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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review May 26, 2006 / 28 Iyar, 5766

They never had a day

By Dave Weinbaum


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | It's post Mother's Day. I write this after visiting all my businesses demanding a gift…or at least a card from my employees. When they queried as to the reason, I responded by reminding them that they've been calling me a Mother all year.


Soon it will be Memorial Day, followed by Father's Day, Independence Day and Labor Day.


I mean our nation even celebrates the tanning habits of a rodent: Groundhog Day.


Black Americans have their own month!


Seems we've "Dayed" ourselves into so many retail and travel "events" that it's a sure fire way of growing our economy. If we want business to keep going, Congress needs to pass a law that enacts 2 more celebrations of some deserving person, place, historical moment, or body part annually.


Run out of days? No problem!


We'll double and triple up if necessary. Can proctologist or manicurist day be in our future?


If you can't be a star, be the wind dispersing its' cloud cover


As an American in deep support of my countries' economy, I feel it's my patriotic duty to suggest several more celebrations so we can spend more of our take-home pay on feel-good tripe.

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This could be as effective as the Fed lowering interest rates.

  • Space Adventurer Day-I applied to NASA to become an astronaut, but they ran out of space.

  • Rodney Dangerfield Respect Day-I come from a neighborhood so tough; we used .38 specials as toenail clippers.

  • School Teacher Day-I avoided getting expelled from the 3rd grade. I pled elementary insanity.

  • Corrupt politician Day-How can you tell a politician in a snowball fight? He's the one throwing curveballs.

  • ALGORE Internet Founder Day-I tried having sex online, but the mouse kept getting in the way.

  • Sanitation Engineer Day-Yesterday my wife raced behind the garbage truck shouting, "Am I too late for the trash?" The driver yelled back, "No, jump in!"

  • Musician's Day-I tried out for violin in high school, but only made it to the 3rd string.


You get the idea.


I intend to copy these brilliant retail enhancing schemes to President Bush, Senate Leader Frist, and House Speaker Hastert.


If they like the plan, maybe I'll get my own day.


Call it whatever you like.


Just send golf balls….lots of them!

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.



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