In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan. 24, 2007 / 5 Shevat, 5767

The singles without bliss

By Suzanne Fields

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | More than a decade ago I floated a book proposal with the title "Women Without Men," an ironic reference to Ernest Hemingway's "Men Without Women." The Hemingway stories were about a tough world of masculine men who lived without women by choice. They were bullfighters and bruisers, hired hands and hard drinkers, even killers.

The women I wanted to write about were single by choice, too, who adhered to Gloria Steinem's mantra: "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." These were women for whom career always comes first. I applauded their ambition but thought they would later regret postponing marriage because they were risking the rewards of families of their own. The senior editor at a prestigious publisher liked my proposal, but said, with a sigh of regret, that "the feminists in my shop won't let us have anything to do with it." Protecting their revolution was crucial, and nobody would be allowed to argue with "herstory."

That was then and this is now. Today tons of books describe the dilemma of women who waited too long, didn't reckon with fertility problems, thought there would always be time to get pregnant, and now will never know the pleasures of watching their children grow up. Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and David Popenoe, authors of "The State of Our Unions" in the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, observe that in 1976, one of 10 women in their early 40s was childless; by 2004 it was one of five. Childlessness coincides with expanding numbers of singles.

The New York Times asks, somewhat plaintively, "Why are there so many single Americans?" Only two years ago in the age group between 35-44, important ones for raising children, 66.2 percent of the men were married, down from 88 percent in 1960. Of women, 67.2 percent were married, down from 88 percent in 1960. The statistics, though similar, affect the lives of men and women in different ways. Younger women say they want first to focus on their careers and then have children. Many of these women will find all too soon that they have been exiled to a creative limbo. One of the most suppressed facts of the feminist revolution as it accelerated in the 1970s was that the older a woman gets, the more difficult it is for her to become pregnant.

Men who want children can afford to wait, literally and figuratively. Young bachelors concede their commitment phobias and say they want to keep their freedom for as long as they can. They have bought the Hugh Hefner philosophy of an earlier era: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Single career women have bought a similar line from Playboy, perhaps unwittingly. In 1963, Hefner exhorted men to work harder to become wealthier, buy more consumer goods and keep climbing the golden ladder of opportunity. If we are to believe what the voices in the popular culture tell us, women are equal opportunity consumers. Instead of indulging in stereos, luxury cars and imported whiskey to show off status, they buy Manolo Blahnik shoes to show off the ankle, Botox to enhance the face and boob jobs to improve the curves. The termagant boss in "The Devil Wears Prada," played by Meryl Streep, is not a sympathetic character, but she's based on a real person and there are many like her out there. (I worked for one once at Vogue.)

The feminist revolution was a class revolution and women of the upper class won, if winning means successful careers and lots of money to buy things. But like most things in life, burdens fall hardest on women of the underclass. She's still more likely to have a child out of wedlock and less likely to find a man to provide family and financial support. Her children are less likely to go to college, and without a college degree they're more likely to join the underclass of the next generation. The multigenerational underclass is largely black with overall illegitimacy rates at 70 percent, and closer to 90 percent in the inner cities.

The legacy of slavery, welfare payments that replaced men and fewer opportunities for unskilled work all contributed to this. But the black voices celebrating victimhood are responsible, too. Barack Obama is a phenomenon in large measure because he wants to change that message. In his keynote speech at the Democratic National Convention two years ago, he celebrated inner-city families who "know that parents have to parent, that children can't achieve unless we raise their expectations and turn off the television set, and eradicate the slander that says a black youth with a book is acting white." Such advice might even lead them to the altar.

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