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Jewish World Review
May 9, 2008
/ 4 Iyar 5768
Barack/Hillary ticket: Do two negatives make a positive?
By
Dave Weinbaum
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The cooler heads in the Democratic Party will now anesthetize Hillary, then euthanize her campaign like they did that poor horse in last week's Kentucky Derby.
In case you're from Branson, it's over. Obama has won. Hillary has lost…as fair and as square as democrats can be which if you're from Florida or Michigan ain't saying much.
There is no "I" in team
Yep, Bubba has left the campaign trail. There was a walk-off double in the bottom of the ninth. The fish is on the hook. Elvis has left the building.
Most important; the pantsuit lady is about to sing.
Here's Hillary singing the Leslie Gore (not related to Al) 60's classic "IT'S MY PARTY":
Nobody knows where my mojo has gone.
Barack has left the same time.
Why was he holding super-delegate's hands?
When they're supposed to be mine?
It was my party and I'll cry if I want to,
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to.
You would cry too, if it happened to you!
Giving speeches, campaigning all night,
Leave me alone for a while.
'till Obama's dancing with me,
I've got no reason to smile.
It was my party and I'll cry if I want to,
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to.
You would cry too, if it happened to you!
Bill and Barack just walked through the door,
A redneck and his new king,
Oh what a campaign surprise.
Bill is now his VP
It was my party and I'll cry if I want to,
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to.
You would cry too, if it happened to you!
Just kidding. The Dems have driven me to music… again.
Never fool with a liar or lie with a fool
Once the Dems have dragged Hillary kicking and screaming away from the campaign trail, will Obama offer the vice presidency to the Clintons and will they accept? The pressure on him to offer Billary the second spot will be overwhelming and downright threatening. Why? Because it's "politically correct." Can we get a halleluiah from those living prophets, Carter and McGovern?
Both have negatives in the high 40's and Obama is waning in the heads up polls against McCain, despite his recent victory in NC and his much tighter than expected loss in Indiana.
Hillary's performance, while idiotic via cheap and contradictory campaign promises, was much more relaxed. She has let loose a pixiesque sense of humor, jarring with O'Reilly and claiming unrequited love from that Limbaugh guy.
She was downright flirtatious. I'm going ask her for a referral to her therapist.
I think Billary's answer to Obama will be a double yes, it being the only chance for them to regain some semblance of legacy they so much need.
From Obama's end, he'll be convinced beyond his bad judgment that the Clintons will save the white voters from panicking due to his Reverend Wrong debacle. They'll especially need those pale males now clinging to their guns and religion in small towns throughout the ignorant American plains.
There'll be a lot of testosterone on the
ticket. Too bad none of its Barack's
Okay, so that puts them jiggy with blacks, poor white men, and lots and lots of bitter women.
It'll be the most liberal ticket in history, one that will have terrorists beaming in every cell in the world and caves throughout the Mid East.
They'll be up against John McCain's semi-con Mr. nice guy campaign and whoever he assigns to keep the base.
I grew up on a crocodile farm. I was an only child…eventually
One tip for Obama. Should by some miracle win this fall, I'd request some extra secret service protection, starting with the goings on in the VP residence.
Then I would have some respect for his instincts and his prudence.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.
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