'My kids' Jewish education stinks', boyfriend bandit, and single mother not by choice
By Wendy Belzberg
http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
My husband and I were in agreement about the importance of sending our
children to a Jewish day school. But, 4 years later, we continue to be
underwhelmed by the quality of the teaching staff. Good teaching is what
education is all about. We are seriously debating moving our children to a
first-rate secular school, then finding a first-rate afterschool program for
the children's Jewish education.
Have your read a newspaper lately? There is a teacher crisis in this country
and it is not confined to your local day school. Teachers are not being
adequately educated, trained or compensated. Changing schools will only mean
you will face the same problem in a new setting.
Stop wasting time debating with your husband and start drafting the parent
body in a crusade to improve the quality of your teaching staff. Join the
committee that vets teachers before they are hired. (If parents have
historically not been included in this process, time for that to change.)
With the guidance and input of teachers you do respect, have the school
implement a teacher-training program that every new teacher must complete
before getting his own classroom. You could also suggest a mentoring program
where new teachers are paired with well-liked, established teachers. (This is
my initial response; I'm sure you could do better in a room filled with
passionate parents.)
My advice: fight, don't switch.
* * *
Most parents with children under 7 focus on teaching them not to drop their
dirty laundry on the floor and to keep their elbows off the table. Either
your daughter is very precocious, or you're getting way ahead of yourself.
I applaud your values, but what about the values you fail to mention:
confidence, compassion, self-esteem, to name just a few. Living up to one's
commitments is an important lesson, and it is clear you are already teaching
that one. Another of life's lessons is that, in the real world, things seldom
turn out as planned. Rather than chart a course for her, give her the tools
to navigate any and all terrain.
Your daughter did not choose to be fatherless anymore than you chose to be a
single parent. Try focusing a little more on the immediate impact of this
divorce on your young daughter and a little less on her marriage plans.
* * *
I guess if you could forget having loaned your ex $500, he should be forgiven
for not remembering to repay it. Still, it's not like borrowing $1.50 for the
subway. There is nothing petty about asking for it back--people who work at
collection agencies do it all the time--even if he must pay by installment.
If you are still the least bit uncertain about your rights to that money,
relay your request by e-mail. That way there could be no attempt on his part
to sweet talk you over the phone and muddle your
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