In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan. 29, 2007 / 10 Shevat, 5767

No respect, no respect at all

By Tom Purcell

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Facing a lame-duck presidency and a belligerent Democrat Congress, a desperate President Bush hired a medium to contact the only spirit who could understand him: Rodney Dangerfield.

"Here's the problem," said Dangerfield, as he loosened his tie and twisted his neck from side to side. "You got no respect, Mr. President, no respect at all."

But Pelosi and Reid gave me gifts after my State of the Union address."

"Pelosi and Reid are trying to soak you, Mr. President. They gave you toys to play with while

you're soaking - a toaster and a radio."

"But I presented ideas that we could address in a bipartisan manner, Rodney."

"Like your health-care ideas? Sure, commonsense market incentives would broaden coverage and drive down costs. But your ideas are already dead on arrival. Democrats are out to get you, Mr. President. If you went to a prize fight, a session of Congress would break out."

"What about my energy plan, Rodney? I called for a 20 percent reduction in gasoline usage by 2017. We could achieve that by shifting to ethanol and other alternative fuels."

"But ethanol is made from corn, Mr. President. The amount you're talking about would require 30 million acres of farmland. You really think the Democrat left will allow that much soil erosion and pesticide use? Mr. President, if the surgeon general were a Democrat, he'd tell you to smoke!"

"Well, how about spending, Rodney? I submitted a budget plan that goes into surplus after five years. I called on Congress to cut legislative earmarks - the line items of pork Congress slips into bills at the last minute - in half."

Rodney laughed so hard, his bulging eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"Sorry, Mr. President, but I can't imagine Democrats giving up the goodies now that they've finally got their mitts on the spending levers. The Democrat pork trough will be so full, it'll have stretch marks. And the only way Democrats will play with you is if a hunk of tenderloin is dangling around your neck."

"But the Democrats said they'd work with me. Nancy Pelosi has been downright flirtatious with me."

"But Mr. President, she called you the other night and told you to come over, that nobody was home. You went over to see her and nobody was home."

"But the Democrats need to show legislative accomplishments if they hope to retain control of Congress in 2008. Surely they'll compromise somewhere."

"Like the war in Iraq, Mr. President? Most Democrats voted to authorize it in 2002 when it was popular, then they beat the war horse back to power when it became unpopular. You think they're going to stop riding that horse now? Mr. President, if you swallowed a bottle of aspirin, Democrats would offer you cocktails and tell you to get some rest."

"But so much is at stake, Rodney. We can't play politics with the war in Iraq. We need to resolve it now - or face far more severe consequences later. And there are other daunting problems here at home - Social Security, Medicare - that will only get worse the longer we wait to solve them."

"Mr. President, what's best for the country is not as important to Democrats as what is bad for you. If your tie was on fire, Democrats would put it out with an ax."

"What can I do to win back the people's respect so that Congress will listen to me?"

"How should I know, Mr. President? I'm a comedian. And there's nothing funny about your presidency. Gallup says your approval rating is at 36 percent. Your Republican colleagues, worried about 2008, are jumping ship. A CBS poll says that 60 percent of the world doesn't respect you. The fact is, Mr. President that - "

"I'm getting no respect, no respect at all!"

"Yes, Mr. President, not even from your dog, Barney. The way things are going for you now, Barney's favorite bone is your arm."

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© 2007, Tom Purcell