A second-tier President, a skirt-chasing husband and bouts of disgraceful behavior in retirement. Oh, there's one more thing about Bill Clinton. He's become the best argument against letting his wife get near the Oval Office.
Before Barack Obama thinks of saying yes to Hillary Clinton's bid to be his running mate, he ought to hear the entire recording of Bubba blowing up over a magazine piece. "Sleaze" and "slimy" and "scumbag" were how the former President described the author.
But it's the charges Clinton throws at him that Obama will especially want to hear. Bill Clinton's accusation that Obama was behind the Rev. Michael Pfleger's attack on Hillary last week can't possibly help Hillary's chances of being on the ticket, whatever else her virtues.
Clinton later called his tirade "inappropriate," but not before his office put out a 2,500-word manifesto detailing all our Great Leader has done. Chief among them: "President Clinton has helped save the lives of 1,300,000 people in his postpresidency."
He's a saint, who knew?
He has done some good works through his William J. Clinton Foundation, including forging agreements with drug companies to lower the price of HIV/AIDS medicines in poor countries that, the foundation says, benefit those 1.3 million people. There are programs on economic development, disaster relief, environmental issues, literacy and child health.
It's a fine after-life for an impeached President who is still only 61. It's also a lucrative gig, with financial reports showing the Clintons made nearly $110 million in recent years, almost half from his speeches.
The problem is the rest of the story, as Vanity Fair tells it. Clinton has mysterious financial ties and makes questionable introductions of associates to foreign governments, some of whom have contributed to his causes and may have business before the government Hillary wants to run.
No Clinton story would be complete without reports of bimbo eruptions, and Vanity Fair obliges. By far, the charge is more salacious than documented, but, with Clinton, history proves it's probably safe to assume the worst.
For Obama, that fascinating prospect has to cause concern about running with Hillary, especially after he had such success running against her. By taking her on, Obama also takes Bubba on and becomes vulnerable to everything he says and does.
And if there is one thing Vanity Fair is clearly right about, it's that nobody knows what Bubba will do next. The fact that he was able to hijack much of the news coverage during the final days of the campaign shows the danger of his undisciplined and unbecoming rage.
Much of that rage was aimed at Obama in the recorded tirade. After he trashed the Vanity Fair author, Clinton outlined a vast conspiracy against Hillary. "It's part of the national media's attempt to nail Hillary for Obama," he told a reporter for the Huffington Post. "It's just the most biased press coverage in history. It's another way of helping Obama."
Clinton then suggested Obama encouraged Pfleger's attack on Hillary in Obama's former church.
"They had all these people standing up in this church cheering, calling Hillary a white racist, and he didn't do anything about it," Bill Clinton said. "The first day he said, 'Ah, ah, ah, well.' Because that's what they do - he gets other people to slime her."
By any standard, Bill Clinton has led a blessed life. He's received every honor - including wealth - his country can bestow. Yet somehow he sees himself a victim and feels at liberty to lash out in sweeping ways.
That's often been a problem for Hillary, but if she joins the ticket, Bill Clinton will be Obama's problem, too.