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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Sept. 19, 2008 / 19 Elul 5768

I want to have Sarah Palin's baby

By Julia Gorin


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I don't mean that in a romantic way. I'm talking about Trig. How cute is he! No doubt even the most avid pro-abortionist was thinking as much when little Trig was on the convention stage with the rest of the Palin family. I wouldn't be surprised if Palin's choice started a new fad: Everyone is going to want to get themselves a Down Syndrome baby—a breed that's almost extinct, with 80 to 90 percent of pregnancies being terminated when the prenatal test shows Down.


As mother of a Down Syndrome child Patricia Bauer wrote in the Washington Post in 2004: "Prenatal testing is making your right to abort a disabled child more like 'your duty' to abort a disabled child…At a dinner party not long ago, I was seated next to the director of an Ivy League ethics program. In answer to another guest's question, he said he believes that prospective parents have a moral obligation to undergo prenatal testing and to terminate their pregnancy to avoid bringing forth a child with a disability, because it was immoral to subject a child to the kind of suffering he or she would have to endure."


Well no more. In fact, now that the country has had a taste of Trig, people are going to be aborting if the baby doesn't have Down Syndrome. The Special Olympics will be more watched than the unspecial Olympics (though they won't likely ever happen in Beijing, where a limp can keep a student from getting accepted into a good college).


In fact, if hypothetically I were to have sex with my husband in the next eight years, I could very well end up with a Down Syndrome baby of my own. My relatives keep warning me about that when they try to scare me into having kids before the age of 40:


"Your eggs will dry up!"


"Your uterus will fall out!"


"You'll be an old woman!"


"You won't be able to take care of children!"


"They'll be retarded!"


I answer: So what?! The way I see it, any kid is going to be a pain in the behind and is physically exhausting, what with the chasing around a parent has to do as a constant spotter for the child, whose primary directive is to get himself or herself killed in the first six years of life. So if I get one that's a little slow, that's less chasing around I'll have to do. It'll be perfect: I'll be retired and the kid'll be retarded. Between the time I throw the Frisbee and the time the kid retrieves it, I can get all my napping in. And I can still become a stage mom and force the kid to live out my dreams for me. Just look at Corky from "Life Goes On." That's right — we've been killing off Corky, that lovable, tenacious TV character. At least that kid had an acting career, which is more than I can say for myself. I've never passed an audition, but the Down kid did.


I'll tell you what they should have a prenatal test for — to see if a baby is allergic to nuts. That's some defective stuff right there. At least a Down Syndrome kid isn't going to die from a peanut. Who ever heard of dropping dead from a Planters? Every dessert has traces of nuts. Not being able to eat dessert?! Now there's a handicap for life. Is that a life worth living?


Palin must have enjoyed hearing the Left-propelled rumors that Trig was actually her teenage daughter's baby. Everyone knows that chances of having a Down baby increase to 25% after age 40, so how could anyone doubt the baby belonged to 44 year-old Palin rather than 17 year-old Bristol? What Palin may not know is that having a baby after the age of 40 — whether it's your first or fifth child and whether it's disabled or not — seriously diminishes the unpleasant symptoms associated with menopause. The relatives and medical books don't tell you that, do they?! I had to find it out in Spanish from three Peruvian sisters at a barbecue. This was later confirmed to me by an aunt who otherwise disagrees with everything I say.


So Sarah Palin is one lady who can look forward to not having hot flashes interrupt important vice-presidential meetings—without worrying about getting cancer from the hormone-laden drugs every other menopausal female is prescribed.


The woman is an all-around inspiration to women like me, who are putting off the maternity ward until we're in the geriatrics ward. And if the prenatal test shows Down, I'm down with it. But if the test shows a peanut allergy…

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Julia Gorin is a widely published op-ed writer and comedian who blogs at www.JuliaGorin.com She's the author of the just-published "Clintonisms: The Amusing, Confusing, and Even Suspect Musing, of Billary". Comment by clicking here.

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© 2008, Julia Gorin.

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