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Should we have an instinctive preference for herbal remedies? Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Streisand and Alicia Keys in Israel; "Girls" Stuff; Mel Brooks, Another TV special; Superman (who is Jewish) returns --- Israeli plays his mom The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon K. Ghag : Bored with salad? Bling it up a bit (4 effortless recipes that will result in a 'WOW!') June 12, 2013 Stephanie Hanes: Little girls or little women? The Disney princess effect Fred Weir: In tweak to US, Russia would 'consider' asylum for Snowden Sharon Palmer, R.D.: What's so special about Omega-3 supplements? Morgan Housel: What newspapers were saying when you should have been buying Pete Spotts: How cockroaches evolved so as to bypass 'roach motels' The Kosher Gourmet by Anjali Prasertong: Deep-dish cookie: Warm, gooey and a little over the top June 10, 2013 Joseph A. 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May: Al Qaeda vs. Hezbollah Harvard Health Letters: Fighting back against allergy season Kimberly Lankford: Grandparents who use FSA to cover grandkid's braces and other must-know info Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom:J ewish Tony Nominees/Tony Awards; Jewish Teen Actor In Sci-Fi Flick; Jewish singer in "Voice" finals The Kosher Gourmet by Anjali Prasertong: A tart filling so good it might not make it to the crust June 5, 2013 John Rosemond: Mom, Dad: Talk More and listen less Kristen Chick: Egypt court sentences 43 pro-democracy workers to prison Sharon Palmer, R.D.: Mushrooms Have Medicinal As Well As Culinary Value Morgan Housel: Why you never learn from your investment mistakes Don Lee: In China, kindergarten rivalry takes deadly turn The Kosher Gourmet by Sara Kate Gillingham-Ryan: 30-Minute Coq au Vin isn't a dream June 3, 2013 Molly Hennessy-Fiske: Military judge to consider letting Fort Hood shooting defendant represent himself Richard A. Serrano: Pvt. Bradley Manning's WikiLeaks trial also a test for government Mark Trumbull: Have degree, driving cab: Nearly half of college grads are overqualified Kim Lankford: What to do when long-term care insurance premiums rise Deborah Netburn: Study: Adults' mouth bacteria may help babies Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Jewish Contestant on 'The Voice'; Will Smith's 'Jewish movie family'; Bravo Gives Long Island Jews the Jersey Shore Treatment; Magicians and More The Kosher Gourmet by Bill Ward: How to be as refined as the wines at a wine tasting May 29, 2013 Andrew Connelly and Helene Bienvenu: The Little Synagogue that Refused to Die Dennis Prager: The 'Muslims-Killed-by-the-West' Lie David Clark Scott: Open war on teachers? 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Hannan Adely: Town raises Palestinian flag at City Hall Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction Morgan Housel: When smart investors do stupid things Sharon Saloman, M.S., R.D.: Hunger games: Eat more, weigh less, without starving Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting

Jewish World Review January 25, 2008 / 18 Shevat 5768 IF I WERE A POLL MAN… By Dave Weinbaum http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I've decided to go into the polling business. How hard can it be? Can you get any more inaccurate than the results recently predicted by polls from the current survey establishment? And whether right or wrong, you get to charge for your services. Cha-Ching! I'm not going to ask the obvious, either. Questions like; do you believe Ron Paul's many years as a gynecologist has caused him tunnel vision regarding foreign policy? Is Bill Clinton going to leave yet more stains in the White House in an unprecedented third term? I'm gonna ask deep and abstract questions that'll need a team of psychoanalysts to decipher. And I've taken the liberty of departmentalizing them so that YOUR tax dollars, not my pocketbook pays for the surveys. Isn't that the American way? Here's my first attempt at finding out what the American electorate are thinking: It's my poll and I'll ask what I want to, ask what I want to, ask what I want to… 1. From the US Geological Survey: Are you incontinent if you can't name major land masses? 2. From the State Department: Should Cannibals eat the hands that feed them? 3. From the Humane Society and the Better Business Bureau: If you buy a cat for half price does it come with only 4&1/2 lives? 4. From the Highway Department: If a truck is big enough, why do they call it a "semi?" Just how big does a truck have to be to be called a finalist? 5. From the IRS: Is there no success congress leaves unpunished? 6. From the religious right: If a baker marries his first cousin, is he inbred twice? 7. From National Parks and Forests: Do man-made lures work better on government made lakes? 8. From Social Services: Why do papers put marriage announcements next to the obituaries? 9. From the FDA: Should you fry or poach rooster eggs? 10. From Health and Human Resources: Has anyone ever seen a cute bronchitis? Hey, I've even put this to song! Instead of "Music Man," I'm sure there's a place in the entertainment industry for "Polling Man." It's sung to Fiddler on The Roof's "If I Were a Rich Man". C'mon, everybody…at the count of three! One, two, one, two, THREE! If I were a poll man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I'd biddy biddy bum. If I were a polling man. I wouldn't have to work hard. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. If I were a biddy biddy smart, Yidle-diddle-didle-polling man. I'd build a big tall list with questions by the dozen, right in the middle of the vote. Another one even longer, just for media. I'd fill my blog with chicks, and pundits, and geeks, For foolish sophistry, just to show how intelligent I can be. And each turned phrase, little jab, pun and poke would land on each moron with a vote, As if to say "Here lives a polling man" Dada dum DADUUUUUM…….(3 second pause) I see my wife, my Joni, looking like a smart man's wife with a clipboard and a scowl. Supervising polls to her hearts delight. I see her putting on airs and strutting like a peacock. Oy, what a happy mood she's in. Screaming at the pundits day and night. Ya dada dadum….(3 second pause) The most important men in town would come to fawn on me! They would ask me to advise them, Like a Solomon the Wiseman. "If you please, Mr. Weinbaum..." "Pardon me, Mr. Weinbaum..." Posing problems that would cross Newt Gingrich eyes! If I were a poll man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I'd biddy biddy bum. If I were a polling man. I wouldn't have to work hard. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. If I were a biddy biddy smart, Yidle- diddle- didle- polling man. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here. Archives © 2005, Dave Weinbaum

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