In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 25, 2007 / 7 Iyar, 5767

You shi, I shi, we all shi for sushi

By Dave Weinbaum

Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Eat raw fish? Are you out of your mind? Do you have a death wish? Have you no respect for your stomach? Go look at that ocean. Does that look clean to you?

Fifteen years ago this would have been my response to an invitation to a Sushi joint.

A lot has changed.

Not only do I like raw smoked salmon on top of a sticky rice roll wrapped by a strip of seaweed, dipped in soy sauce with a nip of nostril clearing, tear inducing wasabi, but so does the rest of my family.

And I haven't gotten sick from it…yet.

Okay, there was that time after partaking in a Manhattan sushi eatery, when it took 24 hours and every calming thought I had to keep that rascally sea urchin roll down.

Other than that, the thought of savoring raw fish has induced hardly any nausea.

Once I couldn't say the word "eel" without feeling squeamish. Now I salivate over the possibility of eating the fresh water variety of that snaky slimy fish in its tantalizing "roll" form with its peculiarly enticing brown sauce.

And those little green steaming soy beans you suck out from pods. With a cup of sake, martini, or green tea for the no karaoke, no fun crowd, they're to die for.

Want Atmosphere? Get one of those little curtained rooms with the foot high table and the floor cut out for your feet.

Or walk straight up to the bar, where you can kibbitz the chefs and keep a watchful eye on them while they cut your fresh octopi and raw squid.

It's like Tokyo Cheers! They greet you like a long lost relative.

It's not that everyone knows your name. You couldn't understand them if they spoke it. It's the bowing and kindness in their utterances. Of course they could be cursing up a storm while maintaining that schtooping posture and smiling face, but I don't think so.

So go ahead and try it. What do you have to lose besides your health and life?

If steak isn't on the menu, you have a legitimate beef

As a service to those that are considering the big leap to raw fish, below are a few pointers to make your experience safe and enjoyable.

Never buy sushi on EBay.

Never eat sushi made by a chef who practices Sheryl Crowe's "one square of toilet paper per bathroom visit" solution to saving trees.

If there are no Orientals in a busy sushi restaurant, run, don't walk to the nearest exit. If you happen to set off an alarm, so be it. Maybe you'll wake up a few others before it's too late.

Never eat sushi with a Russian, especially one with a glow about him.

And, while one shouldn't judge a book by it's' cover, these sushi restaurant names should put up some red flags.

The Itchy Crab.

Lice Landic Cod Rolls.

Harry's Antique Shop and Sushi Bar.

The Chum House.

Mudfish Madness.

After all that, if you're still game for uncooked fish, here's a sure way to ingratiate yourself to sushi restaurant chefs and owners:

Act like you're a stupid tourist, which, if you're like me, will be a cinch. Then politely ask the sushi restaurant personnel to explain how they make a spider roll. After letting them go a few sentences, stop them and tell them they don't know what they're talking about. Then explain that YOU know how.

Taking note of their stunned looks, say this, "I'll tell you how to make a spider roll. Cut of its' legs and blow."

I guarantee they'll laugh.

If not, go eat a steak….


Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.


© 2005, Dave Weinbaum