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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Dec. 29, 2006 / 8 Teves, 5767

MOTIVATE! THEN FAIL! NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

By Dave Barry


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Why make New Year's resolutions? Because you can be a better person. I bet you know somebody who seems to be perfect — somebody who always looks terrific; somebody who manages to devote plenty of time to both family and career; somebody whose house is spotless, whose children are well-behaved and whose dog does not smell as if it sleeps on a bed of decomposing raccoons. You wonder how that person "does it all," don't you? Well, stop wondering and do something! Start right now! Get up off the sofa, put on some active sportswear and kill that person with a crowbar!


No, seriously, you need to make some New Year's resolutions so that you can become a better you — a more-attractive you, an organized you, a you that is … well, less like you.


At this point, you are saying: "Dave, I would love nothing better than to be less like myself, but every year I make the same New Year's resolution, which is that I will lose weight, and currently my thighs are the diameter of the trans-Alaska pipeline."


Don't feel bad! Many people have trouble sticking to their resolutions, and there is a simple scientific explanation for this. In 1987, a team of psychologists conducted a study in which they monitored the New Year's resolutions of 275 people. After one week, the psychologists found that 92 percent of the people were keeping their resolutions; after two weeks, we have no idea what happened, because the psychologists had quit monitoring.


"We just lost our motivation," they reported. "Also, we found ourselves eating Twinkies by the case."


So we see that keeping resolutions can be difficult. But you CAN do it, if you follow these practical tips:


1. BE REALISTIC


Many people give up because they "set their sights too high." In making a New Year's resolution, pick a goal that you can reasonably expect to attain, as we see in these examples:


Unrealistic Goal: "In the next month, I will lose 25 pounds."


Realistic Goal: "Over the next year, taking it an ounce or two at a time, I will gain 25 pounds, and my face will bloat like a military life raft."


Unrealistic Goal: "I will learn to speak Chinese."


Realistic Goal: "I will order some Chinese food."


Unrealistic Goal: "I will read a good book."


Realistic Goal: "I will examine the outsides of some good books, then waddle over to the part of the bookstore where they sell pastries."


Unrealistic Goal: "I will do volunteer work for a worthy cause."


Realistic Goal: "I will give myself a hearty scratching."

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2. THINK POSITIVE


To succeed, you must believe in yourself. Write this motivational statement in large letters on a piece of paper and tape it someplace where you will see it often, such as on the inside of your eyeglasses: "I can do it, and I will do it! Starting next year!"


3. LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES


Let's say that, like millions of weight-conscious Americans, you think you eat sensibly: Your diet consists almost exclusively of mineral water and low-calorie, low-fat foods. And yet you're still gaining weight. Why? I'll tell you why: You're drinking water with minerals in it. Minerals are among the heaviest substances in the universe, second only to guests on the Jerry Springer show. Think about it: The Appalachian Mountains and most major appliances are essentially big wads of minerals, and you're putting those things into your body. No wonder you're gaining weight!


FACT: The word "Perrier" is French for "balloon butt."


I have run out of room here, thank G-d, so let me say in closing that I wish you the best of luck with your New Year's resolutions, and I will do my best to keep my own resolution, which is to give you, every single week, the most useful, informative and accurate columns I possibly can. Starting next year.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

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Previously:

Rooting for the midgets of the Midway
Revolt of the rodents
He can drive any truck named ‘Tonka’
All bets are off
How do you spell S-A-T?
Sour grapes and mud
Pro golf: A game of non-stop boredom
Guard-dog vigilance is nothing to sniff at
Warm and fuzzy Cold War memories
The funny side of ‘Beowulf’
HOLY HEAT WAVE, BATMAN!
Abs-olute madness
Beware of brainy bugs
I'm in a sorry state
The frog plague: The inside story
If she had a hammer….
Keeping an eye on crime
Camping and Lewis and Clark
When in Iowa, don't forget to duck
Junior takes the wheel
Growing old with Dave
Sites for sore eyes
Beware of sheep droppings
Ireland, land of bad Elvis
Mr. Peabrain's misadventures
When they're out to get you, keep cool
Mothers of invention
Kill 'em with kindness



© 2006, The Miami Herald Distributed by Tribune Media Services, Inc.

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