Jewish World Review June 24, 2003 / 24 Sivan, 5763

Greg Crosby

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Want peace? Try this | Well, here we go again --- or rather, here we go some more. A surefire recipe for death. (1) Palestinian and Israeli leaders talk about a possibility of peace (including a Palestinian state) which is immediately followed by (2) Arab terrorists killing Israeli civilians, which is then followed by (3) an Israeli retaliation, (4) which makes the possibility of peace ever more remote. One, two, three, four. Happens every time.

Several things occur to me in all of this:

The new Palestinian prime minister, Mahmoud Abbas, is about as effective a leader as Gray Davis is a governor. The man is one of two things: either he cannot control what his people do, or he doesn't want to control what his people do. Either way he is ineffective and not worth dealing with.

My gut tells me that Yasser Arafat is still very much in charge.

Hamas, the primary terrorist group in this latest wave of violence, needs to be dealt with in exactly the same way that the United States has been dealing with al Qaeda -- that is, chase them down wherever they hide and destroy them. Hamas cannot be talked to or reasoned with.

The so-called road map is useless until the Palestinian terrorists stop their bombing of innocent Israeli civilians. Nothing will ever improve until this happens.

The key to any and all future attempts at peace in that region hinges not on what lands or settlements Israel gives up, but whether all (or at least most) Arabs make the commitment to allow Israel to exist among them.

It should be clear to all reasonable people by now that certain Arab factions surrounding Israel will NEVER accept anything less than the total destruction of the state of Israel and the annihilation of the Jewish population living in the Middle East. All the peace plans with the Palestinians over the course of time have failed. Therefore, I have come up with a few alternate solutions. Some of them may sound wacky, some may sound desperate, but since none of the "normal diplomatic attempts" have had any success, maybe it's time to try a wacky one. Desperate times call for desperate measures, as they say.

PLAN #1: Israel simply takes complete charge of the West Bank and Gaza Strip once and for all. This was land obtained through a war, a war which was instigated by the Arabs. Israel won that war, therefore the land is theirs. Period.

Of course, his means driving off every single Palestinian Arab from those areas. And where do they go? Any one of several Arab countries. Let the rest of the Arab world take in the refugees for a change, after all, they are Arabs and there is much more Arab land in the Middle East than Jewish. Once the Arabs are gone suicide bombing will cease.

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PLAN #2: The United States (and any other freedom-loving country) join with Israel in really combating terrorism in the Middle East. Quite simply, this means waging an all-out campaign against every single Arab-terrorist group both within and surrounding Israel. This will be accomplished by the following; (1) locating and rooting out terrorist leader-cowards hiding within the civilian populace, (2) expelling Arafat and all his honchos in the Palestinian Authority, (3) finding and destroying groups bent on the destruction of the state of Israel -- namely Hamas, the Palestinian Liberation Organization, Islamic Jihad, Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade, and the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine -- just for starters.

PLAN #3: Any school or Mosque in Gaza or the West Bank caught teaching Arab children hate-filled lies about the Jewish people will be shut down. Any other entities, such as radio or television stations engaged in like propaganda will also be shut down. The teachers, Mullahs, and other leaders responsible will be jailed. Children of known terrorist leaders will be taken away from their poison-filled environments and schooled elsewhere -- somewhere where hate is not part of the curriculum.

PLAN #4: Move all Jews out of Israel -- give the whole region to the Arabs. I guarantee in less than ten years the country will be as down-trodden, corrupt, and dirt poor as the rest of the Arab countries. But what happens to the Israelis? We resettle them in the state of Nevada, let them have all gaming rights, and make Hebrew the official language of the state.

PLAN #5: Kick out every non-Jewish person living in Israel and construct a thirty-foot high wall surrounding the entire country, which will in effect, turn Israel into the biggest Jewish ghetto in history. Israelis might feel isolated, but at least they won't be murdered when they go out for pizza.

PLAN #6: Every time a suicide bombing attack happens in Israel, the Israelis are allowed by international law, to bomb any one thing (of their choice) in any Arab country they wish, free of charge. They're only allowed to have one bomb each time, but it can be any size bomb and they can use it anywhere they want -- including government buildings and palaces. Under these conditions, how long would you guess it would take before suicide bombings in Israel stopped forever?

So there you have it -- just a few ideas off the top of my head on how to bring peace to the Middle East. As I said, some may be wacky -- but maybe at this stage, wacky is what is called for.

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JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.

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