JWR Only in the Middle East!

In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 23, 2004 / 6 Elul, 5764

Prophet School

By Jeff Dunetz

Arafat, messenger of the Divine?

https://www.jewishworldreview.com | Sometimes a public figure makes a statement that seems so very absurd, so way out there that it makes you wonder if maybe there is some truth in it. You know what I am talking about, declarations like Clinton's "I did not inhale" and OJ's "I am searching for Nicole's real killer".

Such was the case last week when Yasser Arafat stood in front of the Palestinian legislative council and admitted that he has been a bad boy, using as his excuse, "even Prophets make mistakes."

Printer Friendly Version

Email this article

Go ahead, read that statement again — slowly. You can't stop the question from just leaping into your mind: Does Arafat really believe that he is a Prophet of G-d? Let's face it, outside of the Bible or the movies, the only people I have ever seen claim they were true prophets were holding a sign and standing next to squeegee guys who try to clean my windows when I go over the Brooklyn Bridge.

On one hand there is at least some truth in what Arafat is saying. The Bible is full of prophets who erred. Yet, as far as I can see, Yasser's mistakes are a lot larger than that of the traditional biblical messengers. His slip-ups include things like commanding children to wear explosives, go on a bus and blow up other children on the way to school. I don't have a copy but you have to believe that Arafat's thirst for the murder of innocents are major no-no's in the official prophet handbook. And for extra measure, he is stealing billions of dollars — money earmarked to go to Gaza and West Bank Arabs for food and medicine.

Lots of the EU financial aid is now living with "Mrs. Voice of G-d" far away from the people it was meant to help. Despite the opinions of those in the French government, Yasser Arafat's acts are not those of a "People's Choice Award" winning prophet. We are not talking about hitting a rock here.

Despite all these mistakes maybe Arafat's entire statement is true. What if he really is a deliverer of holy messages? The fact that he is so mistake prone may not be his fault. It could be that he just had lousy training. Just like any other professional prophets need training too. In biblical times, prophets learned at the feet of other messengers, for example Elisha learned from Elijah.

Who has Arafat had to learn from? He had to train somewhere. Couldn't have been Elijah, he's too busy going from bris to bris. You don't read in the paper about a lot of great prophets around, delivering messages from G-d. That's probably why Yasser has committed all of these crimes. He's not a bad guy, just a bad prophet. You know, this could be the key to peace in our time. If we correct his horrible training he might change his ways. I made it my quest to find out where Yasser was ordained.

Donate to JWR

At first I thought that he might have been self-trained. All of those years cooped up in that Ramallah compound; maybe Arafat got bored and wanted to change careers. He could have taken a correspondence class, like one of those matchbook "You can go to art school" deals. He could have stepped out from his office for a smoke and seen it right there on as he lit up. "Draw a picture of this little doggie and you too can be a messenger of G-d. Imagine the fun at parties as you rebuke your friends in ancient Aramaic." That even sounds like the kind of operation that would produce a murder-prone seer like the head of the PA.

The president of the matchbook company assured me that there are no "Be a Prophet" correspondence courses on matchbooks. They only offer correspondence courses for doggie drawing art schools and NY Times Middle East columnists.

Unfortunately there were no good leads left, but I could not give up. The only way to reverse Arafat's mistaken prophet training is to find its source. Matchbooks didn't pan out. I couldn't figure out where the Palestinian Messenger of G-d learned his trade. It was time to think outside of the box. To free up my mind and relax, I turned on a fantasy TV program, ABC News with Peter Jennings.

Reading some e-mails and only half listening, I heard a quote that sounded like something that Arafat would say. "The Israeli puppeteer travels to Washington, meets with the puppet in the White House and goes down Pennsylvania Avenue and meets with the puppets in Congress. The Israeli leader then brings back millions of dollars in aid to Israel." I looked up at the television, it was not Yasser the messenger or even a Palestinian, it was Ralph Nader, candidate for President of the US.

"Eureka! That's the answer" I screamed, " Ralph Nader must be the one". In an instant it all became obvious. Nader's book "Unsafe At Any Speed" reads like a traditional prophet's rebuke. Many of his follower's have a glassy-eyed look, kind of acting like they have "drank the Kool-aid." Nader's comments about Israel sound like the person who may have given our sorry Yasser his official voice of G-d decoder ring. After further reseach I heard on good authority, that Nader has a second book which is one of Arafat's favorites. It is called, "How To Be A Lousy Prophet While Looking Like You Haven't Shaved In Three Days".

Calls to Nader's office remain unanswered, but once he has been contacted and I can confirm Ralph Nader as the source of the mistakes made by France's favorite prophet, Yasser Arafat, a giant leap toward peace will have been made.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in Washington and the media consider must-reading. Sign up for our daily update. It's free. Just click here.

Jeff Dunetz is a regular contributor to Jewish World Review. Click here to visit his site. Comment by clicking here.

Making better prisoners
Let Madonna — OOPS! I mean ‘Esther’ — take the blame
Is Kofi Annan missing?
Groundhogs and human rodents
The Davinsky Code
The Secaucus Peace Plan: Making Peace ... the Colin Powell Way
What type of world will my children live in?
High Holiday Prayers --- for my enemies: 'Getting even' with the evil ones the Jewish way

© 2004, Jeff Dunetz