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Rabbi Hillel Goldberg
EACH NIGHT, as 4-year-old Sarah is tucked into bed by her parents, they say the Shema: "Hear O Israel, the L-rd our G-d, the L-rd is One." After many nights, Sarah finally asks:
"Mommy, when will the L-rd be two?"
And so we have the title of a new book by Ruth Seligman and Jonathan Mark (Kensington), collecting all those cute remarks that kids make (such as our son's excuses for not cleaning his room, "My feet's has a stomach ache"; or, "you're making me like a slave to Pharaoh!").
This is a book about being Jewish; specifically, a child's view of being Jewish. As in what G-d does:
"G-d makes the world round. If it gets straight He gets really, really mad." Grace, age 4
"Since He created the world, He makes sure it keeps going by making more seeds and more stores. He makes sure no one person could be in a pickle, like when you can't make up your mind." Moriah, age 6
As in who G-d is:
"G-d lives in the world and in the Temple, which is His house. When the blue light is on over the Ark where the Torahs are, that means He's home." Richard, age 4
The Ten Commandments:
"There are actually not ten commandments. There are one hundred sixty thousand." Jonathan, age 11
"There's don't commit adultery. That's what President Clinton did." Ben, age 12
What the Sabbath is:
"G-d said everyone should have the day off, like He did." Timothy, age 8
"G-d rested after making the world. G-d made bugs, fish, worms, people, trees, fruits and vegetables. Since then He also made appliances that help Him make more stuff. He keeps creating more people and more people and grass and seeds so everything can keep starting over again." Sara, age 7
What Rosh Hashanah is:
What a child would talk to G-d about on Yom Kippur:
"I tell G-d everything I did wrong, but I want to know who G-d talks to." Israel, age 5
Purim:
"On Purim, we wear costumes because Esther's name means hidden, and Esther hid that she was a Jew and pretended to be something else so we dress up in costumes so we can be hidden and no one knows who we are." Sara Noa, age 7
Simchas Torah:
"On Simchas Torah, we finish reading the Torah and start reading it all over again because there's always new stuff coming into your mind and each time you read it you get at least 10 different new ideas, and rabbis usually say something different about each chapter. Well, some rabbis." Noa, age 8
My favorite holiday:
"I like the holidays because I spend them with Mommy, Abba and my brother and everyone in the whole world who is my friend." Rachel, age 4
What people eat on Jewish holidays:
"Eggs and tears." Mali, age 4
"Latkes and chocolate money." Benny, age 5
What people do in the synagogue:
"I bother my mom." Morgan, age 8
"They pray and sit on chairs. You also learn not to cut the Torah in half, and not to cut the rabbi's head off." Ephraim, age 5
What prayer means:
"When you pray, sometimes you think you hear a response, but G-d doesn't understand the human language. Maybe there's another language G-d understands, like body language or telepathy. When you have a good feeling about something, I think maybe He or She -- that's how I refer to G-d -- puts that feeling into you." Josh, age 11
What I pray for:
"For the Yankees to win." Timothy, age 8
"I pray that poor people won't starve." Arianna, age 6
What I like about being Jewish:
"I think some other religions are too commercial. I like being Jewish because it's not commercial." Evan, age 9
Question:
"When G-d writes in the book of life at Rosh Hashanah, is G-d writing in cursive or printing?" Micah, age 8
Last but not least, Chanukah:
"Chanukkah is about the bad King Antiochus. But not all kings are bad. There was Martin Luther King Jr." Rebecca, age
(Religious) children say the darndest things
"G-d created the world. Before that everything was in a mess. But first G-d said, 'Let there be light,' because He had to have
light to clean up the mess." Avital, age 4
"Rosh Hashanah is a holiday when the Jewish people got out of Egypt." Eddie, age 5
"Passover, because the night before you go to California, you play a game called cleaning the house. You use a candle and a
feather to find crumbs." Donni, age 4
JWR contributor Rabbi Hillel Goldberg is the executive editor of the
Intermountain Jewish News and the author of several books on Jewish themes.
