In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review May 27, 2013/ 18 Sivan, 5773

Excited to go, sad to leave

By Betsy Hart

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | One of my children in particular shed some tears recently over our upcoming move. And that made me happy.

I'm not sadistic, so don't worry. (Yes, it made me a little sad, too.)

I've been writing lately about my family relocating to my new husband's home, soon to be our home, about 40 minutes away from where we live now. It's a big deal to us. We haven't moved often.

In the life of an adult, of course, a 40-minute drive isn't much when it comes to maintaining friendships. But in the life of a child, it's a fairly daunting obstacle to keeping relationships alive. We certainly plan on visits and overnights, but it won't be the same. There's no "Mom, can I go to so-and-so's house after rehearsal? Her mom will bring me home," or "Let's meet up before school tomorrow."

So while all of my children are excited about a new home in a new neighborhood and living with a stepdad they adore, there is sadness, too. This particular daughter knows that she will make many new friends, as she always does. But it's still hard for her to leave the ones she has now. I appreciate her maturity and that she is able to look at the whole picture, and clearly see and articulate the tapestry of emotions she is going through all at the same time. The excitement and the sadness.

This is not particularly newsworthy; don't get me wrong. After all, few kids want to move. The question for me is, how do we respond to any such loss in our children's lives?

Well, how do we respond to it in ours?

So often in our culture today we fear any kind of grief. We so desperately want to get over a loss and get back to comfort and feeling "good" about things. We want to find ways around grief, or medicate ourselves through grief. We especially lament the very idea of disappointment or loss in our children's lives.

I'm not suggesting we go looking for sadness, and, anyway, we don't have to. It will find us. And yes, I'm speaking as someone who definitely has "happiness" and being positive as an automatic set point in my life. But the positive side of grief is that it tells us the thing lost was important to us. It mattered. It's in our hearts. We connected with it, or him, or her. Having those attachments is what makes us human.

And so my daughter's tears tell me that her life here was good and significant -- and that is what makes me happy.

We came to this home not quite nine years ago now, just after suddenly finding out we would be a single-parent family. The children were 10, 8, 5 and 3. The house here was different in just about every way from the one we left. It became our nest. It helped me to nurture my family during really important and difficult and wonderful years. In some ways those years are a blur to me now. But they mattered.

I built a life for my kids in this home, and the tears my daughter was shedding were partly a reflection of that. Not that I think I did anything impressive, but that by His grace they clearly felt nurtured and cared for. They connected to the people and the place and felt good here.

In fact, it feels like a loss to her because it was good. And that's nothing to be afraid of. It's part of the tapestry that makes us who we are.

So I didn't try to point out to my daughter all the fabulous things about her new home and life and extended family, as if they canceled anything she was losing. Sure, from my perspective, it's clear we are gaining so much more. I'm so thankful she appreciates and is excited about all those things, too, and that there is a great deal of laughter for her along the way.

But her vision is cloudier than mine just now. Of course it is. So I simply shared that I was glad she cared enough about her life here, that it mattered enough to her, that she is sad to leave it to the extent that she is. I think that helped.

What I hope for, of course, is that my children will continue becoming caring, connected people who experience laughter and excitement at whatever is coming next -- along with tears over what they are leaving behind -- when they leave our next home someday, too.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


Click HERE to purchase it. (Sales help fund JWR.).

JWR contributor Betsy Hart, a frequent commentator on CNN and the Fox News Channel, can be reached by clicking here.

Betsy Hart Archives

© 2012, Scripps Howard News Servic