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Jewish World Review Sept. 18, 2007 / 6 Tishrei 5768 Don't lose your head: Vote for Osama By Dave Weinbaum http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Osama announces run for president of the United States Like Larry Craig's toe tapping stall outing, Osama bin Laden has come out of the cave, looking fab in his newly coiffered and blackened beard. Startling the American public with a plan that crossed many lines, Osama has thrown his turban into the ring. Below is bin Laden's agenda for an Islamic America: America : Just say "NO" to democracy • No Democracy-Exactly what Democrats are pushing, with universal health care, socialism, control of Judges, filibusters when they can't control the vote. • No elections-Just in case you get another stupid idea of electing an infidel like Bush. • Everyone to convert to Islam-A jihadist in every house-Learn the religion of "peace"…or else. • Madrasahs for the kids of the west-We will teach your children to throw themselves while bomb strapped at anyone left in the world that would profess a religion other than theirs…just like the rest of the Muslim world. • Woman's rights — ROFLMAO!! You're kidding, right? • Low taxes-only a flat 2.5% for everyone-talk about appealing to the right wing! • Immediate withdrawal from Iraq and all Arab/Muslim countries-better get that steam technology back cause you ain't getting' any more of the greasy stuff. We're selling it to the Russians and the Chinese. • Israel swept into the Mediterranean-not literally-just the six million Jewish citizens that live there. • Dissolve all major corporations and jail all company officers for reeducation in Madrasahs throughout the formerly fruited plains. • An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth-only AFTER you convert, otherwise we are allowed to blind you and take away your dental. • Abolish the Democratic Party (before they do it to themselves)-The party that was elected to carry out my agenda has shown itself to be a paper tiger. Too bad they didn't have the Chutzpah to overthrow Bush as they promised. They are, however, primed to accept Shia law. BTW, that does include Hillary's war chest and her Hong Kong "special" phone book. "There is no photograph of Satan, so we must improvise what we have: Osama bin Laden" — Cal Thomas Now, let's get serious. The more al-Qaeda and its leaders, bin Laden and Zawahiri, talk the more their inflexible murderous evilness is revealed. Somehow this fact has escaped the liberal press. I would challenge anyone to come up with a tenth of NY Times stories or op-eds negative to bin Laden and al-Qaeda compared to those pieces that slander Bush and his administration. Also, I don't recall a page disparaging Osama and his ilk similar to the "General Petraeus, General Betray us" libel, run in the Times yesterday, do you? Just how self hating has the liberal press become? Those who rise from ashes should never forget what it's like to be under fire With or without liberals, it's up to us to stop these 7th century child murderers. More important, it's time that "moderate" Muslims shoulder some of the load by publicly denouncing the miscreants that have hijacked their religion. It's not good enough just to whisper it in private. Even al-Qaeda's fellow Sunnis are tired of seeing their children used as pawns and innocent Muslim families murdered. They have done a 380 and are now killing al-Qaeda, fighting alongside US Marines. For those who equate all religions with Islamofacism let me remind you: Christians don't murder those that don't convert to Christianity at least not for the last 500 years. Jews don't murder those that don't convert to Judaism. Hindus, Shinto, Sikhs, Buddhists, Taoists, ad infinitum, don't murder innocents that don't convert to their religions. There is no negotiating with people that think G-d wants them to kill us. We need to fight them until they change or give up, just like the Nazis in WW2. No matter how long or how many generations this war lasts, it's a war we must fight and a war we must win. It's the only way to keep our heads about us. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here. Archives © 2005, Dave Weinbaum

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