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Jewish World Review Nov. 28, 2013/ 25 Kislev, 5774 The Only Poem You Need on Thanksgiving By Lenore Skenazy
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The Pilgrims came here, wearing shoes With buckles big as honeydews. Or maybe the buckles were on their hats Or on their belts. Well, anyway, that's Not really why we celebrate. It's because of religious freedom ... or ... wait. I know! It is because of Squanto, The only local — not counting Tonto — Whose name we remember and revere That doesn't end with blah, blah, "Deer." Or "Bull," of course. Or "Mohegan Sun." Or "Horse." But anyway, after a winter of almost no food, The few scrawny Pilgrims were in a bad mood. Seeing them starving, Squanto took pity. (So why didn't we ever name a city After him or his tribe, the way we did with Massapequa? A name you could spell wrong for a weeka And no one would notice?) But ... as I was saying: Squanto taught the Pilgrims the secret of laying Dead fish in the ground next to their seeds, Which made their scraggly crops grow like weeds. And so by the fall of 1620-somethin', There was so much corn and pre-Libby's pumpkin That the Pilgrims cried, "Let's party, pronto! We'll give thanks to God and what's-his-name, Squanto." So the Pilgrims threw a three-day feast Attended by Indians and in-laws and friends without anywhere to go and smug vegan cousins and I guess one turkey, at least, Because somehow that bird became the big deal Around which we organize this historical meal, A meal so filling no one has room for pies of pecans Except the vegans.
And that is why on this special day, We, too, must stop to pray And give thanks to those Pilgrims with their collars so lacy And high-school bands and R.H. Macy And Santa, always holly-jolly And also to my agent, Mollie. Bosses, too, come in for celebration, Provided they give us a two-day vacation. Thank you, too, Native Americans so kind, Whom, alas, our forefathers robbed blind. And thank you, God, for all we've got, Which, usually when you stop to think about it, is really a lot.
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