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April 21, 2014

Andrew Silow-Carroll: Passoverkill? Suggestions to make next year's seders even more culturally sensitive

Sara Israelsen Hartley: Seeking the Divine: An ancient connection in a new context

Christine M. Flowers: Priest's execution in Syria should be call to action

Courtnie Erickson: How to help kids accept the poor decisions of others

Lizette Borreli: A Glass Of Milk A Day Keeps Knee Arthritis At Bay

Lizette Borreli: 5 Health Conditions Your Breath Knows Before You Do

The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom Coconut Walnut Bars' golden brown morsels are a beautifully balanced delectable delight

April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Feb. 14, 2006 / 16 Shevat, 5766

If you don't have a leg to stand on, you can't put your foot down

By Dave Weinbaum


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I've had enough! I give up! Some publishers have refused a few of my columns because they're afraid of losing liberals. So, like Superman, I've gone behind the radioactive ice shield, put the green glowing pipe into the left frozen clear tube, and have dredged out all conservative thought, weakening me beyond recognition.


Vacuums crave to be filled. So in my shallow quest to see my name in print, I will now slip on my liberal cape and destroy those evil right wingers. As best as I can discern, below are some of the Libthought I need to fill my now vacant head with:


1. Bush stole two elections from us. We need take the power back, anyway we can.

2. Bush is so stupid it's amazing he can get dressed by himself in the morning.

3. If we can only undermine Bush in time of war, we'll win the next congressional elections.

4. If we do the above, we can impeach Bush in '07.

5. If we can only have a DNC head that can bash Bush more than Dean, we'll raise all sorts of cash to beat Bush in '08. Calling him evil, stupid and the cause of 9/11 DO NOT GO FAR ENOUGH!

6. If we can control the Judicial Branch by filibustering conservative Bush appointees to the Supreme Court, we'll become overwhelmingly popular with the American People.

7. Even if #6 doesn't hold up, when we beat Bush in '08, Hillary will appoint so many Liberal judges; we'll never have to win an election again.

8. Bush is so stupid he doesn't know that abortion is a good thing, even the partial birth kind.

9. How can that dumb chimp Bush not know that the Abramoff scandal is REPUBLICAN? I mean, didn't Harry Reid say so?

10. Bush tricked every single Democrat in the Senate and House that voted to back him on invading Iraq. They only voted that way and said those things because that dumb ape lied to us about WMDS!


A friend of mine came up to me and said, "You talk different. Didn't you used to be a conservative?"


I said yeah then told him about standing behind the Superman shield and having all my rightwing thoughts eradicated. He asked if it was painful to have all that radiation pumping through my body. I replied no. Then he asked if it wasn't excruciating to get into those superman tights. I said a little, but the cape was fabulous. Then he asked what WAS the most painful thing about the transference. Without hesitation, I said, it was when the conservative killing rays removed 80% of my ability to reason.


JUST WHEN THE WORLD IS IN THE PALMS OF YOUR HANDS, YOUR NOSE BEGINS TO ITCH
Damn my conscious, damn my sense of fair play, damn my ability to see further than my own nose, damn my heart going out to the holocaust of aborted lives, damn my craving to have the USA win it's war against vicious and evil terrorists, damn my love for the men and women that committed the ultimate sacrifice to preserve our freedom.


Like Superman…and Bush, I tricked you. The shield I used protected my traditional conservative thoughts while deliberalizing those in the crowd so inclined.


If only it was that easy…

IF YOU STOP MAKING HAY, IT COULD BE THE LAST STRAW
My ONLY concession is; I pledge to be super sensitive to anything bad a conservative does and loudly praise anything a Lib does right, or even medium.


Does Lieberman count?


I don't believe editors are thinking straight when they knock my columns because they induce batches of responses. Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity aren't the most listened to talk radio hosts because of conservatives. Many on the Left are dialed in daily. Of course, the lefties won't admit this, but ratings don't lie. Even the southpaws won't turn their dials to the empty diatribes of Al Franken.


Since, thank G-d, I don't make my living as a writer, I will opine what I cogitate, irregardless of what publishers think, knowing full well that they may or may not publish me.


There ARE other venues, you know.

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JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.



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