In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review June 28, 2013/ 20 Tammuz, 5773

Marriage has long been blowing in the wind

By Betsy Hart

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | What with all the loud commentary surrounding this week's landmark Supreme Court rulings on gay marriage, let's be real: We've been changing our definition of marriage for a long time in this country.

For decades, heterosexual marriage itself has been morphing into an adult-centered/pleasure-based and transitory institution, as opposed to being about children, community and the ideal of lifelong sexual fidelity and commitment, no matter what. So impact on gay marriage aside, the high court's decisions may have ultimately been about playing catch-up with the culture when it comes to marriage as a whole.

Just days before the rulings were released, Meghan Laslocky spoke to this very change in her CNN.com piece, "Face it: Monogamy is Unnatural." Laslocky is author of "The Little Book of Heartbreak: Love Gone Wrong Through the Ages" (Plume/Penguin 2013). Her point is that it's not natural for a member of the animal kingdom to want to pair off, exclusively and for life, with the same partner. Our desire for sexual variety will often trump that, she says, so we need to find new ways for marriage to thrive with that understanding. She feels that observing how rare monogamy is among animals in general can guide our thinking about what is realistic for humans.

Laslocky, who herself has a husband and a son, wrote on CNN.com: "It's time for our culture to wake up and smell the sex pheromones: monogamy is not natural for many, or probably even most, humans."

I decided to find out a little more. I wondered about her own marriage, and what the rules were. Laslocky was very transparent with me, sharing via email: "To be honest, we (she and her husband) don't have the time to pursue serious romantic relationships with other people. That said, we both respect the fact that we have many years yet together, we don't know what the future holds and we have a deep and abiding respect for each other and the fact that relationships, even committed ones, are mutable." Laslocky explained to me that she and her husband did not promise fidelity to each other in their secular marriage ceremony, or that it would be lifelong.

Now that's a redefinition of marriage! At least, they were honest. What is true for their marriage, that it's "mutable," is true for how our culture views marriage. We are just typically not as forthcoming about it.

But the fact remains: In the U.S., marriage is increasingly fluid to the extent that it occurs at all, becoming what we feel it should be in the moment, versus being about something bigger -- children, community and lifelong commitment -- whatever our feelings might be.

This meets Laslocky's point -- that we need to be free to act on our instincts because that is "natural." But, of course, for most of us it's also "natural" to be selfish or to lie, or to yell at our kids. Thankfully, one of the many things separating mankind from animals is that we have the ability to (begin ital) abstain (end ital) from acting on our desires of the moment, for all sorts of good reasons, even when that's difficult.

Many of my like-minded friends support traditional, lifelong and fidelitous marriage -- and, yes, only between a man and a woman. They want it to remain understood as such because ultimately, they say, it's about what is best for children. Yes, the data is clear, that children thrive better when their parents are married and living together. When they have a mom and a dad and the different things men and women bring to parenting, together in one home. So when marriage in general becomes adult-/pleasure-based, as it has been for decades in our culture, many fewer couples will stay together and provide that for their children. We've watched this trend have devastating consequences.


But lifelong, committed, sexually faithful marriage, I'm convinced, also benefits the adults involved -- not least of all because it's not, well, "natural." It calls us to something so much better than our instincts and desires. It calls us to the giving, the sacrificing, the joy that come with such marriages. And it connects us to community in a way that just connecting "me" to "me" can't do.

The court decisions this week have wide-ranging implications for gay unions and for our culture. Understood. But in the midst of sorting this all out, it's important to recognize the larger trend in marriage. That, in many ways, the high court has just ratified what is already increasingly true of marriage in the U.S. in general: That whoever the participants, it's about "me" most of all.

In other words, those of us who really care about the demise of marriage in our culture will have to look far beyond this week's court decisions to save it.

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