In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review March 5, 2009 / 9 Adar 5769

Contest: Name Blagojevich's book

By John Kass

John Kass
Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Who the heck would ever plunk good money down to read a book titled "The Governor" by Rod Blagojevich?

That's the working title of Blagojevich's planned book, but it's a terrible title. That's why you readers are being enlisted to come up with a juicy, compelling title for our former Gov. Dead Meat's tell-all book, which was announced Monday.

If your title wins, you'll get a prize, and I mean a real prize this time, something tangible.

Because I'm writing the column, I get to go first. So how about this one:

"Et Tu, DeLeo?"

That's a reference to Blagojevich's former close friend, the former shadow governor of Illinois, state Sen. James DeLeo, D-How You Doin'?, who abandoned Gov. Dead Meat and voted to remove him from office after all the good times they had.

But at least Jimmy held a pre-impeachment fundraiser for Dead Meat at the Oak Brook, Ill., mansion of developer Ron Scarlato, according to a report in the Chicago Sun-Times. But the report didn't mention all the guys who showed up, including Melrose Park royalty.

So just send your Blago book title to me at jskass@tribune.com and the winner will receive a great prize, a fantastic prize, a marvelous prize.

I'm sure you'll come up with a better title than mine, although many good and bad ideas are already circulating at the Tribune, including "Impeach This!" and "Read This Book, It's (Bleeping) Golden!" sent to me by Tribune reporter Rex Huppke. Sadly, employees of the Tribune and their immediate families are prohibited from winning the prize.

I don't have the prize yet, but it will either be meat-related, in honor of Gov. Dead Meat's dead meat, perhaps a beef tongue or a lamb's heart or maybe some veal shanks for Osso Bucco. Or, better yet, how about a couple tickets to the smash hit play about Chicago politics and the late Mayor Richard J. Daley: "Hizzoner" starring the great character actor and my good friend Neil Guintoli?

What's pathetic is that the reports on the book deal suggest that the former governor is in line for a paltry six-figure advance.

If he actually does write the book - and tells how deals were made in the state Senate and in his office, like that bottle-service bill deal - some of his friends could get themselves singed.

And a few of my craftier readers are already suggesting that this book idea might help the governor leverage even more money from Illinois politicians.

He'll need that extra cash to help pay his legal defense bills in federal court and other expenses, like hair products and anthologies of Victorian poetry.

"John, just read that our ex-gov is writing a no-holds barred 'tell all' book," wrote reader Mark V. on Monday, just after the Blago book news broke. "Looks like he's figured out a way to raise cash in spite of new campaign contribution regulations that went into effect this year.

"My guess is that there will be dozens, if not hundreds of people willing to pony up serious money if the Gov will promise not to even mention their names in his toxic little tome. I'm thinking DeLeo alone will be good for at least six figures."

That's the Chicago Way. You threaten to write a book, and your friends drop presents on you to make sure you don't mention them. Just think what Gov. Dead Meat would get if he threatened to testify before a federal grand jury?

No discussion of a hot, salacious, turgidly written political "tell all" would be complete without mention of the ghost writer because Blago can't write his way out of a wet paper bag. I'm betting he's already hired author Anne Rice, who has already interviewed several vampires, and one more with big hair won't bother her.

The Blago book should quickly get optioned to Hollywood for one of those Oliver Stone epics full of truthiness. Although if Oliver Stone does it, the Republicans will be to blame for everything.

Either way, a movie will need a star. And wooden ventriloquist dummies can't play Blagojevich on the big screen. So who will get the starring roles?

Not Ben Affleck. I won't allow it. What we need is some twitchy haplessness. So will it be Ray Liotta as Blago or Steve Buscemi? And who will play the foul-mouthed Patti Blagojevich, who swears better than Lou Piniella and Ozzie Guillen combined?

I've got the perfect Patti. The best Hollywood cusser of all time is Susie Essman, who plays the foul-mouthed wife of Larry David's agent on "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Susie Essman can unleash four-letter words the way the young Mozart unleashed musical notes.

So don't forget, send your Blago "tell-all" book titles to me at jskass@tribune.com and win a prize. Either a beef tongue or something nicer.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

John Kass is a columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Comments by clicking here.


02/16/09: Dems undercut aid for U.S. workers
01/20/09: Let the carving begin on Tombstone's tomb
01/12/09: Obama serves Reid taste of Chicago Way
01/02/09: Jesters don't pick up the race card in a nationally televised news conference and slam it into the face of every Dem in the Senate, a palm heel strike to the tip of the nose, leaving all of them watery-eyed, their lips stinging
12/24/08: Governor waxes poetic, but Combine rolls on
12/23/08: Got corruption? Get Jesse Junior G-Man
12/18/08: Will ‘feditis’ spread to Obama and Daley?
12/15/08: Man behind curtain is wizard of Rod, Rahm

© 2008, Chicago Tribune. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.