In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Sept. 22, 2004 /7 Tishrei, 5765

In the Margins: Imagining a ‘Book of Lives’


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Re-thinking one of this season's most time-honored, cherished beliefs

https://www.jewishworldreview.com | I have always loved books. By the time I was 16 months old I had learned to name the letters of the alphabet from "Sesame Street." By the time I was 3, my parents had instituted the Sabbath Book Program to satisfy my voracious appetite for books: Every Saturday morning I — and later my younger brothers — would wake up the proud owner of a new book. This program, which lasted into my teenage years, was like a mini-Chanukah every week. In my college days, I was just as enthusiastic.

So, when I was taught about the Book of Life, I embraced the imagery. It made perfect sense to such a book-centered child: In Heaven, there was this book. If inscribed for a good year, we would live in health and happiness; if we had sinned, G-d condemned us to a year of sickness, misery and death. Our repentance during the Days of Awe could alter a negative decree. I accepted this, assimilating it into my understanding of the season.

As I got older, I learned more, which bred more questions than answers. Each Sabbath, the words "da lifnei mi atah omed" blazed at me in gold from above the Holy Ark. "Know before whom you stand," the letters implored. Easier said than done. For every prayer that attested to G-d's role in our lives as protector and redeemer, I seemed to find an equal number of texts that invoked the image of G-d as Supreme Judge, who with a single scrawl from the Divine Pen could grant us life or condemn us to death.

The image of the Book of Life grew in my mind into something starkly terrifying. Being inscribed for a good year meant life. Being inscribed for a bad year meant death. I began to have my first difficulties toting this image of the Book of Life in my spiritual knapsack — it was weighing me down, becoming too tangible and making it harder to view it as metaphor. It reminded me of the books at funeral homes, wherein those who come to pay their respects record their names as testament that they cared about the deceased. It was supposed to be the Book of Life, and yet I had begun to associate the book with death alone.

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In September 2001, I started to see the metaphorical tome's pages filling in with indecipherable scrawls representing names of people whom I will never meet but whose faces haunt me still, like a bound collector's-edition compendium of those "missing" and "have you seen...?" posters. Those flyers clung obstinately to telephone poles and littered the streets of New York City, even after hope had been relinquished, long after the people pictured in them had perished.

After the year of mourning for the victims of September 11 had passed, I returned to my image of the Book of Life again, desperate to make peace with it. Then, a spate of suicide bombings, having begun in 5762 and having crossed into 5763, conspired to sever my faith yet again. I remembered the words of Unesaneh Tokef, that on Rosh Hashanah we are inscribed and on Yom Kippur we are sealed: "who will die in his appointed time and who will die before his appointed time...." In my mind, the slo-mo CNN loops began running, with towers burning, planes crashing, bombs exploding and people dying.

Then I remembered having learned that G-d knows the whole course of human events but still gives humankind the power of free will. Our choices, good or bad, even within the structure of predestination, can change the future. And our actions as a community are that much more powerful. Perhaps the same conceit holds true for the Book of Life. Our deeds may cause G-d to judge us in a certain manner, but even G-d's decree may be altered by human action.

While this doesn't explain why bad things happen to good people, it does strip the Book's debit and credit columns of their all-encompassing power. People who die under tragic circumstances, be the causes natural or unnatural, have not necessarily been inscribed by G-d for a year of misery. People who follow the path of evil can negatively affect good inscriptions. And if this is true, then the inverse must also be true: We can become the restorers of life, not just through repentance for our own misdeeds right before the Days of Awe but by following the path of righteousness and using good to help others throughout the rest of our lives.

Yet another year has passed. With the gift of distance and reflection, I remember how we have mobilized in the past — as Jews, as New Yorkers, as Americans. This banding together proved yet again why we are urged not to depend on miracles but to go out and make those miracles happen. We embraced our wounded city and our sense of national pride and are still in the process of building a stronger community. It is a process of slow and steady progress, not unlike repentance.

For synagogue-going Jews, the period of reflection and introspection is an opportunity to reassess our priorities, our intentions and our assumptions. Maybe when discussing the Book of Life, Sefer Hachayim, the book in question should not be translated as the "Book of Life." Maybe it should be translated as the "Book of the Living" or the "Book of Lives" — a chronicle of the lives of all human beings, that is to say, human history — past, present and future.

I imagine each page, filled to the margins with our names, the writing filling every inch, one name nearly flowing into the other. Maybe by collecting our lives in a single anthology, the image teaches us that our fates are not just our own but are inexorably intertwined with the fates of others, in the community at large and throughout the world. We are not just the People of the Book; we are People of the Book of Lives. Together, we can carry the book, no matter how heavy it gets, and find comfort in the margins of its ever-expanding pages.

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JWR contributor Esther D. Kustanowitz is a freelance writer and editor living in Manhattan. She blogs at My Urban Kvetch. To comment, please click here.

© 2004, Esther D. Kustanowitz. This column first appeared in Forward.