In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review May 14, 2007 / 26 Iyar, 5767

Paris Hilton, ex-con, likely will be worse

By Mitch Albom

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I'm less concerned about Paris Hilton going to jail than I am about her getting out.

When she gets out, the fawning over her will be even worse, multiplied by the fact that — unlike most moments in her vapid life — there is actually something to talk about. Listen. You can hear it already:

What was life like in jail, Paris? How did you survive it, Paris? What did you eat there, Paris? How did the other women treat you, Paris? Every talk show will claw for her. Every L.A. photographer will have a camera hoisted. When Paris gets out, she'll be the first person ever to sit in a cell, the first person to endure three hots and a cot, her prison number will be a badge of honor, her orange jumpsuit will fetch huge money on eBay. People used to be ashamed of going to jail. Then again, people used to close the door for sex. Now, leaking a video of you and your boyfriend in full-throttle is considered a brilliant career move. It worked for Paris. It put Paris on the map.

Interviews. Book opportunities. Regis, Jay, Dave, Matt. There will be more fuss over Hilton's release than there has been over her incarceration.

She puts the "pro" into being a con.

Of course, like Nelson Mandela, Ghandi or Joan of Arc, Paris is being unfairly jailed by evil authorities. At least this is what she and her publicity machine would have you believe. "I just sign what people tell me to sign," she told the judge who asked if she understood what it meant to accept a drunken driving plea, which she had done. "I'm a very busy person." And there you have it.

She's very busy. Hey. It takes time to have sex and film it. It takes time to shop every store in Beverly Hills. It takes time to get paid $50,000 to show up at a party, to giggle and curse and slur into cameras, to declare on a TV show that you are giving up sex for a year and then be photographed five days later kissing a guy, to date not one but two Greek shipping millionaires, to start a record company called "Heiress Records" and be the only artist on it.

It takes time to get drunk, then get in your car and drive, speed, make an illegal turn and get pulled over. It takes time to explain the incident hours later on Ryan Seacrest's radio show, calling it "nothing" and explaining, "I was just really hungry and I wanted to have an In-N-Out burger." It takes time to have your license suspended for four months, then almost immediately go driving anyhow and be pulled over and cited, then go driving the next month and get pulled over and cited again, then go driving the next month and be cited again — with the previous warning still sitting in your car. It takes time to come up with an explanation for why you did that, and why you failed to attend alcohol education classes you agreed to, and why you arrived late for court.

Here was her explanation:

It was my publicist's fault.

See? That's exhausting.

Now, if you're over 30, you probably have seen photos of Hilton slinking around, sleepy-eyed, purse pooch in hand, various states of undress, and you've asked yourself, "What exactly does this woman do?" She doesn't do. She just is. Which makes railing against her so insidious. Because, devoid of talent, Paris Hilton exists only for publicity. You can't stop her when he does something bad — it only gets her more famous — and you can't ruin her when she does something good, because that, too, makes her more famous. She's like a cyborg, some science fiction creature that rebuilds itself after if you hit it with a rocket.

Which leaves us only one choice: to ignore her. My dream would be the day she gets out of jail, she steps through the doors — and nobody is there. No cameras. No microphones. Just the sycophants of her strange world looking around, lifting their sunglasses and wondering, "Where is everybody?" Because the point of Paris Hilton's existence — bad behavior and all — is to be noticed.

You really want to teach Paris Hilton a lesson while she's in jail? You don't lose the key. You lose interest.

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