In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 17, 2007 / 3 Elul, 5767

Golf: It's the hole thing

By Dave Weinbaum

Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Last Sunday I spent a fun day with grandchildren, son and wife. We splashed all day at the pool. My kin went back to their house and my lovely mate had some chores.

Left to my own design, I decided to do one of the things I love most: golf.

Never get golf mixed up with exercise.

So in the late afternoon heat (100 +) I packed my cart with cold wet towel and a thermos of ice water. Warming up as per my usual 1/2 bucket of balls, I headed out to the dazzling lime fairways to once again do battle with my brain into delivering a smooth swing with the right weapon.

I was in rhythm with the world

I smacked my first drive 300 yards downhill and downwind. Then I stuck a wedge 5ft from the pin and sank the putt. Usually, I go 5 rounds in a row without as much as a birdie. A little fist pump, not too much…like I expect that to happen on every hole…just like Tiger.

Good start…"Weinbaum's one under after one" I could hear Johnny Miller announce to the millions glued to their TV's.

I knew a golfer that was so unlucky that when they went to bury him, he lipped out.

The second hole brought me back to reality: a poorly driven lake skimming slice ending on the next tee box, followed by an over-chipped thrice putted disaster.

Double bogie.

Back to normal…two holes, one over par.

Miller is silent.

The most lost and found thing is your golf swing.

The third hole is another par three back over water about 145 yards, all carry. I was now facing the big hot wind. I chose a 6+ hybrid, on the theory that if I hit it high I'd avoid the lake and maybe, just maybe, the Southeaster would knock it down on the green.

The swing was smooth. The ball skied high like I planned, but I immediately got the sense that I flew the green, leaving a tough downhill chip. I didn't see the ball land…bad sign. My cart hummed up the lake skirting path, as cold towel soothed my sweaty bald dome. I took a long swig of ice water from my thermos.

Back to work.

The first thing I noticed was a huge round aperture scarring the green like a small meteorite had slammed straight down from space. It was 5' directly behind the pin with no ball in sight. Scanning the front of the green, just in case I had suddenly developed an amazing skill to yank a ball backward ala Tiger, I saw nothing. I even looked in the lake. Who was I kidding? I golf like O'Reilly (thinks he) talks…no spin.

No luck…or should I say good omen?

At least my ball was dry.

Resigned to being over the green, I trudged uphill to fix my divot, Sand wedge and putter clanking in left hand, divot repair tool in my right.

As one passes any hole on the way to a King Kong shot that should have been more Minnie Mouse, one must take the obligatory, yet hidden glance at the deceptive little cup pinned in the middle with a flag dancing on top to the hot wind.

A semi-muddy white orb winked eerily at me…from the bottom. I looked up, waited 5 seconds and looked down again. Same sight…my ball…in the hole.


I got a HOLE IN ONE!!!


Wait a minute, not so fast…what's wrong with this picture? No one was around. Can I get a WITNESS HERE? I did a quick 360. This was the first time I didn't see a soul on that course for the last 30 years.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed. This is a golfer's nightmare.

Where's that Johnny Miller when you really need him?

I called the one person I could trust, golfing bud, lover, best friend and wife, Joni.

She laughed so hard, I thought she was going to break a rib.

I used to be a bowler, but I had no time to spare

With the passage of a few days, I'm settled with it.

I know my achievement.

In years to come, people will forget to inquire as to witnesses when I retell this story…at least those that don't know me.

Now, let me tell you about the 300 game I bowled a month ago.

Sadly there were no witnesses, but…

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.


© 2005, Dave Weinbaum