Home
In this issue
April 21, 2014

Andrew Silow-Carroll: Passoverkill? Suggestions to make next year's seders even more culturally sensitive

Sara Israelsen Hartley: Seeking the Divine: An ancient connection in a new context

Christine M. Flowers: Priest's execution in Syria should be call to action

Courtnie Erickson: How to help kids accept the poor decisions of others

Lizette Borreli: A Glass Of Milk A Day Keeps Knee Arthritis At Bay

Lizette Borreli: 5 Health Conditions Your Breath Knows Before You Do

The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom Coconut Walnut Bars' golden brown morsels are a beautifully balanced delectable delight

April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review May 9, 2008 / 4 Iyar 5768

Barack/Hillary ticket: Do two negatives make a positive?

By Dave Weinbaum


Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The cooler heads in the Democratic Party will now anesthetize Hillary, then euthanize her campaign like they did that poor horse in last week's Kentucky Derby.

In case you're from Branson, it's over. Obama has won. Hillary has lost…as fair and as square as democrats can be which if you're from Florida or Michigan ain't saying much.

There is no "I" in team
Yep, Bubba has left the campaign trail. There was a walk-off double in the bottom of the ninth. The fish is on the hook. Elvis has left the building.

Most important; the pantsuit lady is about to sing.

Here's Hillary singing the Leslie Gore (not related to Al) 60's classic "IT'S MY PARTY":


Nobody knows where my mojo has gone.
Barack has left the same time.
Why was he holding super-delegate's hands?
When they're supposed to be mine?


It was my party and I'll cry if I want to,
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to.
You would cry too, if it happened to you!


Giving speeches, campaigning all night,
Leave me alone for a while.
'till Obama's dancing with me,
I've got no reason to smile.


It was my party and I'll cry if I want to,
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to.
You would cry too, if it happened to you!


Bill and Barack just walked through the door,
A redneck and his new king,
Oh what a campaign surprise.
Bill is now his VP


It was my party and I'll cry if I want to,
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to.
You would cry too, if it happened to you!


Just kidding. The Dems have driven me to music… again.


Never fool with a liar or lie with a fool
Once the Dems have dragged Hillary kicking and screaming away from the campaign trail, will Obama offer the vice presidency to the Clintons and will they accept? The pressure on him to offer Billary the second spot will be overwhelming and downright threatening. Why? Because it's "politically correct." Can we get a halleluiah from those living prophets, Carter and McGovern?

Both have negatives in the high 40's and Obama is waning in the heads up polls against McCain, despite his recent victory in NC and his much tighter than expected loss in Indiana.

Hillary's performance, while idiotic via cheap and contradictory campaign promises, was much more relaxed. She has let loose a pixiesque sense of humor, jarring with O'Reilly and claiming unrequited love from that Limbaugh guy.

She was downright flirtatious. I'm going ask her for a referral to her therapist.

I think Billary's answer to Obama will be a double yes, it being the only chance for them to regain some semblance of legacy they so much need.

From Obama's end, he'll be convinced beyond his bad judgment that the Clintons will save the white voters from panicking due to his Reverend Wrong debacle. They'll especially need those pale males now clinging to their guns and religion in small towns throughout the ignorant American plains.


There'll be a lot of testosterone on the
ticket. Too bad none of its Barack's

Okay, so that puts them jiggy with blacks, poor white men, and lots and lots of bitter women.

It'll be the most liberal ticket in history, one that will have terrorists beaming in every cell in the world and caves throughout the Mid East.

They'll be up against John McCain's semi-con Mr. nice guy campaign and whoever he assigns to keep the base.


I grew up on a crocodile farm. I was an only child…eventually
One tip for Obama. Should by some miracle win this fall, I'd request some extra secret service protection, starting with the goings on in the VP residence.

Then I would have some respect for his instincts and his prudence.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.



Archives


© 2005, Dave Weinbaum

Columnists

Toons

Lifestyles