In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan. 2, 2014/ 1 Shevat, 5774

What parental love trumps

By Betsy Hart

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I've recently had several conversations with young friends with very young children, or children on the way. Most have the same fear: that they somehow aren't getting it "right" or won't get it "right" when it comes to parenting.

The little-kept secret is that all parents blow it. We lose our patience, yell, get angry or even wonder, "I had these kids because WHY?"

And then we turn around and say, "Oh, good grief, I really am my parents!"

Well, I think I've learned a lot in my time as a mom to four kids, the oldest one now starting college. Good grief, I even had the temerity to write a book on the subject.

Looking back, I can share a list of things my own parents did "wrong." My parents did not, for instance, tolerate the sharing of negative feelings about anything, or apologize when they blew it in small or big ways (a common experience for kids who grew up in my era).

Meanwhile, my dad and I were not close at all when I was young. And my mom? I knew from my youngest days, thanks to my four very typical older siblings who naturally enjoyed teasing me, that I was an "unwanted" pregnancy. Truly, it was common knowledge in our home that when my mother found out she was expecting me, she cried for days she was so unhappy about it.

But here's the amazing thing: My knowing that was completely overwhelmed by the fact of my mother's love for me once I actually arrived. You see, my mother loved my siblings and me so fiercely, so unconditionally, so totally that I simply grew up convinced of her rock-solid devotion, no matter her initial response to the news of my arrival. More than that, I also I believed that I was loveable. That is so critically important to a healthy self-image, successful relationships and simple happiness.

The totality of my mother's love dwarfed for me whatever negatives there were in our family's life. It wasn't just in what she said or did, though those things were important. It was part of who she was, it was clear loving us made her happy. It was palpable.

Her love even overwhelmed anything I didn't get from my dad at the time, so that when I became an adult my father and I could grow closer and come to enjoy each other.

I know that my mother's fierce love for me has shaped how I love my children. And they will tell you, as they have told me, that they feel my overwhelming love for them has sustained us all through some really rocky times in our lives, including our single-mom years.

Of course, I don't think my mother loved me more than other moms have loved their kids through the ages, and maybe I don't love my kids more than other parents love theirs (though I think it's a healthy tendency for a parent to suspect she does!).

But, I increasingly recognize the value of parental love. Both in what it did for me and in how it is shaping my children for the good -- in spite of my many parenting mistakes.

So that's what I want to impart to my young friends just starting out on this journey. You may agonize over getting things "right," whatever that is to you: connecting emotionally with your kids, or training them well when it comes to manners, or instilling good moral lessons, or spending enough time with them, and our endless lists go on. All those desires are important.

But letting your kids know, and taste, and feel and rest in your incredible, crazy, sacrificial love for them is going to be the thing that shapes them more than anything else, and often in spite of everything else, that you do.

In other words, I want my young friends to find rest in the gracious truth that real love from a mom or dad (and preferably both!) covers a host of parenting sins.

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