Jewish World Review
Feb. 7, 2007
/ 19 Shevat, 5767
AND THE WINNERS ARE… The Ronnie Results are in
Straight from my emails from around the world, YOU, the JWR readers have spoken.
Without further ado, I now announce the nominees and the award winners.
1. Neville Chamberlain Peace in our Time. A. George W. Bush. B. Sandy Berger. C. Bill Clinton. D. Jane Fonda. E. John McCain.
The winner is Jane Fonda! I agree. She has a 40 year legacy of sucking up to our enemies.
2. Commander in Chief Timely Military Wartime "Adjustment". A. FDR. B.
Harry Truman. C. Abraham Lincoln. D. Richard Nixon. E. George W. Bush
The winner is Abraham Lincoln. He had more adjustments than Barry Bond's steroid escapades.
3. Best Name in Politics. A. Scooter Libby. B. Barrack Obama. C. Hilary Clinton. D. Sam Brownback. E. Charlie Rangel.
The Scooter scoots by. Barrack was a close second.
Best Government Athlete. A. John Kerry. B George W. Bush. C. Bill Clinton. D. George H. W. Bush (SR. for those from Branson). E. Senator Jim Webb.
SR. Bush is the winner! While he was an excellent athlete, can one really ignore the hunting and windsailing exploits of John "Windbag" Kerry? He would have won hands down for the marrying rich widow's award.
Best Speech from a Foreign Country. A. Jimmy Carter. B. Jesse Jackson. C. John Kerry. D. Hilary Clinton. E. Bill Clinton.
Georgian ex-presidente, recently deserted by his staff for being a liar and current anti-Semite de jour, is the proud recipient of the Ronnie. How ironic. The replica of the man that replaced this incompetent boob is now to sit on his mantle looking down on him. All this thanks to his many talks across oceans blaming America for everything HE couldn't handle in his wretched term as prez. I can't believe I voted for this putz. I just hope the wrong end of the horse is facing him.
Mr. Evil. A. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. (Ah'm Mad). B. Osama bin Ladin. C. Hugo Chavez. D. George W. Bush. E. Simon Crowell.
Will Ah'm Mad take his Ronnie and wipe it off the map?
Power Maniac. A. Dick Cheney. B. George W. Bush. C. Nancy Pelosi. D. Hilary Clinton. E. Barney Frank
7. Hilary wins from all those Evil Men…well Representative Franks, too. My pick was Barney. Wonder how many gavels he's broken during his committee chair hissy fits so far.
Best Interviewer. A. Tim Russert. B. Mike Wallace. C. Sean Hannity. D. Chris Matthews. E. Don Imus.
8. Sean Hannity wins best interviewer. What an upset! My pick was Mike Wallace, an old pro, who distinguished himself for not letting a bullying Clinton and an incoherent Kennedy take control.
9. Hot Air. A. Al Gore. B. The NYTimes. C. Rush Limbaugh. D. Don Imus. E. Chris Matthews.
I hope Rush gets further with his Nobel Peace prize nomination, but ALGORE was the clear favorite. There is no proof for Global warming, and ALGORE'S aptitude for BS, is astounding! You can't get THAT past the nuanced and intelligent JWR readers.
10. The Laziest Politician. A. Mayor Ray Nagin. B. George W. Bush. C. The Republican Congress. D. Newt Gingrich.
Overwhelmingly for da Mayor! One smartass wrote in Reagan. At least Ronnie knew how to delegate. The only thing Nagin has been able to negotiate is room service from the hotel suite he used to hide in during the storm. My pick may raise a few eyebrows. The Republican Congress lost government control with their slothful neglect of conservative issues.
11. Golden Pundit. A. Dick Morris. B. Ann Coulter. C. George Will. D. Paul Greenberg. E. Larry Elder.
Let's give a big shriek for Ann Coulter!!! She's mostly right on but a little bit over the top…well sometimes more than a little. My pick? Dick Morris. The others are great, but this is a POLITICAL award.
Most Effective Liberal. A. Rahm Emanuel. B. Nancy Pelosi. C. Juan Williams. D. Barney Frank. E. Terry McAuliff.
Give it up for Juan. He's about the best spokesperson the Libs have. He's civil and has intellectual arguments better than any lefty I know. Of course that ain't saying much. (Glad he sent me his book "Enough" BEFORE I said that.) My pick for effectiveness would have been Rahm. Hell, he led Democrats to victory after a 12 year drought. Talk is cheap, but winning the Super Bowl is where it's at. Just ask Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning.
13. Most Effective Conservative. A. George W. Bush. B. Rush Limbaugh. C. Jerry Falwell. D. Dennis Miller. E. Sean Hannity.
Rush wins in a landslide. 'nough said.
14. Political Patriot. A. Ned Lamont. B. John Kerry. C. Hilary Clinton. D. Chuck Hagel. E. Joe Lieberman.
With the exception of the moron that wrote in Michael Moore, Fightin' Independent Joe Lieberman was everyone's pick. Bet HE learned a lesson about the treachery of his Democratic "friends." Hope he realizes that the latter betrayal goes toward America's efforts to win the war on terror.
There you have it, the first annual Ronnies.
Thanks to all the JWR voters.
Who knows maybe next year…chotskie bags for all?!
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JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.
© 2005, Dave Weinbaum