May 13, 2013
David G. Savage:
Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church
May 10, 2013
Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be
May 8, 2013
Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas
Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate
At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad
The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross :
Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility
May 6, 2013
May 3, 2013
Kids, kittens the Same?
With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell
Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine
April 29, 2013
Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust
Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots?
Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed
Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA
April 26, 2013
Clifford D. May:
Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism
Sharon Palmer, R.D.:
How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty
April 24, 2013
Admit it: No one has any idea what's going on
April 22, 2013
US man departing country arrested on terror charges
An unorthodox but growing treatment in a 9-year-old's battle against cancer
April 19, 2013
Caroline B. Glick:
Why Obama's visit to Israel had no impact on public opinion or government policy
Gold collapse: The start of something big?
Livable super-Earths? Two candidates among Kepler's latest finds
April 17, 2013
Too much of a good thing? 'Palestinians' realize downside of foreign aid boom
BAD NEWS: EVERYONE IS RIGHT!
April 15, 2013
Egyptian Christians respond with harsh words to attack -- rocks, Molotov cocktails, and gunfire -- against main cathedral
Marcy Darnovsky and Karuna Jaggar:
High Court to decide if you should own your DNA
US bracing for more Russian blowback after taking action against 18 more human rights violators
April 12, 2013
New cybersecurity bill: Privacy threat or crucial band-aid?
Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom:
The Kosher Gourmet by Susan Russo:
Jackie Robinson's Friend, Hank Greenberg; CNN's Jake Tapper; Texas County in the News is named for 19thC. Jewish soldier and Congressman
FRUITY QUINOA STUFFED PEPPERS: A flavorful, colorful and edible vessel of delicately fluffy, mildly nutty filling combined with chewy apricots, tangy cherries, and crunchy pistachios
April 10, 2013
North Korean missiles: Could US shoot them down?
Warning: Don't waste your capital being fooled by profit prophets
Donald Hensrud, M.D.:
Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Take vitamin supplements with caution --- even approved, they may actually do damage
74 DNA discoveries move cure closer for three cancers
April 8, 2013
Jonathan Tobin: What Part of No Preconditions Do American Jews Not Get?
Is Putin finally trading his own party for a new power base?
Jewish World Review
April 7, 2008
/ 2 Nissan 5768
How to speak English very much better
It's time for another installation of "Ask Mister Language Person," the penultimate authority on grammatorical issues; the column that puts the "p-u" in punctuation; the only language column that was endorsed by both Jane Austen and William Shakespeare just before they died together in a romantic car crash.
Today we regret that we must begin our column with this:
TERRORIST THREAT WARNING
We have received alarming information from very high sources in the federal government.
Q. How high were they?
A. They were wearing their underpants on their heads.
According to these sources, terrorists may be planning an attack on America's linguistic infrastructure. The targets will be critical strategic phrases without which this nation cannot function, including: "Like"; "You know"; "Like you know"; "Like you know what I mean?"; "Like you know what I'm saying?"; "Have a nice day" and "Your call is very important to us." Keep a sharp ear out, and if you hear anybody using any of these phrases in a suspicious manner, you should immediately notify the attorney general. Speak directly into the fly of his briefs.
We turn now to answering common language questions, starting with one sent in by an anonymous resident of Washington, who writes:
Q. I am the chief justice of the United States, and I'm hoping you can settle an argument. I say the correct wording is: "My mother says to choose the very best one and you are it!" Whereas my colleagues insist that it should be: "My mother says to choose the very best one and y, o, u, spells YOU!" Please answer promptly, as this involves the death penalty.
A. We put your question to the American Bar Association, which sent us a 127-page response.
Q. What does it say?
A. We have no idea.
Q. What is the correct usage of the phrase "being as how"?
A. It is correctly used as follows: "Steer clear of the gumbo, being as how Bernice can't find her hair net."
Q. As far as grammar, what is the difference between "bring" and "take"?
A. "Bring" is a prehensile imprecation that must be used in the vindictive tense.
EXAMPLE: "Earl should of never brung Silly String to the viewing."
Whereas "take" is used in fraternal exhortations.
EXAMPLE: "Take a gander at THEM headlamps!"
Q. As a fourth-year medical student, I am wondering if there is any way to remember the difference between "prostrate" and "prostate."
A. We contacted the Mayo Clinic, which informs us that surgeons there use this simple poem:
If two R's are found, it is down on the ground
If one R is on hand, then it is a gland.
Q. What about "transpire" vs. "perspire"?
A. That one still has them stumped.
Q. Do you have any true examples of strong grammar usage that you are not making up, sent in by alert readers?
A. You are darned tooting:
Pat Anthony sent in a letter to the editor published in the El Dorado News-Times in Arkansas, which begins as follows: "I would like to apologize for my stupid acts and irresponsible behavior. I know I shouldn't have rode my horse into town drunk, much less in Wal-Mart."
Terry Zeri sent in a sign from the wall of a rest room in Fremont Lake, Wyo., which states: "THIS REST ROOM IS CLEANED BY VOLUNTEERS. PLEASE HELP US KEEP THEM CLEAN."
Anne Morter sent in a police-blotter item from the Lake County Examiner in Oregon, concerning a woman arrested for allegedly abusing geese. The item states that the woman "was released under the conditions that she is to have no contact in person, by telephone or through a third party with geese."
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© 2006, The Miami Herald Distributed by Tribune Media Services, Inc.
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