Home
In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review July 6, 2007 / 20 Tamuz, 5767

CHA CHUNG! The Saga of the Missing Pants and the Judge that Pined Over Them

By Dave Weinbaum


Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Growing up In the Midwestern town of Skokie, ILL., I had a pair of lucky socks. They were normal every day socks, until something unusual happened when I wore them over a period of time.


I could do little or no wrong with these socks. At age 13 I was on the luckiest streak of my life. My teams won. I got hits, scored goals. My grades improved. The prettiest girl in school looked into my eyes and smiled.


The dirtier and smellier they got, the cooler my life became.


One day, I couldn't find my pair of lucky footsies. I grew anxious, sweated profusely, and had a tummy ache. My mind dizzied itself with suicidal panic.


Then Mom 'fessed up.


She told me those sox were so worn she was scared our neighbors would think we were poor. She said, "We're a no holes new socks family! They'll throw us out of town!"


I had to remind Mom that some of my buddies in the hood wore torn, ancient pass me downs, and their parents felt the money saved was a lot more important than what SHE thought about them.


After whacking me and sending me to my room, I felt emotional distress, discriminated upon because of my gender, tender age, and size. I was sure my life was ruined.


Those sox had value.


What choice did I have?!


I sued my Mom for her unauthorized disposal of my pair of stinky, holy socks. The damages sought? $64 million! Knowing full well that my dollar a week allowance wouldn't buy much legal advice, I served as my own lawyer.


It didn't get to court.


We settled.


She bought me a new pair of socks and replicated the holes from her memory of the zillions of times she washed them. Plus she took me to McDonald's and treated me to a fish sandwich, fries and a vanilla shake.


Making money is easy, if you have the ink and paper.


DC Judge Roy Pearson must have somehow got a hold of the pleadings from my 45 year old sox case. Serving as his own lawyer, he brought suit against those that lost his trousers to DC Superior Court. Hey, you've got to give him credit for some pretty thorough research. Plus, just not to look like a copycat, he sued for $65 million, one mill more than my damages.


The perps? A Korean American family that owns and operates a dry cleaner in DC.


For us small business owners, this kind of abuse is always looming in our future…and past. How many of these frivolous fraudulent attacks can we survive? Will we lose or be unable to get insurance? How do we pay the lawyers needed to defend us, as well as our bank loans, rent, wages, health insurance, etc., etc?


Should we settle just to mitigate our costs and risks, even though there's no way we should lose? Will we need to declare bankruptcy?


Thankfully, after careful consideration, fellow DC Judge Bartnoff ruled against Judge Pearson and for the cleaners. She also directed Judge Pearson to pay court costs and the Chung's legal fees.


Still, the collection of these funds from an imbecilic and cash strapped Judge Pearson will be iffy at best.


The Chungs are still at peril. Plus who pays for the Chung's lost business and anxiety caused by this exploitation?


When Judge Pearson gets fitted for some new pants, he ought to try on a muzzle, too.


The average American can't afford the legal system


When are we going to get some common sense in our legal system? Judges need to quit wasting OUR time and OUR tax dollars with idiotic law suits, court hours that could be used to clear the dockets of legitimate beefs.


There is the Rule Eleven that's supposed to take fraudulent suits down to a reasonable phenom, but judges have shown reluctance in using it…maybe because they are lawyers that pulled and got away with the same scam as Pearson tried.


The solution?


Go Euro style. Losers pay all court and legal fees on BOTH sides. I'm told that continent carries a third to half less suits per capita as the USA.


Under THAT system, we can say one thing to those that are determined to flood our courts with fraudulent extortion suits.


KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF!

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.



Archives


© 2005, Dave Weinbaum

Columnists

Toons

Lifestyles