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December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review June 20, 2011 / 18 Sivan, 5771

Why fathers will always matter

By Kathleen Parker

Kathleen Parker


http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | This marks my 24th Father’s Day as a columnist, my 26th since my son uttered “Dada,” and my 16th since my own father joined the legions of Interesting People in the Hereafter.

Which is to say, there seems hardly anything new to add to the thoughts I’ve expressed so often before. But then I am reminded that every day, a fresh crop of men become new fathers, and others lay to rest their own. And sadly, more and more children never have a father, at least not the kind that shows up every day to do the things only fathers do.

My decades in the column business inform me that at this point — right about paragraph three — single moms start to get huffy and alienated dads get teary. Single moms are heroic, our culture tells us, and any suggestion to the contrary is heresy punishable by a suspension of sisterhood. Note: They are heroic sometimes, and sometimes not.

As for alienated dads? A shame in some instances, a sham in others. The mere donor who dons the mantle of victimhood belongs to the latter category. The thousands (or millions) of fathers who through no choice of their own — and often for no good reason — are denied access to their children are often heroic in their own right.

These observations are so familiar by now that it’s wearisome to repeat them, yet despite all we know about the tragedy of fatherlessness, we do very little to change the game. While government agents and bounty hunters feel virtuous for collecting child support, we do little else to improve the lot of fatherless children or to insist that fathers do matter and that their incremental elimination from the family equation — physically, emotionally and spiritually — is the greatest error in modern human history.

It is simply easier to deal with the consequences of fatherless America — to build more prisons, extend more welfare, track down deadbeats and medicate distracted children — than to look ourselves squarely in the mirror. We are not suffering a bout of misguided thinking or benign neglect in these matters. Rather, the minimizing of fatherhood as an institution has been amply considered and, at least by some in positions of influence, fatherhood has been determined to be not that essential.

This conclusion is so wrong as to be criminal. Fathers are essential in such obvious ways that it’s heartbreaking to think anyone doesn’t know it. This is not to imply that all men who contribute to the creation of the planet’s little darlings are necessarily good fathers. Neither can we insist that all women who bring unto the earth the fruit of their loins are deserving of their own Hallmark day. Such is life in the animal kingdom.

But social science and life demonstrate that children without fathers are at greater risk for all the pathologies parents and societies dread: early sexual experimentation, drug abuse, poor school performance, delinquency, truancy and the low self-esteem that inevitably leads to more problems in adulthood, not the least of which is replication of the broken-family template. On the whole, meanwhile, most men make good enough fathers and all children but the most brainwashed want one.

It isn’t possible to assign blame to one individual or institution for these circumstances. It’s the culture. Our general disregard for fathers except on this day is a systemic affliction. We’ve been paddling around in the men-bad-stupid-and-unnecessary marinade for decades now, instructed by messages from sitcoms to policies that women can do it all. Though technically true, children need more than households where the trains run on time. They also need the chaos of free-ranging males — messy but fun. (I say this as a once-single mother who, with the subsequent help of a husband/father extraordinaire, raised three boys to manhood.)

Granted, my argument is somewhat diluted by the errant behavior of certain free-ranging males of the political variety. A complete list of offenders is longish for this space, but we should resist the urge to indict half the population owing to the behaviors of a relative few.

Thus, with charity toward none of the bad guys, we honor the battalions of good ones who have toiled quietly and valiantly to bring home the bacon, show up at the recital, applaud the score, check the locks, banish the monsters, and solve all the world’s problems with a daddy hug.

We could live without them, but why would anyone want to?

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