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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Oct. 23, 2009 / 5 Mar-Cheshvan 5770

America's new criminal profiling: SWC (Succeeding While Conservative)

By Dave Weinbaum



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | On a dark humid Florida night a black sedan meanders toward a mansion where a meeting is to take place about an investment opportunity. A Racial Justice Patrol Car, with a SCB (Successful Conservative Bulletin) taped to its dash, sirens screaming, lights flashing, headlights beaming on high blinding anyone looking back, compels a pullover.


The two officers, guns drawn, loudspeakers in the other hand shout, "Get out of the car--NOW!" A slimmed down radio talk show host exits, EIB microphone in hand. The racial cops scream, "Put your hands on the car and keep your big mouth away from the mike!"


Host: "Are you arresting me?"


Weapons cocked and aimed, the two race cops yell, "We told you to SHUT UP! You have the need to remain silent while we convict you of racial hatred without a single shred of evidence! You will own no professional sports team or any other business in the USA. You have the right to leave the country as long as you leave your EIB microphone here. Is that clear?!"


As Jesse and Al lower their loudspeakers, secular progressives, far lefties, all news organizations except Fox, an NFL owner, a smattering of football players and an assortment of Obama sycophants are orgasmic in their response. It's reminiscent of millions of Germans in the 30's screaming for that little nut with the mustache as he blasted the reasons for German "living space" and scapegoating of the Jews.


Jesse: "We have permission to determine who has access to the NFL from Dear Leader for backing away from my statement saying I wanted to "cut his (Obama's) nuts off."


Al: "We approved Keith Olbermann telecasting Sunday Night Football. We Race Cops are proud of his non-divisive comments such as you saying your success paved the way for Glenn Beck '…is like congratulating yourself for spreading syphilis.' We also didn't bat an eye when Michael 'Canine Killer' Vick returned. We look the other way at the plethora of criminal activity that takes place almost every day by players and coaches in the NFL."


Host: "But officer this is America . . . "


Racial cops: "We warned you!" Suddenly a Taser whizzes by, followed by screams plunging through the thick humid South Florida air. The victim, quivering while squealing, collapses to the asphalt ending up as a sobbing twitching mass.


Jesse: "What the *@#$! did you do to me, Al?!"


Sharpton: "Sorry bro, me bad."


Jesse: "Do you think you can aim the squad car at a hospital, you dummy? Dinkens and Hannity were right about you! Just avoid the Hymie part of town!"


Al: "At least we don't have to pass through Crown Heights with all the black-hatted, bearded diamond merchants!"


As Jesse laughs through his tears, they motor away, sirens screaming, forgetting their intended victim for the time being.


The results of this imaginary yet symbolic fiction are well-known. Outspoken non-racist conservative, Rush Limbaugh is prevented from exercising his right as an American to invest in a professional football team by Commissar Roger Goodell who described Limbaugh as "divisive." Yet Goodell and the NFL owners embrace ref threatening Serena "I'll shove a ball down your throat" Williams, J "No more white lies, my president is black" Zee and "@$%&ing all over the world you *&%$(#ing b^($#@es" Fergie as the new pride and joy of NFL proprietors.


Now there's some NFL family values for ya.


So who is the replacement for Limbaugh going to be?


My sources tell me that the new Rams investor will be the all-knowing, all-magnificent Nobel Peace Prize winner, President of the Universe, Dear Leader, Barack Hussein Obama. Rumor is he'll be bringing in Anita Mao Tse Dunn in as general manager who favors the famous Chinese "take no prisoners" strategy. Hey, I'm a Ram season ticket holder. At 0-6 it's worth a shot!


I can't wait to see the reaction of those same players, coaches and owners who dissed Rush, as our president imposes the same 90% salary cuts on the NFL as he's now inflicting on Wall Streeters after he weaseled his way into ownership there.


Then we'll know those hits on Sunday will be from real not 'roid rage.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum hosts DaveWeinbaum.com. He is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic and resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.



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