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On forgiveness
By Rabbi Berel Wein
http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
THE theme of
Yom Kippur is forgiveness.
Since human beings are
prone to error, foolishness
and selfishness,
the necessity for a
mechanism of forgiveness is
obvious. Our entire
relationship with our
Creator is based on His ability and willingness to forgive.
And in a deeper sense, our relationship with our very self
is based on forgiveness. For if we could not sublimate
our past errors and failures and forgive ourselves for
them, we would not be able to continue living, improving
and maturing. Every successful marriage and strong
family is built on the
foundation of mutual understanding, respect and
forgiveness.
But forgiveness, though a divine trait, so to speak, is not
a luxury --- it is a human necessity. In any society,
compromise and forgiveness are the necessary
ingredients for positive and peaceful existence. There is a
great difference between forgetting and forgiving.
Forgiving presupposes memory and caution. It is built on
the realization that a wrong has been committed. It is the
recognition of that wrong that challenges us to be able to
forgive. As in our relationship with G-d, there may be
wrongs that occur between humans that are unforgivable.
Cain himself admitted that "my sin is too great to bear."
But most wrongs in human relationships are not quite of
that nature. They are forgivable and therefore should be
forgiven.
One of the tough things about our contemporary lives, society and
media, is its unforgiving nature. There is almost a
vindictive spirit in the land that dredges up past hurts and
mistakes and does not allow them to rest and be
forgiven. There is a sense of glee present when one
segment of our society points out the weaknesses and foibles, the errors
and corruption that exist in another.
There is no sense of sadness, of regret that others have
fallen, that a piece of our nation is troubled. There is only
the ugly face of triumphalism.
This is unfortunately true, even though in almost all these
instances it is the case of the pot calling the kettle black.
By not being able to forgive others, eventually we
become cruel, malicious and negative people. I am
unable to
understand why political, social, religious and cultural
disputes which are now already generations, if not
centuries old, must yet be pursued with such focused
venom. Is there no positive platform that our political
parties can present to the public without demonizing,
insulting and attacking large segments of our society? Are
we really that desperate for scapegoats? Do we not
realize that these tactics ultimately destroy the attacker as
much as the victim?
And are we really that powerless to be sensitive to the
beliefs and lifestyles of those who are different than us?
That great woman Bruria, the wife of the sage Rabbi
Meir, said it clearly centuries ago: "The Psalms tells us
that
sins -- not sinners -- should disappear from this world."
Sinners should be forgiven. Sins should be remembered,
corrected and made to disappear. The unique quality of
Yom Kippur should be allowed to transform our
attitudes and behavior toward others. We can keep
some of the holiness and serenity of this miraculous day
with us all year long. Fewer personal attacks, less
self-righteousness and more compassion should be the
norm of our personal and national life and debate.
Yom Kippur is a day of forgiveness and introspection, of
peace and harmony, of yearning and strength. It need not
be the only such day in our year. If we can make the
spirit of Yom Kippur last for the whole year, then it will
truly be a blessed new year for all mankind.
JWR contributor Rabbi Berel Wein is one of Jewry's foremost historians and founder of the Destiny Foundation. He has authored over 650 tapes, books and videos which you can purchase at RabbiWein.com. Comment by clicking here or calling 1-800-499-WEIN (9346).
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