August 21, 2008 Today in Biblical History by Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Popularization of Kabbalah: 20 Menachem-Av 1558 CE Jonathan Rosenblum: Lessons from the Beyond JWisdom: : The Olympian within is rooting for you -- yes, you! –- to go for the gold August 20, 2008 Jonathan Tobin: Misleading Platform Platitudes The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Chicken Salad with Asian Dressing JWisdom: The Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith: America's Defense of the Jews --- Until WWII by Rabbi Nosson Scherman August 19, 2008 Dennis Prager: If the Almighty doesn't exist Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Obama's Islamist problem has nothing to do with his upbringing JWisdom: Think your life is messed up? by Rabbi David Aaron August 18, 2008 The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Business with Friends Diana West: Roars About Russia, Bare Whispers About Islam JWisdom: Relationship agony: The real cause by Malka Schulman August 15, 2008 Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: To love the Divine Caroline B. Glick: Georgia, Israel, and the nature of man JWisdom: The Truly Righteous Don't Demand Entitlements by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky August 14, 2008 Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Confessions of broken spirit Libby Lazewnik: The Numbers Game JWisdom: Six Questions You'll Be Asked in Heaven? - Uh - Let's Just Take One for Now! by Gavriel Aryeh Sanders August 13, 2008 Jonathan Tobin: Georgia should be on their minds The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Go Greek: Pair flavorful lamb kebabs with a hearty salad JWisdom: Human hybrids aren't science fiction by Rabbi David Aaron August 12, 2008 Rabbi Avi Shafran: Bless us Daniel Pipes: The West's Islamist Infiltrators JWisdom: From Sadness to Gladness: The Route from Tisha b'Av to Rosh Hashana by Rabbi Mordechai Becher August 11, 2008 The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: A Jewish view on fair pricing Caroline B. Glick: Ignoring failure in Gaza JWisdom: 'Communication' Is Not The Answer! by Malka Schulman August 7, 2008 Rabbi David Gutterman: A Continuing Story With a Sustaining Goal Rabbi Berel Wein: Mourning and morning JWisdom: Yes, we are still in exile by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky August 6, 2008 David Ashenfelter: Government made military engineer's life a living hell because of his faith, Defense Department report documents Jonathan Tobin: Speak the Truth; Defeat the Lies JWisdom: Jewish Spirituality: Fusion or Confusion? by Rabbi David Aaron August 5, 2008 Chris Leppek: Church/state wall beginning to crumble? Paul Greenberg: Exit Olmert (no encore, please) JWisdom: Serenity: Make the commitment by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin (Read by Gavriel Sanders) August 4, 2008 The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Am I taking advantage of another's psychological quirk? Andrew Silow-Carroll: A black and a Jew walk into the White House… JWisdom: The Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith: Edward R. Morrow visits the ‘living dead’ by Rabbi Nosson Scherman August 1, 2008 Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: We have the power to alter another's destiny — use it well Caroline B. Glick: Why Olmert — finally — did it JWisdom: Life By The (Book of) Numbers by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky July 31, 2008 This Week in Biblical History by Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Ezra the Scribe returns from exile Joan Verdon: Demure is in demand: More brides seek 'modest' gowns JWisdom: You don't have to be ‘compatible’ to have a stable, happy relationship by Malka Shulman July 30, 2008 Jonathan Tobin: Does Israel need 'tough love'? The Kosher Gourmet by Gail Borelli: Pickling captures the fleeting tastes of summer's fruits and vegetables JWisdom: Serenity: It's Really Up to YOU! by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin (Read by Gavriel Sanders) July 29, 2008 Rabbi Avi Shafran: Good things happen Dick Morris: How Israel's race could shift ours JWisdom: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Equal but Not Jewish or Jewish but Not Human? July 28, 2008 The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: How and when to lie Steven Emerson: More Perils of Interfaith Dialogue JWisdom:: A TripTik for Your Spiritual Journey by Rabbi Dovid Gross July 24, 2008 Rabbi Berel Wein: On the road again --- and again and again Richard Z. Chesnoff: Mideast Refugees --- Failure vs. Success JWisdom:: Word power is about more than vocabulary by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky July 23, 2008 Jonathan Tobin: The Mufti of Jerusalem's Nazi ideology lives on among contemporary Islamists The Kosher Gourmet by Joe Gray: Smoked paprika turkey meatballs simmered in red wine and tomato sauce JWisdom:: 'Routine' doesn't need to mean ‘rote’ By Rabbi David Aaron July 22, 2008 Yossi Klein Halevi: Dear Barack Obama Elliot B. Gertel: Eli Stone: Self-indulgent, arrogant corporate attorney as modern-day prophet JWisdom:: Three Weeks - Nine Days - One Purpose by Rabbi Mordechai Becher July 21, 2008 The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Spending your kids' money Mitch Albom: A grim exchange illustrates a key difference JWisdom:: The Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith: Hammered on the Anvil --- Severed by the Sickle by Rabbi Nosson Scherman July 18, 2008 Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: The Sanctification and Importance of Time Caroline B. Glick: US wants it absolutely clear it has no intention of attacking Iran's nuclear installations Mona Charen: What can you say about a people who welcome a child murderer as a hero? JWisdom:: Living a dog's life, dawg? by Rabbi Dovid Gross July 17, 2008 Steven Emerson: Deals with devils Libby Lazewnik: One Step at a Time JWisdom:: Leader the follower? by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky July 16, 2008 The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Poaching humans The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Meaty pasta salad with summer berries perfect for warm evenings JWisdom:: Keeping A Secret by Rabbi Mordechai Becher July 15, 2008 Dennis Prager: False Equation: Opposing Same-Sex Marriage and Opposing Interracial Marriage Joel Greenberg: Researchers look to Israeli circumcision program to help combat AIDS 'Alternatives' to Logic Won't Work JWisdom:: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part V: Why Judaism ISN'T Spiritual by Rabbi David Aaron July 14, 2008 Jonathan Rosenblum: A warning from Canada to those who value life Jonathan Tobin: 'Alternatives' to Logic Won't Work JWisdom:: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Poland's Unique Antisemitism, Part II March 22, 2007 J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !) Oct. 29, 2003 Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review Nov. 12, 2007 / 2 Kislev 5768 Mr. Fixit strikes again By Dave Barry http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I was walking through my bedroom on a recent Sunday morning when I suddenly had a feeling that something was wrong. I'm not sure how I knew; perhaps it was a "sixth sense" I've developed after years of home ownership. Or perhaps it was the fact that there was water coming out of the ceiling. But whatever tipped me off, I knew that I had a potentially serious problem, so I did not waste time. Moving swiftly but without panic, I went into the living room and read the entire sports section of the newspaper, thus giving the problem a chance to go away by itself. This is one of the four recommended methods for dealing with a household problem, the other three being 1) wrapping the problem with duct tape; 2) spraying the problem with a product called "WD-40"; and 3) selling the home, and then telling the new owners, "Hey, it never did that when we owned it." Unfortunately, when I went back to the bedroom, the ceiling was still dripping. My wife suggested that maybe there was water sitting on the roof and leaking into the house, but I knew, as an experienced guy of the male gender, that she was wrong. I knew that the problem was the plumbing. It's time that we homeowners accepted the fact that plumbing is a bad idea. Many historians believe that the primary reason the Roman Empire collapsed is that the Romans attempted to install plumbing in it. Suddenly, instead of being ruthless, all-conquering warriors, they became a bunch of guys scurrying around trying to repair leaking viaducts. (Tragically, the Romans did not have "WD-40.") So I knew that our plumbing had broken, and I also knew why it had chosen that particular morning: We had a houseguest. Plumbing can sense the arrival of a houseguest, and it often responds by leaking or causing toilets to erupt like porcelain volcanoes. And, of course, our plumbing had waited until Sunday, which meant that the plumber would not come for at least a day, which meant that it was up to me, as a male, to climb up into the attic and do the manly thing that men have had to do as long as men have been men: shine a flashlight around. "Maybe you should check the roof first," my wife suggested. "Maybe there's water sitting up there." She was fixated on this roof theory. Women can be like that. I had to explain to her, being as patient as possible considering that I had urgent guy tasks to perform, that she was being an idiot, because the problem was the plumbing. So I got my flashlight and climbed up a ladder into the attic, where I was able, thanks to my experience as a homeowner and my natural mechanical sense, to get pieces of insulation deep into my nose. I was not, however, able to locate the source of the leak, because my attic turned out to be a cramped, dark, dirty, mysterious place with pipes and wires running all over the place, and off in the distance-just out of flashlight reach, but I could definitely sense its presence-a tarantula the size of Mt. Everest. So I came briskly back down the ladder and told my wife that, to stop the plumbing from leaking, I was going to turn off all the water to the house until the plumber came. Speaking in clipped, efficient, manly sentences, I instructed her to fill containers with water and write a note for the houseguest telling him how to flush his toilet with a bucket. "Before we do all that," she said, "Maybe you should check the. . . ." "Don't tell me to check the roof!" I explained. "Stop talking about the roof! The problem is the plumbing!" Sometimes a man has to put his manly foot down. So while my wife wrote toilet-flushing instructions for our houseguest and prepared a small apologetic basket of fruit and cookies, I tried to locate the valve that would shut off all the water. This was very difficult, because our plumbing system turns out to have approximately one valve for every water molecule. We could start a roadside tourist attraction ("Turn here for the amazing valve forest"). The fascinating thing is, not one of these valves controls the flow of water to our particular house. I shut a number of them off, and nothing happened. So if, on a recent Sunday, the water stopped flowing in your home or store or nuclear power plant, that was probably my fault. Since I could not turn off our water, our ceiling continued to leak all Sunday night, so that by morning our bedroom carpet was a federally protected wetland habitat teeming with frogs, turtles, Mafia-hit victims, etc. So we were very happy when the plumber arrived. And if you are a student of literary foreshadowing, you know exactly what he did: He looked at the ceiling, went outside, got a ladder, climbed up on the roof and found some water sitting up there. It couldn't drain, because there was a little place clogged by leaves. The plumber fixed it in maybe 10 seconds. I could have easily fixed it myself at any time in the previous 24 hours if I had not been so busy repairing our plumbing. I wrote the check in a manly manner. So far, my wife, showing great self-restraint, has said, "I told you so" only about 450,000 times. Fine. She's entitled. But don't you start on me, OK? Not if you want me to turn your water back on. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Comment by clicking here. Previously: ‘Einstein Gap’: It's all relative Lost in space The Trojan Twinkie Caper MR. LANGUAGE PERSON: WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE! 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(Low fat) There is nothing like a male (guys) MOTIVATE! THEN FAIL! NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS Rooting for the midgets of the Midway Revolt of the rodents He can drive any truck named ‘Tonka’ All bets are off How do you spell S-A-T? Sour grapes and mud Pro golf: A game of non-stop boredom Guard-dog vigilance is nothing to sniff at Warm and fuzzy Cold War memories The funny side of ‘Beowulf’ HOLY HEAT WAVE, BATMAN! Abs-olute madness Beware of brainy bugs I'm in a sorry state The frog plague: The inside story If she had a hammer…. Keeping an eye on crime Camping and Lewis and Clark When in Iowa, don't forget to duck Junior takes the wheel Growing old with Dave Sites for sore eyes Beware of sheep droppings Ireland, land of bad Elvis Mr. Peabrain's misadventures When they're out to get you, keep cool Mothers of invention Kill 'em with kindness © 2006, The Miami Herald Distributed by Tribune Media Services, Inc.

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