Jewish World Review
Jan. 31, 2007
/ 12 Shevat, 5767
THE RONNIES: A statue of Ronald Reagan riding his favorite horse
Tis' the season of Oscars, Golden Globes, Grammys, SAG, Guild, Tonys, and Independent Spirit Awards.
Yet I feel a void. We're over baseball; two months away from the opener for my defending world champ Cards. There's one more turf battle in Miami, Super Bowl 968 or somewhere around there. Bears and Colts will be growling and neighing in front of the world. Then nothing til' mid August.
Basketball has yet to become exciting. NBA Playoffs and the NCAA March madness are about the only time worth watching. Hockey puckered out when they were tanking BEFORE they took a year off in a lock out. Did anyone outside of a few Canadians notice? I didn't.
One thing is for certain. Politics never go out of season.
We have the perfect slot for a new entertainment venue and ego bestowment. Besides filling the void with American Idol rejects could cause mental illness. What's better than kicking off the 2012 presidential campaign (the 08' campaign is too far advanced) with a Political awards show, the winners to be voted by YOU the reading public?
And what better person to name an award after than our first "B" actor, class "A" president, Ronald Wilson Reagan?
I'm convinced. And since this was my idea, (eat your hearts out!), I will take on the responsibility of creating the categories and glomming through the candidates for the nominations.
Again, YOU the JWR reading public will vote on the whiners…I mean WINNERS, of course…me bad. Just email me via the click mechanism for feedback on JWR.
This is so exciting, I'm about to break out in a show tune!! HERE GOES!!!
THE RONNIES CATEGORIES AND NOMINEES
1. Neville Chamberlain Peace in our Time. A. George W. Bush. B. Sandy Berger. C. Bill Clinton. D. Jane Fonda. E. John McCain.
2. Commander in Chief Timely Military Wartime "Adjustment". A. FDR. B. Harry Truman. C. Abraham Lincoln. D. Richard Nixon. E. George W. Bush.
3. Best Name in Politics. A. Scooter Libby. B. Barrack Obama. C. Hilary Clinton. D. Sam Brownback. E. Charlie Rangel.
4. Best Government Athlete. A. John Kerry. B George W. Bush. C. Bill Clinton. D. George H. W. Bush (SR. for those from Branson). E. Senator Jim Webb.
5. Best Speech from a Foreign Country. A. Jimmy Carter. B. Jesse Jackson. C. John Kerry. D. Hilary Clinton. E. Bill Clinton.
6. Mr. Evil. A. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. (Ah'm Mad). B. Osama bin Ladin. C. Hugo Chavez. D. George W. Bush. E. Simon Crowell.
7. Power Maniac. A. Dick Cheney. B. George W. Bush. C. Nancy Pelosi. D. Hilary Clinton. E. Barney Frank
8. Best Interviewer. A. Tim Russert. B. Mike Wallace. C. Sean Hannity. D. Chris Matthews. E. Don Imus.
9. Hot Air. A. Al Gore. B. The NYTimes. C. Rush Limbaugh. D. Don Imus. E. Chris Matthews.
10. The Laziest Politician. A. Mayor Ray Nagin. B. George W. Bush. C. The Republican Congress. D. Newt Gingrich.
11. Golden Pundit. A. Dick Morris. B. Ann Coulter. C. George Will. D. Paul Greenberg. E. Larry Elder.
12. Most Effective Liberal. A. Rahm Emanuel. B. Nancy Pelosi. C. Juan Williams. D. Barney Frank. E. Terry McAuliff.
13. Most Effective Conservative. A. George W. Bush. B. Rush Limbaugh. C. Jerry Falwell. D. Dennis Miller. E. Sean Hannity.
14. Political Patriot. A. Ned Lamont. B. John Kerry. C. Hilary Clinton. D. Chuck Hagel. E. Joe Lieberman.
Okay boys and girls. These are the nominations. Your vote will determine the winners. I get to break ties. Again, email me through JWR and I'll get back to you with the results and comments.
THANKS! And enjoy.
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JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.
© 2005, Dave Weinbaum