
 |
|
May 24, 2013
May 22, 2013
John Thorne:
They launched the 'Arab Spring' but now yearn for the good old days of a strongman
May 20, 2013
Richard A. Serrano: Is Meir Kahane's assassin now a changed man?
Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction
Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star
The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting
May 13, 2013
Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Why the giving of the document that would permanently change the world could only be done in desolation
David G. Savage: Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church
May 10, 2013
Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be
May 8, 2013
Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas
Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate
Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad
The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility
May 6, 2013
May 3, 2013
Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell
Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine
April 29, 2013
Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust
Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots?
Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed
Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA
April 26, 2013
Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism
Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty
April 24, 2013
|
| |
Jewish World Review
March 2, 2006
/ 2 Adar, 5766
Did Ronald Reagan destroy the Olympics?
By
Dave Weinbaum
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Remember the good old days when we used to hate the USSR, East Germany, and the rest of the Soviet Bloc? We used to rivet ourselves to the tube whenever our boys and girls were shushing down red infested alps or slamming frozen pucks into well guarded Soviet Gulags called nets. We loved to hate those cheatin', evil bastards! The blood doping, masculine hormoned East German swimmers, judge fixing, the gold medal basketball game played until the game was stolen for the Russians AFTER we won?
When we sent a bunch of college hockey kids against the pros from the Soviet Union in 1980, there was almost no hope of even a good showing. We would have been thrilled with a 5 goal margin of defeat. Instead we witnessed the miracle on ice, possibly the most thrilling American Sports underdog victory in our history. Americans watched and went crazy!
YOU CAN'T MAKE BREAD WITHOUT
GOING AGAINST THE GRAIN
All that is gone. We love the Russians and the rest of the Eastern Bloc. Heck, the best of them are making zillions in the NBA and NHL. We're more inclined to hate our old friends the French and the Germans.
Let's face it America, if we're to make the supreme sacrifice and risk the stress of finding our remotes, MUCH LESS CHANGING THE CHANNEL TO THE OLYMPICS, we need somebody to despise on the other side of the ice, court, track, etc,.
I heard the crack execs at NBC have caught wind of this. They have sent Bryant "No One Left to Insult" Gumbel to the caves and spider holes lining the borders of Afghanistan and Pakistan. He met with that amazing sportsman, Iranian President, Ahm'mad. Together they've developed an Olympic program that will titillate even the laziest couch potato of us all. We'll sit up and remote our way into the now most hated rivalry, the USA VS al-Qaeda. Negotiations are ongoing, but I hear these are some of the events they've settled on.
-
Monkey Bar Dash — Must be weighted with 50 lbs. of razor and ball bearing filled suicide vests. Elimination occurs when bomb detonates if you fall before the finish.
-
The Cartoonist Marathon Chase — No explanation offered…or asked for.
-
Israeli Discus Throw — Just how far can one throw the average Jew? This should be an Iranian specialty, since their goal is Austria. Wonder if they'll train on Christians to build up their motivation.
-
Bombsled — Explosive filled toboggans leading to important Muslim and Western buildings with judges giving points for quantity and quality of deaths and patterns of maiming.
-
Cross Country — How many Christian churches can you blow up in a 5 mile race?
-
Virgin high jump — Pile 'em high, if you can find any left after all the martyrs have taken theirs.
-
Freestyle Hijacking — Standardized box cutters used only. Bonus points for 747's and bigger. Must take down at least a 50 story skyscraper to qualify.
-
Molotov Cocktail Archery — A bone thrown to the old USSR to bring back that reminder of our earlier hatreds.
-
Jewdo — The ancient art of wrestling Hebrews out of your country, another primeval Muslim specialty. Points are won if you can convince the world that it's Israel that has conquered the world, while preventing them from actually looking at a map.
-
Blood Curling — Forget that sissy ice shuffle board. This is the test of the viewers of al-Qaeda works and achievements, specializing in beheadings. Last one to flinch, turn eyes, or puke wins the gold.
-
IED Relay — Planting your bomb while passing the detonator to the next terrorist…I mean competitor. First place gets to blow up the slackers.
-
Canoeing — Finally throwing a bone to common knowledge, giving the West some advantage. After all, everyone knows that boats may tip, but Jews don't. However, the UAE is strong at port entries.
While negotiations are ongoing, I think that NBC is well on its way in its Olympic ratings battle with the likes of American Idol. I mean how despicable can Simon Crowell be?
The change of name to the al-Qaedolympics is being heavily resisted. Bin Laden is holding Gumbel as hostage…if anyone cares.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.
Archives
© 2005, Dave Weinbaum
|
|

Arnold Ahlert
Mitch Albom
Jay Ambrose
Michael Barone
Barrywood
Lori Borgman
Stratfor Briefing
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Richard Z. Chesnoff
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Suzanne Fields
Christine Flowers
Frank J. Gaffney
Bernie Goldberg
Jonah Goldberg
Julia Gorin
Jonathan Gurwitz
Paul Greenberg
Argus Hamilton
Victor Davis Hanson
Betsy Hart
Ron Hart
Nat Hentoff
A. Barton Hinkle
Jeff Jacoby
Paul Johnson
Jack Kelly
Ch. Krauthammer
David Limbaugh
Kathryn Lopez
Rich Lowry
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Ann McFeatters
Dale McFeatters
Dana Milbank
Jeanne Moos
Dick Morris
Jim Mullen
Deroy Murdock
Judge A. Napolitano
Bill O'Reilly
Clarence Page
Kathleen Parker
Star Parker
Dennis Prager
Wesley Pruden
Tom Purcell
Sharon Randall
Robert Robb
Cokie & Steve Roberts
Heather Robinson
Debra J. Saunders
Martin Schram
Greg Schwem
Culture Shlock
David Shribman
Roger Simon
Lenore Skenazy
Michael Smerconish
Thomas Sowell
Ben Stein
Mark Steyn
John Stossel
Cal Thomas
Dan Thomasson
Bob Tyrrell
Diana West
Dave Weinbaum
George Will
Walter Williams
Byron York
ZeitGeist
Mort Zuckerman

Robert Arial
Chuck Asay
Baloo
Lisa Benson
Chip Bok
Dry Bones
John Branch
John Cole
J. D. Crowe
Matt Davies
John Deering
Brian Duffy
Everything's Relative
Mallard Fillmore
Glenn Foden
Jake Fuller
Bob Gorrel
Walt Handelsman
Joe Heller
David Hitch
Jerry Holbert
David Horsey
Lee Judge
Steve Kelley
Jeff Koterba
Dick Locher
Chan Lowe
Jimmy Margulies
Jack Ohman
Michael Ramirez
Rob Rogers
Drew Sheneman
Kevin Siers
Jeff Stahler
Scott Stantis
Danna Summers
Gary Varvel
Kirk Walters
Dan Wasserman

Tech Q&A
Mr. Know-It-All
Ask Doctor K
Richard Lederer
Frugal Living
On Nutrition
Bookmark These
Bruce Williams
|