Jewish World Review August 30, 2004/ 13 Elul, 5764

Greg Crosby

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Consumer Reports

Fun games to play with your liberal friends

http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | As we round the bend into the final two months or so before the presidential election, it might be a good time to have some fun with our political opponents. Instead of being mean and nasty, let's try to be reasonable and keep our senses of humor. I've compiled a few items that I found on the internet that are not only true; they are presented with good humor and clarity. They are presented with such clarity, in fact, that even your most liberal of friends should be able to grasp them - if they read them a couple of times, really slowly. So, have fun and use these facts to torture your left-wing pals. It's the least you can do after the Michael Moore drek-u-drama they gave us.


As our democratic friends try to argue what good friends they are of the military, of veterans and in general the armed forces, please remember the facts below. Give them this test:

ENTICE THE REAGAN DEMOCRATS
CAN YOU NAME THIS COUNTRY?


709,000 REGULAR (ACTIVE DUTY) PERSONNEL.


293,000 RESERVE TROOPS.
EIGHT STANDING ARMY DIVISIONS.
20 AIR FORCE AND NAVY AIR WINGS WITH 2,000 COMBAT AIRCRAFT.


232 STRATEGIC BOMBERS.
19 STRATEGIC BALLISTIC MISSILE SUBMARINES WITH 3,114 NUCLEAR WARHEADS ON 232 MISSILES.


500 ICBMs WITH 1,950 WARHEADS.


FOUR AIRCRAFT CARRIERS AND 121 SURFACE COMBAT SHIPS AND SUBMARINES PLUS ALL THE SUPPORT BASES, SHIPYARDS, AND LOGISTICAL ASSETS NEEDED TO SUSTAIN SUCH A NAVAL FORCE.


IS THIS COUNTRY -- RUSSIA ? NO


CHINA ? NO


GREAT BRITAIN ? NO


FRANCE ? WRONG AGAIN ( What a Laugh!!!!!)


MUST BE USA ? STILL WRONG (SORT OF)


GIVE UP ?


THESE ARE THE AMERICAN MILITARY FORCES THAT WERE ELIMINATED DURING THE ADMINISTRATION OF BILL CLINTON AND AL GORE.


AND [their elimination] 100% SUPPORTED BY JOHN KERRY (THESE HE DID VOTE ON)

Here's a "What's Good - What's Bad?" Riddle
Clinton awards Halliburton no-bid contract in Yugoslavia - good... Bush awards Halliburton no-bid contract in Iraq - bad...


Clinton spends 77 billion on war in Serbia - good... Bush spends 87 billion in Iraq - bad...


Clinton imposes regime change in Serbia - good... Bush imposes regime change in Iraq - bad...


Clinton bombs Christian Serbs on behalf of Muslim Albanian terrorists - good... Bush liberates 25 million from a genocidal dictator - bad...


Clinton bombs Chinese embassy - good... Bush bombs terrorist camps - bad...


Clinton commits felonies while in office - good... Bush lands on aircraft carrier in jumpsuit - bad...


Clinton says mass graves in Serbia - good... Entire world says WMD in Iraq - bad...


No mass graves found in Serbia - good... No WMD found Iraq - bad...


Stock market crashes in 2000 under Clinton - good... Recession under Bush - bad...


Clinton refuses to take custody of Bin Laden - good... World Trade Centers fall under Bush - bad...


Clinton says Saddam has nukes - good... Bush says Saddam has nukes - bad...


Clinton calls for regime change in Iraq - good... Bush imposes regime change in Iraq - bad...


Terrorist training in Afghanistan under Clinton - good... Bush destroys training camps in Afghanistan - bad...


Milosevic not yet convicted - good... Saddam in custody - bad...


Ah, it's so confusing!



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Here is an e-mail that is making the rounds lately. Send it off to your liberal friends and watch the fun!


Dear Democratic Party,

I am a senior citizen.


During the Clinton Administration I had an extremely good and well paying job. I took numerous vacations and had several vacation homes.


Since President Bush took office, I have watched my entire life change for the worse.


I lost my job.


I lost my two sons in that terrible Iraqi War.


I lost my homes.


I lost my health insurance.


As a matter of fact I lost virtually everything and became homeless.


Adding insult to injury, when the authorities found me living like an animal, instead of helping me, they arrested me.


I will do anything that Senator Kerry wants to insure that a Democrat is back in the White House come next year. Bush has to go.


I just thought all Americans would like to know how one senior citizen views the Bush Administration.


Thank you for taking time to read my letter.


Sincerely,
Saddam Hussein


It's Not True That ...


  • Senator John Kerry said that as president he will relieve taxpayers from the burden of the massive deficit by having his wife pay it off.


  • At a recent fund-raiser, Sen. John F. Kerry ignored reports that he is 'aloof' and dismissed charges that he is 'patrician' or 'aristocratic', calling the the latter "lies promulgated by provincial proletarians — the ignorant hoi polloi."

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JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.

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© 2004 Greg Crosby