If the Divine is all knowing then why am I telling Him my problems? He already knows them. If the Divine is all-good then why am I asking for Him to change my situation?
At first glance prayer seems to be about whining and
begging G od, "Please heal this person … please bring
me my soul-mate … please help my business, etc."
One could mistakenly think that G od is holding out on
us and gets pleasure watching us grovel.
When we are faced with some very serious problems,
it is customary to ask others to join together in our
prayers. What is that all about? It seems as if we
hope to move G od through force: "G od, if you don't
respond to my prayers, then I will recruit through the
e-mail thousands of others to pray."
Do we think these strategies really work? What are
we actually doing here? If G od is all knowing then
why am I telling Him my problems? He already knows
them. If G od is good then why am I asking for Him to
change my situation? Obviously whatever happens to
me is for my best and I should just trust G od.
To appreciate what we are actually doing when we
pray, we have to examine what prayer really means.
First, we have to understand that in Judaism we do
not pray. Prayer is an English word. What Jews do is
l'hispallel.
L'hispallel is a unique experience, but as with
most Jewish things today, this holy word has been
changed into an English word with a western
connotation. The word "prayer" actually comes from
the Latin word meaning "to beg" exactly what
most people feel prayer is. They imagine a big king in
the sky who is getting a big ego boost from watching
his subjects beg. This is a terrible image of our selves
and of G od.
L'hispallel has nothing to do with begging G od
to change His mind. L'hispallel is a reflexive
verb and it means to do something to your self, not
to G od. When you are praying, your question should
not be, "Is G od listening to my prayers?" For sure he
is. What you should really ask yourself is, "Am I
listening to my prayers? Does what I say impact me?
Have I changed?"
If you are under the impression that praying is
communicating to G od information that He does not
already know, then the whole prayer experience
becomes ridiculous. G od knows that your business is
falling apart. G od knows that you desperately want
your soul-mate. G od knows exactly what is going on
in your life. L'hispallel is not about G od hearing
your prayer. It is about you hearing your prayers.
You need to say these things to G od not because He
need to hear them but because you need to hear
yourself saying them to G od.
L'hispallel means to do something to your self.
Exactly what you are doing is pallel-ing
yourself. And what exactly is that? We see the word
palel in the story of Jacob and Joseph. When
Joseph learns that his father Jacob is nearing his
death, he goes to his father for a blessing for his two
children. Jacob says, "I never palel-ti that I
would ever see your face again, and G od has granted
me to even see the face of your children." What do
you think the term means here? I never hoped…? I
never imagined…? I never dreamed…? I never
anticipated?
The great 11th century Torah commentator Rashi
explains the verse to mean, "I never would have filled
my heart to think the thought that I would ever see
your face again." Therefore, when we
l'hispallel, we are actively, intentionally trying
to fill our hearts, to think the thoughts, to dream the
dreams of what it is that we want to see and do in
this world and then change ourselves in order to
make these things happen. It is not G od whom we
are trying to change. It is ourselves and our
relationship to G od we are trying to change through
prayer. If we change ourselves, we change our whole
situation.
Please do not misunderstand this important principle.
L'hispallel does not mean to meditate and talk
to yourself as if you could ever make things happen
for your self without G od. Of course, G od listens to
our prayers and answers but we are not trying to
change G od's mind we are trying to change
ourselves.
If you pray in order to change G od's mind, then,
please for G od's sake, don't pray. We don't want to
change G od's mind. And thank G od we can't change
G od's mind because G od has made up His mind long
time ago. G od only and always loves us and seeks to
give us the greatest good. As Psalmist praised, "His
compassion (unconditional love) is upon all His
creatures."
Of course, G od hears our prayers and answers but He
is waiting for us to hear our prayers
and mean them. Prayer is not passive, it is proactive.
Through prayer we must inspire ourselves to take
action and make changes within ourselves, our
community and the world. When we change
ourselves for the good we let G od's never-changing
love for us and His abundant blessings become
manifest in our lives. The more we praise G od and
acknowledge that He is the source of all blessings
and truly want those blessings in our lives the more
G od's blessings flow into our lives.
Prayer is not about changing G od's mind. G od's mind
is steadfast. He only and always loves us and wants
to shower us with His blessings. Prayer is about
changing our selves. Prayer is about attuning our will
to G od's will and making our selves receptive to
receive His loving presence and blessings into our
lives. G od is waiting to hear from us and invite Him
into our lives.
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(Comment, please, below.)
Adapted from Seeing G od: Ten Life-Changing Lessons of the Kabbalah
JWR contributor
Rabbi David Aaron is the founder and dean of Isralight, an international organization with programming in Israel, New York South Florida, Philadelphia, Los Angeles and Toronto. He has taught and inspired thousands of Jews who are seeking meaning in their lives and a positive connection to their Jewish roots. He is the author of, most recently, Inviting G0D In, The Secret Life of G0D, and Endless Light: The Ancient Path of Kabbalah to Love, Spiritual Growth and Personal Power , Seeing G0D and Love is my religion. (Click on links to purchase books. Sales help fund JWR.) He lives in the old City of Jerusalem with his wife and their seven children.