Jewish World Review June 18, 2004/ 29 Sivan, 5764

Greg Crosby

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It ain't fair | It's true that nobody ever said life would be fair. Life isn't fair . except if you're a member of the liberal cultural elite - then life is fairer for you than for others.

Allow me to illustrate with a few examples in the recent news.

The Associated Press released the following story on June 15:

Country music singer Glen Campbell was sentenced Tuesday to 10 nights in jail and two years probation for a November drunken-driving hit-and-run collision.

Campbell pleaded guilty in May to leaving the scene of an accident and extreme driving under the influence. On Tuesday, the judge sentenced Campbell to 10 days.

In the county jail but granted a request for a work furlough from 7a.m. to 7p.m. Campbell's attorney, Larry Kazan, said the 68-year-old needed the furlough for his full-time rehearsal and practice schedule. Prosecutor Michael Denney said he had no objections to the release schedule.

This isn't the first time that movie stars, music stars, and other celebrities have been given this kind of "out patient" jail sentence. For 10 days Campbell basically goes about his normal business, but he has to sleep in the slammer.

Now, I don't think if I were arrested for a drunk hit-and-run collision they'd let me spend my jail time at home writing my column, do you? What is this "you can go free all day but just spend the nights in jail" cr-p? A jail term should be a jail term. I mean, isn't part of the punishment of going to jail the fact that you're NOT FREE? Oh, wait a minute, having to spend 10 full days and nights in jail would be AN INCONVIENCE for Campbell, I see. HEY, GLEN, THAT'S WHAT JAIL PUNISHMENT IS ALL ABOUT-IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE INCONVIENANT! But I guess we should be satisfied that he's at least sleeping in jail for a few days - if he had pleaded not guilty and had a jury trial, he would have gotten off completely scot-free.

It ain't fair.

Here's a hypothetical question for you. Suppose Ben Affleck and Matt Damon made a movie called "Black Chicks" where they played undercover FBI agents who put on black-face and dressed up like African-American women? How do you think Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and other "leaders of the black community" would enjoy that? (not much) Think the media would tear the film makers apart? (yep) Think Damon and Affleck would be accused of making fun of blacks?

(yep) Of belittling people of color? (yep) Think they would be accused of being insensitive racists? (you bet) Think they could even get a studio to green light such a project? (Not on your politically correct life)

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How about a movie with a couple of black guys who put on white-face and dress up as white women? Well, I guess that's not considered offensive or belittling because that is exactly what "White Chicks" is about. This flick is starring the Wayans brothers, and the simple fact that they managed to get this premise made at all should tell you all you need to know about double standard Hollywood liberals. Remember how Ted Danson was slammed in the press several years ago because he put on black-face at a private party? It was done as a private joke and he was dating Whoppi Goldberg at the time, but he still got beat up for it. It ain't fair.

Following in the steps of Santa Monica, Malibu and Los Angeles, the Los Angeles County Board of Stupid-visors approved a pilot project to ban beach smoking in the county's unincorporated areas until September 15. If you want to smoke you can still go out in the parking lot to do it, you just can't smoke on the sand or in the water. The county ban, along with similar restrictions at Los Angeles, Malibu and Santa Monica beaches, creates a smoke-free zone from Marina del Rey to the Ventura County/Los Angeles County line. I'm sure it won't be long before all California beaches will be no-smoking.

Now I know that people who crusade to ban smoking in every single aspect of public life are not necessarily all liberals. But many are. So how come these liberal people who would do away with public smoking have no problem with legalized marijuana? Why are marijuana cigarettes fine and dandy but other kinds of smokes are bad, bad, bad. Isn't second-hand pot smoke just as potent, or more so, than other smoke? It ain't fair.

The Los Angeles Board of Stupid-visors has also given in to the ACLU's demands to remove a tiny little cross from the county seal. The seal was created about 50 years ago and appears on just about every county building, car, notepad, police badge, you name it. There are many symbols within the seal, each symbol representing a part of the history of Los Angeles County. The cross represents the significant impact that the Spanish missions had in establishing Los Angeles county (indeed, all of California). That very same seal features Pomona, the Roman Goddess of fruit; smack dap in the middle and about ten times as large as the cross. The ACLU has no problem with the pagan goddess, of course, only the Christian cross.

This is yet another attempt by the secular left to remove all vestiges of religion from American public life - no matter what the historical facts may be. Three out of the five supervisors are willing to eliminate this tiny cross. Three people will change the history of Los Angeles County right in front of our eyes and the people won't even get a vote on it. Oh, I tell you folks, it ain't fair.

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JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.

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© 2004 Greg Crosby