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Jewish World Review June 11, 2010 / 29 Sivan 5770 The Silence of the Dem town halls By Dave Weinbaum
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Summer is here. Despite the
"climate change" causing
amazingly cold weather during
spring, warm weather has finally
arrived. Americans know what
that means! Baseball, barbeque
and:
Town Hall Meetin'
and Greetin' season
We can't wait to tell our elected wonders what we think about their job
performance.
That's why I was shocked when I read a story on Drudge about the amount of
Democratic wannabe and actual congressmen who are canceling this summer's
reality show: Politics Jerry Springer style.
After last year's grilling by those wild Nazi Astroturfers (as Pelosi referred to
them), evil mongers (as Harry Reid called them) or as the rest of the world
witnessed, grannies and grandpas, here are this year's meeting plans: Not so
much.
Signs have gone up on venues normally used for Dem Town Halls all over the
country. Here's one:
DUE TO THE FORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCES OF US DEMS
TRYING TO SHOVE THINGS DOWN YOUR THROAT YOU SAID
YOU DIDN'T WANT AT LAST YEAR'S MEETINGS, WE AT THE
DNC HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE A PASS ON TOWN HALLS THIS
PRE-ELECTION SEASON. INSTEAD, PLEASE RELY ON OUR
LYING ADS SANS ALL YOUR YELLING AND SCREAMING. FOR
MORE INFORMATION, CALL "IT'S BUSH'S FAULT".
So wondering wus'up, I called. Here's what I got:
Recording from President Obama:
I, your Dear Leader, Barack Hussein Obama (second grade WH chorus:
Hmmmm Hmmm Hmmm) welcome you to the DNC Red Phone. Please listen
to instructions, as the democracy you once lived in has now shifted to the far left.
2. If you are a Jew calling to kvetch about my abandonment of Israel, call me
back after you move home to Poland or Germany. If you're a Hollywood
Hebe, make your donation check out to "Re-elect Barack Obama 2012"
or "Obama's Anti-Impeachment Legal Defense Fund" - whichever
comes first.
3. If you are a Black Panther with a nightstick/arms order, wait for me in the
Justice Department Party room (recently renamed the "Farrakhan Room")
and don't drink all the Dom Perignon before I get there.
4. If you are a senior citizen upset about HC Death Panels, Medicare cuts,
higher taxes, Social Security or whatever else you pains in the a@@s - I
mean, sweet elderly folks have in your addled brains, write me a nice long
letter. I promise to get back to you - or your survivors - in about twenty
years.
5. If you are an oil executive, I will only respond AFTER the check has
cashed.
6. If you are an illegal alien, I feel your pain and will shortly abide by your
reasonable request to give you and your mentor, the President of Mexico
Calderon, all of the eight border states you are demanding - FREE! And
as a bonus, we'll throw in Louisiana and all its wonderful beaches,
marshlands and fishing industry. If you don't take Governors Brewer and
Jindal, however, the deal is off.
7. If you are applying to be in my "Civilian Militia," please contact the Black
Panthers in the Justice Department's new "Farrakhan Party Room" after
reading Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals.
8. If you are a Democratic Candidate and wish for me to campaign for you,
please hit "star" and I will be happy to appear personally, since my
schedule is clear 'cause no one has called yet.
9. If you are an Islamic terrorist, don't say anything! They must read you your
Miranda Rights. REMAIN SILENT! If out on bail, meet me at the Justice
Department's Farrakhan Room.
10. If you are from SEIU, I LOVE YOU, TOO! XOXOXOXOX. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum hosts DaveWeinbaum.com. He is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic and resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Dave Weinbaum |
Mitch Albom | |||||||||||||
