this concept, we can
cope with what comes our
way and fulfill the Torah's
directive to live each
moment of the life G-d
has given us, filled with true
simchah.
Adapted from “Let Us Make Man,”
by Rabbi Abraham Twerski, with
permission from CIS
Thinking Your Way Out
YOU CAN COPE WITH THE FUTURE
If you analyze the components
of a problem, you will
see that it actually has two
parts: the challenge itself and
the worry about the challenge.
When you worry, your
mind takes hold of a problem,
follows it to its worst possible
conclusion, paints the future
black, and replays this imagined
misery in your mind
over and over again.
PROBLEM DEFEATS THE POWER OF WORRY
Worry is fear of something
that hasn't happened
yet, something we believe
will cause us an unacceptable
level of distress. This
fear actually makes the
problem
worse by crippling
our ability
to seek
solutions.
Chosen Words, a newsletter of spiritual and personal growth, is produced by the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation. Comment by clicking here.
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