In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Dec. 8, 2003 / 13 Kislev, 5764

The Secaucus Peace Plan

By Jeff Dunetz

Printer Friendly Version

Email this article

Making Peace ... the Colin Powell Way

https://www.jewishworldreview.com | This week the world's news media has been filled with glowing reports about the Geneva Peace Plan. It's an Israeli-Palestinian treaty that was negotiated and signed by some private citizens who had no authority from their respective governments. Their effort, funded mostly by the Swiss government, was signed last week in Geneva. The gala ceremony included anti-Israel diatribes from the Palestinian negotiators and former US President Jimmy Carter. This unofficial plan was originally greeted with distain by both the Palestinian Authority and the Israeli government; however the PA has since changed its stance after seeing that it could be turned into public relations tool.

What has been missing from all the reports is that the Geneva plan represents a milestone in diplomacy. Now anyone can make a treaty! Even the US Secretary of State Colin Powell has thrown his support behind the plan, further damaging the chances of the so called "Roadmap Peace Plan." You may remember that one; it was proposed by Mr. Powell's boss, the President and agreed to by both Israel and the PA. The Secretary Has even met with the negotiators.

It is clear that General Powell has ushered in a new era , from now on, to negotiate a treaty all you need to do is find any two private citizens who agree to terms. They don't need any official authority just a word processor and a pen. I assume that you need to have private citizens from each country but this hasn't been made clear. Even if the plan actually distracts from the peace process, you can win an all expenses paid trip to Washington to meet the head diplomat of the United States.

By meeting with the negotiators of the Geneva plan, Powell not only gives it legitimacy — but once again proves himself to be a genius. I have decided to show my support, jump on the bandwagon to help General Powell move his new manifesto ahead. I am pleased announce today, that a peace treaty has been negotiated with Iraq!

Wanting to help Secretary Powell establish his new era of world peace, I sat down with Hamid, an American of Iraqi descent. I met him at the Bar Mitzvah party of my cousin Manny's son that took place this past Sunday. (Hamid has never been to Iraq, his father was driven out of the country in 1948 with other Iraqi Jews, but we assumed it would be close enough for Mr. Powell.)

Donate to JWR

Hamid and I agreed that since neither one of us had the money to go to Geneva, we would sit down right there, in Secaucus, New Jersey, to negotiate our treaty. So while the rest of the guests were eating their choice of salmon with a mustard sauce or Beef Wellington with baked potato, Hamid and I got down to negotiating world peace, or as we call it "The Secaucus Peace Plan". We based the plan on the Geneva treaty that Mr. Powell supports

Here are some of the Highlights:

  • The border security fence is comprised of many sections totaling scores of miles. Some sections are concrete, others sheet metal. The barrier is three layers deep in parts, fifteen feet high and surrounded by razor wire. The area around it is lit by spotlights, monitored by cameras, motion detectors and magnetic sensors, and patrolled by armed guards with attack dogs. This barrier is an economic hardship for the people on the other side; it prevents them from working an honest job and earning a living. Therefore as part of our treaty, the fence between the US and Mexico must come down.

  • Holy Sites across the world including The Temple Mount, Vatican City, Mecca and the monument area of Yankee Stadium will now be run by an international commission. The lone exception will be my cousin Bernie's Synagogue, which is granted a five year grace period till after his youngest child's Bar-Mitzvah in May of 2008. We deemed that another affair thrown by my cousin Bernie could only help world peace.

  • The United States will go back to its pre 1960 borders, Alaska and Hawaii would become Iraqi territory on December 18th when my parents come home from their Alaskan cruise.

In return for these compromises Iraq agrees;

  • That any homicide bombings against occupying forces in Iraq will now be blamed on the fact that Hamid is powerless to stop them.

  • Iraq is allowed to destroy any Non-Muslim Holy sites in their territory. There is a precedent for this just look at Palestinian destruction of the Tomb of Joseph or their work at the Temple Mount.

  • The last element is perhaps the toughest part to negotiate, but I think it is the biggest win for our side, Iraq agrees to give up control of all taxi cabs and 7-11 stores east of Hackettstown, New Jersey.

Hamid and I will officially sign the treaty next Sunday morning at a Dunkin Donuts shop in Secaucus. After that I assume that the troops in Iraq can all come home since there will be peace.

Me and my new friend Hamid both agree that we are no heroes, we owe it all Colin Powell US Secretary of State and his new manifesto, he will support any treaty made by anyone, anywhere, whether or not the negotiators have legitimacy, even if it slows down the real peace process.

For all of his efforts I think General Powell should win a Nobel Peace Prize. I will address the subject with my friend Larry. I understand that he has formed a new unofficial Nobel Prize committee along with some guys he met at the latest Star Trek Convention

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in Washington and in the media consider "must reading." Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Jeff Dunetz is a 20-year marketing veteran, and a freelance writer. He is married and the father of two kids who ask lots of questions about being Jewish that he can't answer. Jeff has been active in Jewish organizations since his USY days. Presently he is a Member of the Board of Trustees of the Dix Hills (Long Island) Jewish Center. He reads and responds to all of his mail, so comment by here.

What type of world will my children live in?
High Holiday Prayers --- for my enemies: 'Getting even' with the evil ones the Jewish way

© 2003, Jeff Dunetz