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Sept. 5, 2008

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: What does 'doing the right thing' entail?

Caroline B. Glick: The master strategist

Sept. 4, 2008

Ron Kampeas: Biden, Palin take lead in clash on Mideast issues

Bruce Dancis: With humor as their weapon, the Three Stooges took on Hitler

Sept. 3, 2008

Rabbi S. Binyomin Ginsberg: Productive school years don't just happen

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Quick lamb stew serves up flavors of India

Sept. 2, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Costly Advice

Caroline B. Glick: Calling Israel's bluff

JWisdom: Wandering in Wonder by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

August 29, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: 20/20 sightlessness

Caroline B. Glick: When history is not repeated

JWisdom: Blessed or Cursed: It's Really Up to You by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

August 28, 2008

Steve Lipman: A Comeback for the 'Jewish Jordan'

Jeffrey Weiss: Researcher reports 'intriguing' diabetes breakthrough

August 27, 2008

Rabbi Zecharya Greenwald: Removing the perfectionist's mask

The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Nunn: Summer harvest linguine

JWisdom:: The Missing Link in Spiritual Life by Rabbi David Aaron

August 26, 2008

Yaffa Ganz: Grandma gets lessons in staying cool

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: The Dems' 'soft' jihadist

JWisdom:: Today: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Plague of indifference

August 25, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q: A friend is bearing a silly grudge from a supposed wrong. What recourse do I have?

Daniel Pipes: Barack Obama through Muslim Eyes

JWisdom:: The knowledge you need to overcome your insecurities by Malka Schulman

August 22, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: Life's essential ingredient

Caroline B. Glick: Dominos anyone?

JWisdom:: Actually, Do Sweat the Small Stuff! by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

August 21, 2008

Today in Biblical History by Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Popularization of Kabbalah: 20 Menachem-Av 1558 CE

Jonathan Rosenblum: Lessons from the Beyond

JWisdom: : The Olympian within is rooting for you -- yes, you! –- to go for the gold

August 20, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: Misleading Platform Platitudes

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Chicken Salad with Asian Dressing

JWisdom: The Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith: America's Defense of the Jews --- Until WWII by Rabbi Nosson Scherman

August 19, 2008

Dennis Prager: If the Almighty doesn't exist

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Obama's Islamist problem has nothing to do with his upbringing

JWisdom: Think your life is messed up? by Rabbi David Aaron

August 18, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Business with Friends

Diana West: Roars About Russia, Bare Whispers About Islam

JWisdom: Relationship agony: The real cause by Malka Schulman

August 15, 2008

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: To love the Divine

Caroline B. Glick: Georgia, Israel, and the nature of man

JWisdom: The Truly Righteous Don't Demand Entitlements by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

August 14, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Confessions of broken spirit

Libby Lazewnik: The Numbers Game

JWisdom: Six Questions You'll Be Asked in Heaven? - Uh - Let's Just Take One for Now! by Gavriel Aryeh Sanders

August 13, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: Georgia should be on their minds

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Go Greek: Pair flavorful lamb kebabs with a hearty salad

JWisdom: Human hybrids aren't science fiction by Rabbi David Aaron

August 12, 2008

Rabbi Avi Shafran: Bless us

Daniel Pipes: The West's Islamist Infiltrators

JWisdom: From Sadness to Gladness: The Route from Tisha b'Av to Rosh Hashana by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

August 11, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: A Jewish view on fair pricing

Caroline B. Glick: Ignoring failure in Gaza

JWisdom: 'Communication' Is Not The Answer! by Malka Schulman

August 7, 2008

Rabbi David Gutterman: A Continuing Story With a Sustaining Goal

Rabbi Berel Wein: Mourning and morning

JWisdom: Yes, we are still in exile by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

August 6, 2008

David Ashenfelter: Government made military engineer's life a living hell because of his faith, Defense Department report documents

Jonathan Tobin: Speak the Truth; Defeat the Lies

JWisdom: Jewish Spirituality: Fusion or Confusion? by Rabbi David Aaron

August 5, 2008

Chris Leppek: Church/state wall beginning to crumble?

Paul Greenberg: Exit Olmert (no encore, please)

JWisdom: Serenity: Make the commitment by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin (Read by Gavriel Sanders)

August 4, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Am I taking advantage of another's psychological quirk?

Andrew Silow-Carroll: A black and a Jew walk into the White House…

JWisdom: The Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith: Edward R. Morrow visits the ‘living dead’ by Rabbi Nosson Scherman

March 22, 2007

J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review August 14, 2006 / 20 Menachem-Av, 5766

When in Iowa, don't forget to duck

By Dave Barry


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | If you're looking for a vacation travel destination that blends excitement with huge amounts of corn, I strongly recommend Iowa. I recently spent a few days there, and I can honestly say that it was comparable to experiences I've had in sophisticated, prestige travel destinations such as Paris, in the sense that I was not once engulfed by hog manure.


I was concerned about this, however. The second day I was in Iowa, the top story on the front page of The Des Moines Register was headlined, "Thousands of fish killed by manure spill."


The story stated that a leak in a storage basin at a major hog farm had resulted in "a mammoth hog manure spill," estimated at 1.5 million gallons, which — to give you a sense of magnitude — is more than the House of Representatives produces in a week.


The story said that state officials were especially alarmed because the manure spilled into a section of the Iowa River considered to be "one of the most prized canoe areas of the state." I can see where it could put a real crimp in a person's canoeing vacation. You're paddling peacefully down the Iowa River, when you hear this faint rumbling noise, which gets louder and louder until it sounds like a freight train, and you turn around, and there, thundering right at you — this would be just like the tidal-wave scene in "The Poseidon Adventure," only more aromatic — is the dreaded, biblically prophesied Wall of Swine Doots, and at that instant you realize that even if you do survive, you'll never be welcome in an elevator again.


Of course, it would be absurd to suggest that everybody who visits Iowa will be engulfed by manure leaking from storage basins. Some people could also be hit by manure shot from guns. You think I'm making this up, but that is only because you did not read The Wall Street Journal article about the Iowa hog industry, written by Scott Kilman and sent to me by many alert readers. This article states that Iowa's large hog farms have "huge waste lagoons, some emptied by 'manure guns' that fling their cargo through the air onto surrounding fields — and occasionally onto passing cars."


I am certainly not in a position to be critical, inasmuch as I live in Miami, an area also known for shooting at people's cars. But at least we have the common decency to use bullets.


Anyway, my point is that aside from the manure danger, there's no reason in the world not to vacation in Iowa, unless you're concerned about piranhas. I quote here from an Associated Press story that also appeared in The Des Moines Register when I was out there:


"SIOUX CITY, IOWA — For the second time in a week, a fisherman has reeled in a piranha from the Missouri River just south of Sioux City's downtown area. . . . A third report of a piranha came from Blue Lake at Lewis and Clark Park near Onawa."


The story quotes an Iowa state fishery official as saying that piranha reports are "not unusual" in Iowa; he also notes, reassuringly, that "piranhas will bite but so will bluegill, bass and snapping turtles, all of which can be found in Blue Lake."


That certainly makes me feel better. Clearly, the lesson here is that if you, the Iowa vacationer, would prefer for whatever personal reason not to be consumed by marine life, it would be wise for you to refrain from jumping into the water except in an emergency, such as when you're trying to evade an incoming round of gun-fired hog manure.


But aside from the piranhas and the attack manure, I can't think of a single thing that could possibly spoil your Iowa vacation, unless you plan to have breakfast. I refer here to yet another Des Moines Register story sent in by many concerned readers, which states that firefighters in Cedar Rapids were called to the General Mills plant to extinguish — I swear I am not making this up — "spontaneously igniting Cheerios."


So, OK, you have fish attacking, manure rampaging and cereal bursting into flame. Also, during July's severe heat wave in Iowa, there were news reports of — I am not making this up, either — cows exploding. But I am still urging you to take your vacation in Iowa.


Why? I can answer that question in five words, which you have probably already guessed: "the world's largest popcorn ball." Yes. It turns out that Sac County, Iowa, is the Popcorn Capital of the World, and in an effort to promote this fact and get in the Guinness Book of World Records, people there constructed a popcorn ball that is 22 feet in circumference. It weighs over a ton.


I had read an Associated Press article about the popcorn ball, sent to me by several alert readers, so when I was in Iowa I drove up to Sac County to take a look at it. I have seen some of the world's greatest attractions — the Eiffel Tower, the Grand Canyon, Ray Charles — and I can honestly say that this popcorn ball has them all beat, at least in terms of sugar content. Jim Stock, president of Stock Popcorn in Lake View, Iowa, told me that the popcorn ball, which travels around on its own trailer, is available on a limited basis to make public appearances. So if you can't get to Iowa this summer, maybe you can arrange to have what is probably the largest single snack item in the universe come to your town; it would definitely add "a touch of class" to any wedding, bar mitzvah or funeral.


But I hope you can get to Iowa. I had a great time there, and found the Iowans to be extremely friendly. Of course, that will change once this column appears. The state tourism commission will probably come after me. And they'll be packing the Doot Gun.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

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Previously:

Junior takes the wheel
Growing old with Dave
Sites for sore eyes
Beware of sheep droppings
Ireland, land of bad Elvis
Mr. Peabrain's misadventures
When they're out to get you, keep cool
Mothers of invention
Kill 'em with kindness



© 2006, The Miami Herald Distributed by Tribune Media Services, Inc.

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