In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review June 23, 2004 /4 Tamuz, 5764

The good, the bad and the human

By Amy H. Lederman

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We're not meant to be angels, but

https://www.jewishworldreview.com | I was five the year my brother became a Bar Mitzvah and it was the worst year of my life. For approximately six months preceding the Big Event, he was fussed over, shopped for, listened to and pumped up while I was relegated to the back burner of family life. One evening during dinner I took matters into my own hands and kicked him so hard under the table that he dropped the platter of chicken and potatoes, splattering our meal in every direction but the plates. The results were disastrous: my mother became hysterical, I was sent to my room without supper and my brother got even more attention.

Stunned by my behavior, my parents demanded to know why I kicked my brother. My answer was immediate and unwavering: "I didn't do it."

They were aghast. Not only had I misbehaved big time, but my naughtiness had sunk to an even lower level of bold-faced lying. "What do you mean you didn't do it?" my father asked incredulously.

"I didn't do it!" I cried emphatically." "BAD Amy did it!"

In my youthful mind, it was a simple as this: I played no part in the dinner disaster because I was a good girl. It was BAD Amy, the other girl who lived inside me, that had kicked my brother.

My five year-old answer was a very natural and human response to disconnect the "bad" parts of myself from the good ones. GOOD Amy would never kick her brother because that would mean that she was nasty, hostile and worst of all, a BAD girl.

When it comes to being good or bad, the rabbis of the Talmud talked as much about human nature as Freud, Oprah and Dr. Laura combined. In their discussions, they acknowledge that we are born with both good and evil instincts, but only acquire a need to be good as we mature. In somewhat confusing and paradoxical language, they describe the human instinct-for-bad as the inner force that drives us to be good. Sounds like rabbinic brain teaser? In some ways it is.

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The key to this riddle is found in the rabbinic interpretation of the word "instinct" (or Yetzer in Hebrew). The Rabbis construed instinct to mean certain innate, essential drives, urges, or impulses that form the basis of the human soul. We are born with the "instinct" — for both good and bad. The instinct-for-good is what makes us want to uphold G-d's will and laws by performing deeds of justice, compassion and righteousness. The instinct-for-bad is what drives us to promote our own well-being and strive for personal achievement and success. Both are deeply human and both are necessary for the physical and spiritual survival and perpetuation of humankind.

The Talmud teaches that the desire for sex stems from our instinct-for-bad; yet without it, we would not build a house, marry, have children or conduct a business. It is the sexual drive that makes us want to create and affirm life; it motivates us to fill the earth and establish our homes and our communities.

The Talmud also teaches that "the greater the man, the greater his evil inclination." Our human potential for greatness, our capacity to develop and generate new ideas and our ability to lead others are all linked to our sexual vitality (similar to Freud's theory linking the libido to human creativity).

The key is how we use our instinct-for-bad: When we harness, moderate and redirect our impulses to lie, cheat, steal, hurt others or disobey G-d's law, we elevate ourselves over the animals. In essence, how we use or refrain from using the bad in us is what enables us to be good and to be human

Why is the instinct-for-bad considered bad if it motivates us to do good? Because the source of our over-ambitiousness, excessive competitiveness, extreme self interest and disregard for the welfare of others is derived from the same energy that underlies our drive to create, make love and sustain ourselves on earth is also. (If you don't believe the rabbis, just think back a few years when we watched the saga of President Clinton unfold on national television. That was a case of the instinct-for-bad run amuck!)

Many years have passed since I first disowned my instinct-for-bad. To be honest, there are still times in my adult life that I want to sever the "bad" parts of me from the good, to renounce BAD Amy's impulses to lie, be unkind or unfair. It is comforting to know that Judaism does not expect me to only be good. Rather, it acknowledges outright that we are human beings because we have both good and bad within us. It is our choice alone to master the instincts we possess.

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JWR contributor Amy Hirshberg Lederman is a nationally syndicated columnist and freelance writer, professional educator, public speaker and attorney. To comment, please click here.

© 2004, Amy Hirshberg Lederman