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At 'improv' comedy competition, laughs are franchised

http://www.jewishworldreview.com | (KRT) Imagine this: You're a Hawaiian leprechaun tormented by your Marine drill-sergeant dad. Or this: You're taking swings in a batting cage - and you have to compose and sing an aria about it.

You've got just seconds to get your act together. Oh, and you'll be performing before a live audience of maybe 250 in a downtown Washington basement.

Welcome to the world of the DC Improv comedy club and the 16th Annual ComedySportz National Tournament.

Let's have a big hand for the 120 comedians and wannabe comedians who spent last week and weekend competing for. … All the Marbles. (A jar of marbles, really.)

The contestants hail from ComedySportz, a franchise of improvisation troupes in places such as (drumroll, please) Philadelphia, Los Angeles, Chicago, Houston, Dallas and San Jose, Calif.

But first, heeeere's Todd "Nobody Does It" Etter, 36, a stay-at-home dad from Washington who makes "mockumentaries" about improv.

Right now, Etter's moonwalking across the stage wearing a ref's striped shirt and blowing his whistle like an incensed traffic cop. Hip-hop music blares.

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It's big-time competition: Philadelphia vs. San Jose.

"Let's get ready to rumble!" Etter screams.

Enter the rabble, most with giggly nicknames. From Philadelphia, there's Karen "That's What You" Getz. Among her teammates are Danna "14-Karat" Goldthwaite and Don "The Full" Montrey. San Jose, which doesn't seem to have stretched so hard nickname-wise, offers Jeff "TV's" Kramer, Steve "The In" Seidler, etc.

All strike poses and wave to what Etter calls the "loyal fans": humans the performers can barely see behind the lights.

The first challenge is a four-minute round of Continuation! (Audience picks topic. Philly starts skit. San Jose picks up skit when Etter blows whistle. Switches continue.)

Philly ends up deep in the weeds on the topic of obsessed stamp collectors, musing about a rare eagle-headed buffalo stamp. Celebrity judges, whom few on Earth would recognize, give San Jose the round.

Next up: Talk Radio! An audience volunteer jumps onstage to be a radio guest for host "TV's" Kramer of San Jose. His teammates pretend to be ludicrous callers.

Then: Shakespeare! Half of the laughs come from incomprehension as players render scenes in Elizabethan English.

In the finale, jeering, sneering, teeth-grinding rival teams play Story! The players line up and, when Etter points at them, pick up the developing shaggy-dog story in midsentence, sometimes even in midsyllable.)

Philly wins somehow. Or so the judges say. The audience goes wild. The San Jose team growls, attacks and upends "The Full" Montrey. "TV's" Kramer goes for Etter. "14-Karat" Goldthwaite claps and hugs emotional teammates.

Oh, and they do it all in slow motion.

Improv teaches lessons for life, Philly team member Bobbi "Mental" Block, 39, a teacher and corporate trainer in her day job, explained afterward.

"You can't be thinking about what you just said, or what the past was. You can't be planning the rest. All you can do is play it from moment to moment."

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