December 2, 2014 Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015 Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish April 18, 2014 Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious April 14, 2014 Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz! April 11, 2014 Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish April 9, 2014 Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame? Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches Baby charged with attempted murder The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined April 8, 2014 Hitler's Jewish wife? Mass murderer's mate would have made both deserving of death under Nazi law Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear From the Grave, Wife Captures Time, Love in a Bottle (2 minutes) The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert April 4, 2014 Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3 Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014 Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS) April 2, 2014 Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis? Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Sept. 4, 2007 / 22 Elul, 5767 On calamities (in the sky and on your head) By Dave Barry http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Gather 'round, young people, because it's back-to-school time, and Uncle Dave wants to give you some important advice to help you excel in the classroom and have successful, rewarding careers, assuming that the Earth is not destroyed by giant comet chunks. This is definitely a possibility. Just recently, giant comet chunks whomped into Jupiter and caused destruction so massive that it would have wiped out all human life if there had been any, which there probably wasn't because the atmosphere on Jupiter has essentially the same chemical composition as Drano. Of course, the astronomy community carried on as though the mass destruction on Jupiter was just about the coolest scientific thing to happen since the invention of the pocket protector. Every night you'd see astronomers on the TV news, holding up blurred photographs of what appeared to be a pizza, pointing to a roundish smudge that appeared to be a pepperoni, and announcing, in happy voices, that it was the equivalent of 19 hillion jillion atomic bombs. They contend we don't have to worry. They contend that the mathematical odds of a large comet chunk hitting the Earth in our lifetimes are infinitesimal, even smaller-if such a thing is possible-than the odds of the Buffalo Bills winning a Super Bowl. But whenever we hear the astronomy community making claims, two words should spring into our minds: "Comet Kohoutek." Back in 1973, the astronomy community claimed that Comet Kohoutek was going to pass close to the Earth and produce this spectacular celestial phenomenon, so big and bright you'd be able to see it EVEN IN THE DAYTIME. People were afraid to go outside for fear they would suffer comet burns. And what happened? Nothing. All over the world, millions of people spent hours squinting at the sky, pointing excitedly at airplanes, moths, beer signs, smudges on their binocular lenses, etc. But ultimately they had to accept the ugly truth: THERE WAS NO COMET KOHOUTEK. Oh, sure, the astronomy community, desperate to save face, produced some blurred photographs of a "comet" but it turned out, upon close inspection, to be a human sperm cell magnified 400,000 times. (We now believe it belonged to Carl Sagan.) My point is that if the astronomy community contends that we're not going to get hit by giant comet chunks, then we probably are. The result would be mass destruction on the most horrendous scale ever seen in the history of this planet, causing famine, disease, death and-in the United States alone-literally millions of personal-injury lawsuits. This would lead to a major boom in the legal profession, a career field Uncle Dave feels you young people should definitely be considering as you head back to school. Even in the unlikely event the Earth is NOT hit by giant comet chunks, experts believe the legal field will continue to grow rapidly, as more and more Americans realize the practical benefits of suing everybody about everything, including dandruff. This column alone will generate hundreds of new jobs in the legal field as a result of lawsuits filed by representatives of Drano, the Buffalo Bills and the Kohoutek family. So the economic future looks bright, young people. But no matter what career field you ultimately choose to enter, you're not going to get very far if you have a stupid haircut. Uncle Dave is especially concerned about a hairstyle that is showing up more and more often on young males: It's the one where the sides and back of the head are shaved completely naked, while the hair on top is grown really long and pulled straight back into a ponytail. Young people, this haircut looks even stupider than the one where you shave words into the side of your head. This haircut doesn't even look like it's an organic part of your body. It looks like a small, wet, dead raccoon perched on top of a bald head. You young people cannot seriously expect to get a high-paying, long-term-growth-potential job if you go around looking like Davy Crockett with a scalp disorder. Of course, you probably don't even know who Davy Crockett was. It is indeed a sad commentary on our state of educational preparedness when so many young people do not recognize the name of the author of our constitution. That is why, as we begin the school year, Uncle Dave is urging you to knuckle down and work hard in all your classes unless they're difficult or involve anything clearly useless such as the "cosine." You must prepare yourselves, young people, because Uncle Dave's generation is getting old. We are almost ready to go to the retirement home to spend the rest of our days tapping our bedpans rhythmically in time to "easy listening" rock 'n' roll. We must pass the torch on to you, and you must grasp it, ideally by the end that is not on fire. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Comment by clicking here. Previously: Modern medical mysteries Bored games Dave's Field of Nightmares Lewis and Clark stepped here! The ultimate water gun Poetic license, with no rhyme or reason Great moments in science This won't hurt a bit One giant leap for frogkind My visit to Nether-Netherland Smile and say cheese Shooting carps in Wisconsin The perfect storm Stickup in aisle 3 Please don't feed the tourists Land of the Frozen Earwax The birth of wail Honk if you're married and can't cope with anger Rabbit ears get poor reception Percentage of frogs in food jumps Night of the living roach Mr. Language Person: Some words of wisdomality Mind your P's and Q's and teas Loose lips sink sequels NOW WE'RE COOKIN'! The right to Bear clubs Science: It's just not fair Road warrior specials Where's the beef? (Low fat) There is nothing like a male (guys) MOTIVATE! THEN FAIL! NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS Rooting for the midgets of the Midway Revolt of the rodents He can drive any truck named ‘Tonka’ All bets are off How do you spell S-A-T? Sour grapes and mud Pro golf: A game of non-stop boredom Guard-dog vigilance is nothing to sniff at Warm and fuzzy Cold War memories The funny side of ‘Beowulf’ HOLY HEAT WAVE, BATMAN! Abs-olute madness Beware of brainy bugs I'm in a sorry state The frog plague: The inside story If she had a hammer…. Keeping an eye on crime Camping and Lewis and Clark When in Iowa, don't forget to duck Junior takes the wheel Growing old with Dave Sites for sore eyes Beware of sheep droppings Ireland, land of bad Elvis Mr. Peabrain's misadventures When they're out to get you, keep cool Mothers of invention Kill 'em with kindness © 2006, The Miami Herald Distributed by Tribune Media Services, Inc.

Columnists Mitch Albom Jay Ambrose Bruce Bialosky Lori Borgman Ben Carson Mona Charen Richard Z. Chesnoff Alicia Colon Ann Coulter Greg Crosby Larry Elder Suzanne Fields Christine Flowers Bernie Goldberg Jonah Goldberg Paul Greenberg Argus Hamilton Victor Davis Hanson Froma Harrop Ron Hart Nat Hentoff A. Barton Hinkle Laura Hollis Jeff Jacoby Jack Kelly Ch. Krauthammer David Limbaugh Rich Lowry Michelle Malkin Ann McFeatters Dana Milbank Jeanne Moos Dick Morris Jim Mullen Judge A. Napolitano Kathleen Parker Star Parker Dennis Prager Wesley Pruden Tom Purcell Sharon Randall Michael Reagan Robert Robb Dave Ross Debra J. Saunders Martin Schram Robert Samuelson David Shribman Roger Simon Lenore Skenazy Michael Smerconish Thomas Sowell Mark Steyn John Stossel Cal Thomas Dan Thomasson Bob Tyrrell Dave Weinbaum George Will Walter Williams Byron York Cathy Young Mort Zuckerman Toons Eric Allie Robert Arial Baloo Pat Bagley Nate Beeler Lisa Benson Chip Bok Dry Bones John Branch Daryl Cagle Cameron Cardow Patrick Chappatte John Cole Paul Combs J. D. Crowe John Darkow Bill Day Matt Davies John Deering Bob Englehart Brian Duffy Everything's Relative Randall Enos Mallard Fillmore David Fitzsimmons Glenn Foden Jake Fuller Bob Gorrel Walt Handelsman Joe Heller David Hitch Jerry Holbert David Horsey Taylor Jones Lee Judge Steve Kelley Mike Keefe Jeff Koterba Dick Locher Chan Lowe Jimmy Margulies RJ Matson Gary McCoy Rick McKee Paresh Nath Jack Ohman Jeff Parker Milt Priggee Michael Ramirez Rob Rogers Steve Sack Bill Schorr Drew Sheneman Kevin Siers David Ray Skinner Jeff Stahler Scott Stantis Danna Summers Gary Varvel Kirk Walters Christopher Weyant Larry Wright Dan Wasserman Adam Zyglis Lifestyles Tech Q&A Ask Doctor K Richard Lederer Bookmark These Bruce Williams