May 20, 2013 Richard A. Serrano: Is Meir Kahane's assassin now a changed man? Hannan Adely: Town raises Palestinian flag at City Hall Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction Morgan Housel: When smart investors do stupid things Sharon Saloman, M.S., R.D.: Hunger games: Eat more, weigh less, without starving Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting May 13, 2013 Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Why the giving of the document that would permanently change the world could only be done in desolation David G. Savage: Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church Emily Alpert: Recession dragged down birth rates for less-educated women Morgan Housel: The deep downside of home ownership Peter Teffer: Will Dutch police soon be stalking cybercriminals on your computer? Heidi McIndoo, M.S., R.D.: Meatless 'meat' can have its own set of problems The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Celebrate! This must-try appetizer is delicate yet has depth of flavor: Corn-Leek Cakes with Caviar, Smoked Salmon and Creme Fraiche May 10, 2013 Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be Caroline B. Glick: The dirty little secret about Israel's Arabs Mona Charen: Hawking's Moral Calculus: The man and the movement he embraces Morgan Housel: The biggest retirement myth ever told Sandi Doughton: Eyes may provide new insight into brain problems Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : The Great Gatsby's Jewish Ties; Jews in the "Time 100 list" List; People's Most Beautiful Women The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: A sweet-hot meal: Pear salsa spices up salmon May 8, 2013 Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad Amanda Paulson: Study reveals sad truths about community colleges 'Garbage man' in cells could extend life Harvard Health Letters: Evidence weak that zinc, echinacea are beneficial The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility May 6, 2013 Edmund Sanders and Patrick J. McDonnell: Think Israel's objective in Syria is to weaken Assad or embolden the rebels? Think again Brian Bennett: Israeli airstrikes may show weakness in Syrian defense Michael Ollove: Millions of ex-felons, parolees and those on probation are about to be entitled to tax-payer paid health coverage Karen Kaplan: Most men can skip PSA test for prostate cancer, urologists say Kimberly Lankford: How to track down a lost life insurance policy Dream of Mars exploration achievable, experts say The Kosher Gourmet by Susan M. Selasky: EGGPLANT WRAPS are an easy, sumptuous and scrumptious meal May 3, 2013 Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Human Courage and the Unavoidable, Disturbing Text Steven Emerson: Attorney General Fights CAIR in Court, Lauds it in Public Mediterranean diet helps beat dementia: study Harvard Health Letters: When to be screened for a hearing problem Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Iron Man's Jewish Connections; Marc Maron's New TV Show; Martin Landau Grows Up with Israel; Shalom, Allan Arbus The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: A sweet surprise for Mother's Day dessert May 1, 2013 Jonathan Rosenblum: An Improbable Journey to Orthodoxy Jonathan Tobin: Blame Obama, Not Israel for Syria Push Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell Halena M. Gazelka, M.D.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: What you need to know about implanted pain relief devices Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine Jessica Shugart: When it comes to math, MRIs may be better than IQs The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: The celebrated chef on how high-maintenance ASPARAGUS RISOTTO need not be April 29, 2013 Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots? Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed Morgan Housel: He's rich, smart and old: Listen to him Thomas Salinas, D.D.S.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: The safety of amalgam fillings Harvard Health Letters: Tomatoes and stroke protection Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Swing into spring with lemon cream pie April 26, 2013 Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: The world is a mirror Caroline B. Glick: Time to confront Obama Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism Kimberly Lankford: New strategies ease pain of paying for long-term care insurance Howard LeWine, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Too much ibuprofen? Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Jewish Major Leaguers, 2013; New Movies and Comedy Show; Shalom, 'Lumpy' (Leave it to Beaver) The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Ho : A bright and cheerful salad to herald the warmer months ahead April 24, 2013 Steven Emerson: Boston Bomber Exposes Islamist Secret Top Muslim cleric boycotts inter-faith dialogue conference attended by 'Jews' Morgan Housel Admit it: No one has any idea what's going on Harvard Health Letters: Can you get headaches from headache medication? Kerri-Ann Jennings, M.S., R.D.: How to easily get more Omega-3s in your diet Melissa Healy: Pot in a pill: All the pain relief without the smoke The Kosher Gourmet by Susan Russo: Chipotle Chili Butternut Squash Soup is bold, zesty, hot April 22, 2013 Ken Dilanian: Counterterrorism's future is unclear Hagel, on maiden Middle East visit, arrives in Israel bearing gifts and promises US man departing country arrested on terror charges Barbara Williams: An unorthodox but growing treatment in a 9-year-old's battle against cancer P.J. Skerrett, M.D.: How to recognize a good whole grain product Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Teen actor Jonah Bobo in New Flick: Hunky James Wolk on Mad Men; Erich Segal's Daughter Writes Prize-Winning Jewish Novel

Jewish World Review Sept. 10, 2007 / 28 Elul, 5767 Needling the birthday boy By Dave Barry http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I recently turned 50, which is really not so old. A lot of very famous people accomplished great things after 50. For example, it was during the post-50 phase of his life that the brilliant physicist Albert Einstein produced the vast majority of his drool. But still, when you're 50, you're definitely "getting up there," so I decided I had better go in for my annual physical examination, which is something I do approximately every seven to nine years. I keep my physicals spaced out because my doctor, Curt, who is ordinarily a terrific guy, has a tendency to put on a scary rubber glove and make sudden lunges at my personal region. Also Curt has some ladies who work with him-and again, these are charming people-who belong to some kind of Druid-style cult that has very strict beliefs under which they are not allowed to let you leave the office with any of your blood. They get you in a chair and distract you with charming conversation while they subtly take your arm and insert a needle attached to a long tube that goes outside to a 50,000-gallon tanker truck with a big sign that says "BLOOD." When they're done draining you, they don't even have to open the door to let you out; they just slide you under it. Somehow I got through my physical OK. But then, about a week later, Curt was working late one night at his office-perhaps going through the Official Catalog Of Supplies For Doctor's Offices, which lists needles in sizes ranging all the way from Extra Large to Harpoon, as well as an extensive selection of pre-1992 magazines with the last page of every article torn out-and he happened to glance up at his framed copy of the Hippocratic oath. This is an oath that is named after an ancient Greek philosopher, Aristotle, who is considered the Father of Medicine because he invented the following phrases, without which modern medical care would be impossible: "Do you have insurance?" "We're going to have to run some tests." "You may experience some discomfort." "We're going to have to run some more tests." "The tests were inconclusive." Anyway, Curt was looking at the Hippocratic oath, which all doctors are required to take, and he noticed the sentence that says: "And I swear by my Lexus that if a person comes into my office for any reason, whether it be for a physical examination or simply to deliver the mail, I will find something medically wrong with that person." And so Curt-realizing that if he let me get out of my physical scot-free, burly agents of the American Medical Association Ethics Unit would come and yank his stethoscope right out of his ears-called me and told me that the cholesterol level in my blood was a little high. I tried to argue that this was no longer my problem, since all my blood was in the possession of the Druid ladies, but Curt insisted that I had to change my dietary habits. To help me do this, Curt sent me some informative medical pamphlets that explain to the layperson, via cartoons, what cholesterol is. Technically, it is a little blob-shaped guy with buggy eyes and a big nose who goes running through your blood vessel, which is a tube going to your heart, which can be seen smiling in the background. Sometimes the blob guy gets stuck, causing him to get a grumpy expression and have a balloon come out of his mouth saying, "I'M STUCK." If too many cholesterols get stuck, your blood vessel looks like a New York subway train at rush hour, and your heart gets a sad face, and surgeons have to go in there with a medical device originally developed by Roto-Rooter. To prevent this from happening, you need to be very careful about your diet, as follows: Food groups you cannot eat: Meat, milk, cheese, butter, desserts, processed foods, fried foods, foods with skins, restaurant foods, foods your mom made, foods from packages, foods shown in commercials, foods containing flavor, foods being carried around on trays at wedding receptions, appetizers, snacks, munchies, breakfast, lunch, dinner, takeout, drive-through, pina coladas, and any food with a phrase such as "GOOD LUCK HERB!" written on it in frosting. Food groups you can eat: Water (unsweetened), low-fat celery, wood chips. This diet has been difficult for me to follow. The worst part has been giving up cheese. I love cheese. I'm the kind of person who, while merely rummaging through the refrigerator to see what else is available, can easily gnaw his way through a hunk of cheddar the size of the late Sonny Liston. But I've been pretty good so far, and I'm hoping that my blood cholesterol will be a lot lower, if I ever develop blood again. Curt wants me to come back in and have it checked. He'll never take me alive. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Comment by clicking here. Previously: On calamities (in the sky and on your head) Modern medical mysteries Bored games Dave's Field of Nightmares Lewis and Clark stepped here! The ultimate water gun Poetic license, with no rhyme or reason Great moments in science This won't hurt a bit One giant leap for frogkind My visit to Nether-Netherland Smile and say cheese Shooting carps in Wisconsin The perfect storm Stickup in aisle 3 Please don't feed the tourists Land of the Frozen Earwax The birth of wail Honk if you're married and can't cope with anger Rabbit ears get poor reception Percentage of frogs in food jumps Night of the living roach Mr. Language Person: Some words of wisdomality Mind your P's and Q's and teas Loose lips sink sequels NOW WE'RE COOKIN'! The right to Bear clubs Science: It's just not fair Road warrior specials Where's the beef? (Low fat) There is nothing like a male (guys) MOTIVATE! THEN FAIL! NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS Rooting for the midgets of the Midway Revolt of the rodents He can drive any truck named ‘Tonka’ All bets are off How do you spell S-A-T? Sour grapes and mud Pro golf: A game of non-stop boredom Guard-dog vigilance is nothing to sniff at Warm and fuzzy Cold War memories The funny side of ‘Beowulf’ HOLY HEAT WAVE, BATMAN! Abs-olute madness Beware of brainy bugs I'm in a sorry state The frog plague: The inside story If she had a hammer…. Keeping an eye on crime Camping and Lewis and Clark When in Iowa, don't forget to duck Junior takes the wheel Growing old with Dave Sites for sore eyes Beware of sheep droppings Ireland, land of bad Elvis Mr. Peabrain's misadventures When they're out to get you, keep cool Mothers of invention Kill 'em with kindness © 2006, The Miami Herald Distributed by Tribune Media Services, Inc.

Arnold Ahlert  Mitch Albom  Jay Ambrose  Michael Barone  Barrywood  Lori Borgman  Stratfor Briefing  Mona Charen  Linda Chavez  Richard Z. Chesnoff  Ann Coulter  Greg Crosby  Larry Elder  Suzanne Fields  Christine Flowers  Frank J. Gaffney  Bernie Goldberg  Jonah Goldberg  Julia Gorin  Jonathan Gurwitz  Paul Greenberg  Argus Hamilton  Victor Davis Hanson  Betsy Hart  Ron Hart  Nat Hentoff  A. Barton Hinkle  Jeff Jacoby  Paul Johnson  Jack Kelly  Ch. Krauthammer  David Limbaugh  Kathryn Lopez  Rich Lowry  Michelle Malkin  Jackie Mason  Ann McFeatters  Dale McFeatters  Dana Milbank  Jeanne Moos  Dick Morris  Jim Mullen  Deroy Murdock  Judge A. Napolitano  Bill O'Reilly  Clarence Page  Kathleen Parker  Star Parker  Dennis Prager  Wesley Pruden  Tom Purcell  Sharon Randall  Robert Robb  Cokie & Steve Roberts  Heather Robinson  Debra J. Saunders  Martin Schram  Greg Schwem  Culture Shlock  David Shribman  Roger Simon  Lenore Skenazy  Michael Smerconish  Thomas Sowell  Ben Stein  Mark Steyn  John Stossel  Cal Thomas  Dan Thomasson  Bob Tyrrell  Diana West  Dave Weinbaum  George Will  Walter Williams  Byron York  ZeitGeist  Mort Zuckerman  Robert Arial  Chuck Asay  Baloo   Lisa Benson  Chip Bok  Dry Bones  John Branch  John Cole  J. D. Crowe  Matt Davies  John Deering  Brian Duffy  Everything's Relative  Mallard Fillmore  Glenn Foden  Jake Fuller  Bob Gorrel  Walt Handelsman  Joe Heller  David Hitch  Jerry Holbert  David Horsey  Lee Judge  Steve Kelley  Jeff Koterba  Dick Locher  Chan Lowe  Jimmy Margulies  Jack Ohman  Michael Ramirez  Rob Rogers  Drew Sheneman  Kevin Siers  Jeff Stahler  Scott Stantis  Danna Summers  Gary Varvel  Kirk Walters   Dan Wasserman  Tech Q&A  Mr. Know-It-All  Ask Doctor K  Richard Lederer  Frugal Living  On Nutrition  Bookmark These  Bruce Williams