In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review May 21, 2007 / 4 Sivan, 5767

Toiling through tears

By Tom Purcell

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The Wall Street Journal article nearly brought me to tears: Crying has become acceptable in the workplace.

A growing number of workers, especially those in their 20s and 30s, no longer see crying at work as a bad thing. They think it's bad to conceal their emotions.

Jean Twenge, a professor at San Diego State University, said they were raised by parents who encouraged them to express their feelings — parents who continually told them how smart and talented and perfect they are.

Now that these runts are in the workplace — now that they're in reality — they can't handle the pressure. Their meany bosses — greedy fellows who care about turning profits — are demanding and critical. No wonder everybody is crying.

One woman — an accountant in her early 30s — broke into tears when her boss asked her to install software on her computer. When the boss asked her why she was blubbering, the woman said, "You scare me!"

It's not just women who are crying. Though they are more likely to cry than men, it has become more socially acceptable for both men and women to cry, according to Stephanie Shields, a Penn State psychology professor.

A female communications specialist in Boston gave an example. She said a male co-worker in his 20s had to fight "back tears while telling her about a chewing-out he'd gotten from a colleague." She said that a guy less in touch with his feelings might have expressed anger or pounded the table.

How Neanderthal that would have been.

Some bosses are getting in touch with their feelings, too. A CEO of a credit-counseling service said he can't expect his employees to be compassionate and caring with clients, then turn off their feelings like a switch. He said he knows how upsetting things can get. If they cry, he said, there is "no apology needed."

I'll tell you what is needed: some backbone. We've gotten way too sensitive — way too eager to give into our feelings and weaknesses. We've gone soft.

Here's another softy trend. Napping is now acceptable in the workplace. Now I'm a big proponent of napping. It definitely boosts my productivity. But when I used to work in a corporate office, I napped the way an effective employee is supposed to.

I took a late lunch and sneaked out to my car. I flipped on some classical music and reclined the seat. I had some incredible naps in the parking garage and nobody knew about it but me.

But today's napping employees?

Companies are erecting tents in large napping rooms. Employees are curling up with the company dog — a dog makes them feel better — for a nice snooze. Nobody is embarrassed about it.

Nobody is embarrassed about anything anymore.

Look, there is a time and a place for everything. There is a time and a place for a man to nap. There is a time and a place for a man to cry: the birth of his child, the death of a loved one and when a late pass results in his team winning the Super Bowl.

There is a time and a place for a man to reveal his emotions, too. The time is usually in the evening and the place is usually a pub. Only a man's bartender should know his innermost feelings.

But that isn't the case anymore, and that is why I worry. While tough-guy terrorists are plotting to blow us up, our fellows are misting up as they whine about their boss to co-workers.

We need to turn things back. We need to get our civilization back on track. Here's a good way to start: There shall be no more crying in the workplace, especially by men. There shall be no more napping, either (unless you sneak out to your car).

G-d forbid that the terrorists attack us again. But if they do, it's better that we are stoically working at our desks rather than curled up with the company dog in the nap room — sobbing.

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© 2007, Tom Purcell