In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Feb. 10, 2006 / 12 Shevat, 5766

Living an extraordinary ordinary life

By Rabbi David Aaron

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The Divine becomes believable only when life becomes unbelievable

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Once I was walking down the street with my two-year-old son. He looked up and saw something fly by in the sky. He was just beginning to talk, so he said in his limited Hebrew, "Abba, ze," meaning, "Daddy, that."

I looked up, and replied, "Oh, that's a bird."

My son repeated, "Bird."

I felt really good; I'm an adult teaching him how to see the world and how to say the word, "bird."

Then, all of a sudden, another bird went flying by. My son said "Oh, Abba, ze."

I replied, "That's also a bird."

I could see in my son's eyes the confusion. How could they both be birds? They're so different.

You see what happens — we get used to experiencing reality by labelling everything. We cease seeing this amazing, unique, flying creature; we just slap an easy label onto it — "bird." We become existential file clerks. That creature goes under "bird." Finished. We stop seeing ze, the indescribable "that".

The Kabbalah tells us that at certain times in the Torah the term Ze, "That," alludes to G-d. The goal is to be able to see "That" without labels, without preconceptions. Labels prevent us from directly experiencing reality; they obliterate our vision, and prevent us from seeing G-d. We have to train ourselves to see that which is, without defining or comparing to anything else.

Children have the capacity to see pure uniqueness. We have come up with so many precise labels and definitions. We think we know whatever it is we are encountering. But children know better. They know that they don't know what it is. And that openness allows them to really see what they are looking at.

Children see something and they are struck with awe. What does it mean to be struck with awe? It's a little like seeing fireworks. When we see fireworks, we exclaim "ohhhhhhh," "ahhhhhhh." We're so dazzled, we simply have no words.

That moment when you see a waterfall, or a rainbow, or a stormy sea, or a new born baby, and you are overwhelmed with feeling of reverence and wonder, when you are so struck with amazement at G-d's brilliance and genius that you can only utter "ahhhhh," that is awe. And it is the beginning of seeing G-d. It is the beginning of seeing reality, of seeing what is real rather than looking at the world through a filter of your interpretations and categorizations of what is real.

To see the extraordinary in the ordinary, you need eyes of wonder. "Eyes of wonder" are eyes of innocence, eyes not jaded and obscured by preconceptions. "Eyes of wonder" take nothing for granted, the ordinary is a miracle; the everyday is a surprise.

Most adults have lost the art of wonder. We have to re-learn it from innocents — babies, toddlers, our children. Children can teach us how to see G-d in the wonders of the everyday. The Torah refers to the Israelites as the Children of Israel. We are meant to never lose our childlike innocence and openness.

In fact, it's been said that in ages past a prophet had to be an adult child. A prophet was an adult who had evolved intellectually and yet had not lost the sensitivity and surprise and amazement that a child constantly experiences.

I get a great kick watching my children watch the world. I watch my baby look at things. He looks at each object as if he's never seen it before. He is so surprised by it. He's surprised by his own hand. He can sit there and look at his hand for the longest time as if it's the most fascinating object. And he just giggles and laughs.

The first step to living an extraordinary ordinary life is to see the world without knowledge, without expectations, without the demand that the world fit into our ideas and definitions. Just see it. Once we have experienced seeing it, knowledge will be a helpful, although limited, tool to communicate what we have seen, but we can never allow it to interfere with what we understood before the labels and categories.


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Perhaps that is why for the first two years of life, a child experiences the world without really understanding words and without the ability to speak. Childhood is a time for wonder. We have to spend some time in wonder before we can start using knowledge to define, evaluate and clarify. Words are great, but if they substitute wonder then we lose our direct experience with reality.

The greatest obstacle to seeing life with the eyes of wonder is our conviction that we have to understand, label and categorize everything we see.

Our mental filing cabinet gives us a sense of being in control. When an experience comes along, we know right where to file it. But, if we need to understand everything, we can never see that which is beyond understanding. When everything is comprehensible, we're blind to the incomprehensible and the extraordinary.

This realization hit me like a ton of bricks at the birth of my first child. My wife Chana and I did all the birthing prep courses and read all the books we could get our hands on. But when that baby came into the world, I was literally in total shock. Even after all the knowledge I had accumulated I was completely taken by surprise. It was clear to me that even seeing is not believing. Only then I discovered that G-d becomes believable only when life becomes unbelievable.

One day my son Yehuda asked me how is it that when it is day for us in Israel, it is night for Grandpa and Grandma in Canada? I took a tennis ball and a basketball to demonstrate how the earth (the tennis ball) rotates on its axis and circles the sun (the basketball). As I am explaining this simple concept and feeling delighted to share this very basic knowledge with my son, I see the incredulous look on his face.

Suddenly I got a glimpse of how all this looks to my son's pure eyes of wonder. I then realized how utterly arrogant of me to think that I could actually explain the movement of the universe. My son's expression communicated to me how unbelievable it all was.

This is the meaning of the verse in Psalm 111: "The beginning of true wisdom is awe of G-d." The beginning of wisdom is awe, to see what is there, not through the filters of your words or your concepts or your biases.

Seeing life with the eyes of awe and wonder means to see without any expectations to understand, without trying to fit it into whatever we already know. Rather than trying to adapt what we see to our minds we must adapt our minds to what is. Awe and wonder is an act of surrender. I give my mind over to what is, rather then expect what is to fit into my mind.

Have you ever looked at an incredibly inspiring scene and said, "Wow, this is so beautiful. It's just like a post card." Your head is full of post cards. And when you see the Grand Canyon, for example, instead of allowing your mind to be blown away by the colossal magnitude and beauty, you shrink the experience down to fit the mental postcard. You do not see what is; you see post cards. Instead of allowing yourself to adapt to reality in all its grandeur and glory, you try to adapt reality to your concepts, to your frame of reference. This is the opposite of seeing with eyes of wonder.

After their Exodus from Egypt the Jewish People wandered in the desert for 40 year. During that time they ate manna (the original wonder bread) — a food stuff that miraculously fell from the sky daily. On Fridays, however, a double portion would suddenly appear in preparation for Sabbath. The two loafs of bread (challah) present at the festive Sabbath meal reminds us of this miraculous double portion. What's the message?

Imagine you're in the desert and suddenly food falls from the sky. You are awestruck by this outright miracle. But then it happens day after day and the awe wears off. It just becomes part of the ordinary. Along comes the sixth day and suddenly double the amount appears and you realize that what seemed to be ordinary is really extraordinary and miraculous; behind the natural is the supernatural.

Sabbath breaks our weekly routine. It reminds us to see the extraordinary in the ordinary and celebrate the miracle of our everyday lives. But to do this you have to stop taking life for granted. To see the extraordinary in the ordinary, you need eyes of wonder and see the wonder in your daily bread.

               — Adopted from Seeing G-d: Ten Life-Changing Lessons of the Kabbalah

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JWR contributor Rabbi David Aaron is the founder and dean of Isralight, an international organization with programming in Israel, New York South Florida, Philadelphia, Los Angeles and Toronto. He has taught and inspired thousands of Jews who are seeking meaning in their lives and a positive connection to their Jewish roots.

He is the author of the newly released, The Secret Life of G-d, and Endless Light: The Ancient Path of Kabbalah to Love, Spiritual Growth and Personal Power , Seeing G-d and Love is my religion. (Click on links to purchase books. Sales help fund JWR.) He lives in the old City of Jerusalem with his wife and their seven children.

© 2005, Rabbi David Aaron